This short week is flying by- Thursday already!
Before it’s too far gone, here are a few scenes from our long Memorial Day weekend.
Saturday’s outing was the long walk to the bookstore + coffee shop. (Already shared.)
On Sunday, Ivan and I walked Charlie at a nearby marsh, and then went to lunch at Panera. While there, we updated a shared Google Keep note with “household tasks” that need doing (think more irregular tasks) that I need to be on IVAN’S radar, not just mine. 😉 He thought this was fun!! 😁
Not shown: afternoon of fridge cleaning, grocery shopping, babysitting our niece and nephew for a couple hours, the gym, and some TV with Asher.
On Monday, it was another gorgeous day. Spent a long chunk in the sunroom doing some planning and reading blogs, did a Heather Robertson workout, showered, and then we (including the boys) all headed downtown to meet up with Ivan’s cousin + fam for a slow outdoors lunch on State St. Afterwards, we wandered around and hung out on the Memorial Union Terrace for a long while and got ice cream.
Snagged this cute pic of Asher and Ivan in a little bro hug 😉 Asher’s still growing!
I also got my summer flowers planted. I don’t do anything fancy and I’m no green thumb, but it’s something, at least.
Soda advice from Chat GPT
Changing gears: A soda quitting update.
Still going strong- I haven’t had a single sip in… (checks my Quitzilla app):
1 month, 7 days, 11 hours 57 minutes and 40 seconds.
I never feel like I’m going to slip and cheat. So that’s good.
HOWEVER- I do have quite a few moments of sadness. This happens every time I quit soda. It’s not constant, but it comes and goes.
Specifically when I start to anticipate times I would normally have (and love!) soda, and then I realize I can’t have it. It’s so weird. My brain is clearly hard-wired yet!
For example, thinking of the upcoming weekend- I’m planning to go to my parents’ house for a bit. And the thought will literally cross my mind that it will be great to get a big soda to drink on the way….and then I remember. Oh. No I won’t. Or anticipating a meal out. I even had a flash of thinking ahead to August, when we go to the beach- and I remembered how my mom and I walked every morning to the convenience store for a cold soda and how great that tasted. But now I can’t. 😭
The GOOD news is, these thoughts pass. It’s not like I sit and perseverate on them. And honestly once I’m in the situation and I get an iced tea or a water or something else… I’m totally fine. It’s slightly sad, yes, but it’s not that bad or anything. That is encouraging. It’s more of a mental game than anything.
I find it annoying that these thoughts persist, though. Like, enough already! Go away. I’m done with you.
I decided to ask my buddy Chat GPT his thoughts on this predicament. What can he tell me? WILL this go away??
I wrote a paragraph explaining the situation – my history, past failed attempts at moderation, the disappearance of my reflux cough, my past associations with soda, and current state feelings- and asked: “How long is it normal to struggle with this??“
He actually had some encouraging insights. lol.
Yes to all the above. I liked the point that this was deeply woven into daily life for DECADES. And the realization that it’s really just my brain seeking those dopamine hits.
Also great points above. “Your body was genuinely not tolerating the soda well anymore.” This is a helpful thing to repeat to myself. And I also really like, “Your sadness about losing it can coexist with the reality that your body seems healthier without it.” I don’t NEED to not be sad right now; I can both be sad about losing it and also happy that I’m better off now.
“5 weeks is still early for rewiring something you did daily for almost 30 years.” This is another great reminder. And, “Your brain literally grew up with soda as a reward signal.” YES!! I cannot expect myself to never think about it again so quickly.
I love these inisights. Recognizing that my replacements will not be as good and that’s okay right now is actually helpful.
And I find the steps about the palate/reward sensitivity recalibrating really encouraging that eventually it will get easier.
And now, for the Chat GPT mic drop:
My own history matters more. YES. It does. Because while some people may be able to moderate, and maybe I could, if I really, really, really tried….but my personal history has proven that I really can’t, or at least not reliably.
Thinking of the active reward loop as “mentally noisy” is also a very helpful image. Making it just totally go away will ultimately be easier, long term.
And I laughed out loud at it literally catching me bargaining. 😆 (In my prompt I had said something like, I do sometimes wonder if it would be better to just focus on learning to moderate, instead??) LOL.
It then gave me a few tips on things to try as replacements, and then closed with this little pat on the back:
Thanks Chad. Good talk!! 😅
Kind of hilarious that I just had a little therapy session with a robot, but I actually did find it helpful. I am writing down a few of those mantras to keep in mind when doubts creep in.
(Again, I do find this embarrassing to share, because like, how is soda causing me so much mental angst?! I am sure many of you think this is nutso. 😬 Thanks again all for not laughing at me and for your support. 💕)
I’ll keep you posted as I keep on keeping on! 💪
Has anyone else asked Chat GPT for life advice?! 😂
Daily Gratitude:
I am grateful for a great stretch of weather- and it will continue:
GRATEFUL KAE 
Look, I don’t want to be a downer, but I think it is deeply concerning that people are going to AI for mental health help. Feel free to delete this comment if you think it’s overstretching, but there are some things we should NOT farm out to language pattern recognizing software and your mental health is one of those things. I had to go off caffeine for health reasons (and I’m going to be honest, it has not helped with the health thing, but I still don’t have a lot of caffeine so I can tell the medical professionals that it’s not the cause) and once I did that, the only pop I could have was gross stuff like Sprite. It’s been YEARS and I still crave a Diet Coke from McDonald’s every time I drive by a McDonald’s. I just drink my Gatorade and pretend it’s good.
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