This short week is flying by- Thursday already!
Before it’s too far gone, here are a few scenes from our long Memorial Day weekend.
Saturday’s outing was the long walk to the bookstore + coffee shop. (Already shared.)
On Sunday, Ivan and I walked Charlie at a nearby marsh, and then went to lunch at Panera. While there, we updated a shared Google Keep note with “household tasks” that need doing (think more irregular tasks) that I need to be on IVAN’S radar, not just mine. 😉 He thought this was fun!! 😁
Not shown: afternoon of fridge cleaning, grocery shopping, babysitting our niece and nephew for a couple hours, the gym, and some TV with Asher.
On Monday, it was another gorgeous day. Spent a long chunk in the sunroom doing some planning and reading blogs, did a Heather Robertson workout, showered, and then we (including the boys) all headed downtown to meet up with Ivan’s cousin + fam for a slow outdoors lunch on State St. Afterwards, we wandered around and hung out on the Memorial Union Terrace for a long while and got ice cream.
Snagged this cute pic of Asher and Ivan in a little bro hug 😉 Asher’s still growing!
I also got my summer flowers planted. I don’t do anything fancy and I’m no green thumb, but it’s something, at least.
Soda advice from Chat GPT
Changing gears: A soda quitting update.
Still going strong- I haven’t had a single sip in… (checks my Quitzilla app):
1 month, 7 days, 11 hours 57 minutes and 40 seconds.
I never feel like I’m going to slip and cheat. So that’s good.
HOWEVER- I do have quite a few moments of sadness. This happens every time I quit soda. It’s not constant, but it comes and goes.
Specifically when I start to anticipate times I would normally have (and love!) soda, and then I realize I can’t have it. It’s so weird. My brain is clearly hard-wired yet!
For example, thinking of the upcoming weekend- I’m planning to go to my parents’ house for a bit. And the thought will literally cross my mind that it will be great to get a big soda to drink on the way….and then I remember. Oh. No I won’t. Or anticipating a meal out. I even had a flash of thinking ahead to August, when we go to the beach- and I remembered how my mom and I walked every morning to the convenience store for a cold soda and how great that tasted. But now I can’t. 😭
The GOOD news is, these thoughts pass. It’s not like I sit and perseverate on them. And honestly once I’m in the situation and I get an iced tea or a water or something else… I’m totally fine. It’s slightly sad, yes, but it’s not that bad or anything. That is encouraging. It’s more of a mental game than anything.
I find it annoying that these thoughts persist, though. Like, enough already! Go away. I’m done with you.
I decided to ask my buddy Chat GPT his thoughts on this predicament. What can he tell me? WILL this go away??
I wrote a paragraph explaining the situation – my history, past failed attempts at moderation, the disappearance of my reflux cough, my past associations with soda, and current state feelings- and asked: “How long is it normal to struggle with this??“
He actually had some encouraging insights. lol.
Yes to all the above. I liked the point that this was deeply woven into daily life for DECADES. And the realization that it’s really just my brain seeking those dopamine hits.
Also great points above. “Your body was genuinely not tolerating the soda well anymore.” This is a helpful thing to repeat to myself. And I also really like, “Your sadness about losing it can coexist with the reality that your body seems healthier without it.” I don’t NEED to not be sad right now; I can both be sad about losing it and also happy that I’m better off now.
“5 weeks is still early for rewiring something you did daily for almost 30 years.” This is another great reminder. And, “Your brain literally grew up with soda as a reward signal.” YES!! I cannot expect myself to never think about it again so quickly.
I love these inisights. Recognizing that my replacements will not be as good and that’s okay right now is actually helpful.
And I find the steps about the palate/reward sensitivity recalibrating really encouraging that eventually it will get easier.
And now, for the Chat GPT mic drop:
My own history matters more. YES. It does. Because while some people may be able to moderate, and maybe I could, if I really, really, really tried….but my personal history has proven that I really can’t, or at least not reliably.
Thinking of the active reward loop as “mentally noisy” is also a very helpful image. Making it just totally go away will ultimately be easier, long term.
And I laughed out loud at it literally catching me bargaining. 😆 (In my prompt I had said something like, I do sometimes wonder if it would be better to just focus on learning to moderate, instead??) LOL.
It then gave me a few tips on things to try as replacements, and then closed with this little pat on the back:
Thanks Chad. Good talk!! 😅
Kind of hilarious that I just had a little therapy session with a robot, but I actually did find it helpful. I am writing down a few of those mantras to keep in mind when doubts creep in.
(Again, I do find this embarrassing to share, because like, how is soda causing me so much mental angst?! I am sure many of you think this is nutso. 😬 Thanks again all for not laughing at me and for your support. 💕)
I’ll keep you posted as I keep on keeping on! 💪
Has anyone else asked Chat GPT for life advice?! 😂
Daily Gratitude:
I am grateful for a great stretch of weather- and it will continue:
GRATEFUL KAE 
Look, I don’t want to be a downer, but I think it is deeply concerning that people are going to AI for mental health help. Feel free to delete this comment if you think it’s overstretching, but there are some things we should NOT farm out to language pattern recognizing software and your mental health is one of those things. I had to go off caffeine for health reasons (and I’m going to be honest, it has not helped with the health thing, but I still don’t have a lot of caffeine so I can tell the medical professionals that it’s not the cause) and once I did that, the only pop I could have was gross stuff like Sprite. It’s been YEARS and I still crave a Diet Coke from McDonald’s every time I drive by a McDonald’s. I just drink my Gatorade and pretend it’s good.
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I don’t mind your comment, and I probably should have included a disclaimer that I certainly would not recommend AI for true mental health needs. I agree that that is NOT a good use of AI. I’m pretty wary of AI in general and use it pretty sparingly so far.
However, for me, this was not an attempt at replacing actual therapy. I don’t feel any need for real psychotherapy over this issue. Frankly, I was being kind of silly and just playing around and thought it would be interesting/funny to see what it said. For me, it reinforced things that I already knew and believed- it was mostly just a little pep talk, and I liked its little one liners. 🤷♀️ I’m sorry if light-heartedly comparing it actual, professional therapy bothered you.
I’m also sorry that your cravings for soda have never dissipated. I wonder if you think about it multiple times a day or actively struggle with it? Or is it just a brief passing thought now and then of a former life?
Anecdotally, other people I know who have quit addictions DO actually find that with time, their brains do rewire and the thought patterns change. My BIL had serious addiction in the past to drugs/ alcohol, did AA etc. and I recently asked him about this- he says he literally never thinks about it anymore after just a few years sober, which is awesome. My dad used to be a smoker for many years and ALSO drank a ton of Coke in his working days, but he has been quit off both for many many years and also says that he never even remotely considers either anymore- literally no desire to have a soda or a cigarette, ever. He doesn’t even LIKE soda anymore and flat out won’t drink it, even if it’s the only thing available, which is crazy! And Ivan used to smoke back in college in Mexico and has said the same thing- never gives it a second thought anymore. So, I do have hope that for me, as it has for many people I know and case studies I’ve read online, the addictive cravings will subside with time. I guess time will tell! 😉
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Engie, I don’t mean to be an enabler, but you know they make caffeine-free Diet Coke…
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I DO know about CFDC and I do have it as a treat occasionally since my FIL stocks it at his house. However, my LOVE is fountain pop. I did discover that there’s a gas station between my house and my FIL’s house that has CFDC IN A FOUNTAIN and I nearly died of glee. Now I get a giant cup whenever we go to Iowa, which makes me want to go to Iowa more. That’s better, right?
To answer your question, Kae, the answer is that I think about Diet Coke daily. Not every minute of every day, but if I go buy a McDonald’s (which is A LOT of days), my mouth literally waters. And every night at dinner, I wish I had a can. BUT. I have just replaced it with other things and it’s fine. It’s not like I’m upset daily because I can’t have Diet Coke.
My father was a smoker for most of his life and when he quit, he definitely craved cigarettes every day. One of the last conversations we had was about how he wanted a drag. LOL. Maybe some people can rewire their brains, but I don’t suspect it’s most people.
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I went to ChatGPT recently for some life advice! I have a terrible habit of staying up too late or taking a little couch nap before getting into bed and I need to stop doing it! This is 100% something I could find online advice about, but it was helpful to do some back and forth with ChatGPT to come up with a plan. I hope I wouldn’t rely on it for in depth emotional support with an issue, but I do find it useful for these types of issues!
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of course I’m going to Claude, ChatGpt and Gemini for stuff. The latest is I gave it (them) my list of stocks/etfs from my play money brokerage account. It reviewed it, and pointed out some redundancies, double dipping. That was good. I also let go of my target retirement fund since it’s too conservative, and I got some pointers on that front. Protein dinner ideas. Overwhelm. Exercise ideas.
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i find the chat hilarious too but quite observant, isn’t it? the best part of discussing this with chatgdp is that he/she never gets tired of the conversation and keep going on forever, right? I find it useful in that sense, sometimes we just need to vent out and wish a patient friend will be there forever listening to the same story over and over again.
I am confident that this time you are on track for good. 🙂
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Well Kae, you know I don’t think this is nutso! I get why people are opposed to using AI for life advice, but if you do it the right way, it can be extremely helpful. I think this advice from ChatGPT is AMAZING. Actually really profound, and things I wouldn’t have thought of. I shared in your comment section, and then on my own blog, that I’m a little concerned about my once-a-week Coke Zero “treat.” Almost everyone assured me that once a week is not that bad, and I should stop being so hard on myself and just enjoy it. I think that would be great advice for a moderator, but I know myself. It’s an addiction, which I’m masking as moderation, and by having it once a week I’m keeping the “reward loop” activated.
Anyway, back to you. I can tell you that you CAN get over this. I know I’m not a good example right now, but when I completely went off sugar (10 years ago) I obviously stopped all soda- I didn’t like diet soda at that point so it wasn’t tempting- and after the initial adjustment period, I really did forget all about it. Like I didn’t crave it anymore and I wasn’t sad. So you will get there as well. The way I got back into it is so stupid- I was on a road trip with my son and he casually mentioned that there was a “new and improved” Diet Coke, i.e. Coke Zero, and at the next stop I impulsively decided to get one. Stupid, stupid, stupid! It’s like someone who’s been sober for ten years casually deciding to have a beer. No, you can’t do that! Anyway… I can’t even believe, between the two of us, how many words we’ve written about soda. I guess the bottom line is:
a) I totally get where you’re coming from and you’re not crazy
b) you can get through this (you’re already a good way there) and you won’t keep being sad for the rest of your life, and
c) do not let your tricky brain convince you to “just have one!”
On and one more thing- I think you’ve been getting a big fountain iced tea instead, which I think is a GREAT option. It’s still a treat, has caffeine and is actually more hydrating than soda.
Oh also your holiday weekend sounds like it was really fun : )
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I feel the pain of soda addiction, years of Diet Coke drinking. I stopped cold turkey and it killed me with headaches for a few days but then it was ok. I still craved it now and again, and I did end up going to more of the moderation level. Every once in a while a diet coke with a burger just sounded good. Most times I order iced tea though. I will admit the last few times I had a diet coke it just tasted off and wasn’t as good as I remembered, so I probably won’t be drinking it that often.
As for Chat, I enjoy using him as a sounding board for ideas, workout plans, and most recently travel ideas and my genealogy stuff. I will admit I rather enjoy his little one liners, but he has been pretty helpful and as long as I always keep in mind it’s not a real person then I’m fine with using it.
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I definitely take AI answers with a grain of salt (especially if you’re asking questions that really require accurate answers and I find the chatbots not always accurate!) but nothing wrong with having a little AI therapy (especially when it’s encouraging and helpful). You can do this, Kae.
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Madison must be so different in summer with the college kids away!
I have noticed that I have been generically referring to Chat GPT as a “he” and want to correct this habit – an implicit bias which I don’t like!
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