Asher is 16!! His birthday was Tuesday, December 2nd.
The biggest and most exciting part of the day, was, of course, going to take his driver’s test!! Fortunately we remembered to log in weeks ago to schedule the appointment on his birthday, which is necessary to do far in advance or the slots fill up.
He was SO EXCITED about this. I will never understand the kids that don’t want to get their license right away, only because I remember how I was ecstatic at 16 to get my license and be able to drive myself places, and both of the boys have been the same way. (I mean- yes, it’s very nerve wracking, too! I can see upsides to kids waiting until they’re a little older! But for whatever reason, both of our boys could not WAIT to get their permit right at 15, and their license right at 16.)
The appointment was at 8:40 a.m. Tuesday. Of course, in true Wisconsin fashion, it would have to snow again on Monday night….
Walking Charlie in the snow + Christmas lights was fun though. 🙂
It was not “enough” snow this time for them to really plow (we got a huge storm on Saturday, but that had been all cleaned up and roads were clear). But it was enough snow to cover the roads, and with the subsequent temperature drop, none of it really melted.
When I woke up Tuesday, I ran out at 6 a.m. to pick up our traditional birthday donuts. Here’s how the roads looked, just 2 hours before his driver’s test:
Great….
It ended up being okay, though. A couple hours later did make a difference, and by the time we headed to the appointment, the main roads were quite a bit clearer. Anyway, they really only drive for like 10-15 minutes on the test and I figured the examiner would (hopefully) keep road conditions in mind, too.
Asher drove us to the test and we talked through the snow stuff- start braking extra early, super easy on turns, slower acceleration, etc. He was a little concerned about the part of the test where they have to park either up or down a hill (and turn the wheels the correct way). I told him if he couldn’t park super close to the curb due to snow piled up, just get as close as you reasonably can- and DON’T get my van stuck in the snow on your driver’s test! 😅
He (and I!) were both a bit nervous! I felt totally confident he could pass, but I also told him to not freak out if for some reason he didn’t pass. There are quite a few “automatic fail” scenarios and weird things can happen! (His friend actually failed the first time this past year- sounds like he was waiting to make a left turn in a stoplight intersection, thought he had space in the traffic and started to go, then actually realized the car coming toward him was coming too quickly, so he pulled back into the middle of the intersection to wait longer and did NOT immediately turn. It sounds like this was counted as “driving into oncoming traffic’s lane” which is an automatic fail, I guess. I mean, ok, this doesn’t instill a ton of confidence, lol, but at least he didn’t turn in front of the oncoming car?!)
Anyway, ASHER PASSED! Only 1 minor point deduction, which apparently was due to not checking a blind spot at one of the points during his Y- turn (on an empty road…).
If you look closely, you can see a girl in the car behind him sobbing into her hands who failed, right after Asher…. awwww. I felt so bad for her!! The mom looked on the verge of tears, too, which I totally get. (I just knew how excited Asher was about this so if he had failed for some reason, he would have been crushed, which would have then made me feel really bad, for him!) But, driving is serious business. I’d much rather they fail someone who wasn’t actually ready and keep them safe!
We do not quite yet have the “car situation” figured out for an additional vehicle yet, now with 4 drivers who often all need to be different places at the same time… 😵💫 We’re working on it. Hopefully soon!
In the meantime, Asher asked if he could take my van to school. I’ll admit it’s a very odd and sort of scary feeling for your kid to drive off alone for the first time. But I guess this is how these things go. I distinctly remember driving myself to school on the day I got my license, too, and that was a “very big exciting deal”! I felt soooo cool. Hahaha.
After swim practice, we went out for his birthday dinner. My boys have been on a serious Texas Roadhouse kick for birthdays lately, and that was Asher’s choice yet again. (It’s fine- it was cold, dark, and 7:30 pm on a Tuesday…Texas Roadhouse is easy and close and fun.)
Asher got his steak, as usual, always rare for him…
Ivan’s brother and his girlfriend met us there too, which was nice.
Back at home, he opened gifts and we basically called it a night!
He mostly got some clothes, a new water bottle he’d requested, money towards a golf membership, and Ethan got him some new gaming headphones. My parents also got him some fancy new golf club he really wanted! (They gave him that in advance over Thanksgiving.) He was very happy all around and gave me a big hug and said it was a great birthday! 😊
Now we sit back and a) pray hard that everything goes okay with 2 drivers on the road and b) marvel at the fact that NEITHER of our kids will need rides places anymore?!? (*Within reason- we aren’t just giving Asher free rein to drive anywhere/ everywhere right away. He needs to ease in a bit and slowly gain that experience!)
But it was frankly bizarre on Tuesday night to have both kids show up at home with no parental involvement. Ethan stayed after school to lift weights and then had a post-season meeting with his soccer coach, and Asher drove himself home from swim practice. Crazy.
I can see the major benefits to our lives (freedom! flexibility!) with this, but it also makes me feel wistful. Driving my kids places and chit-chatting in the car, catching up, etc. has been a huge part of my life for the past ~15 years.
It’s definitely the end of an era. 😥 I will really miss (some) parts of it! I feel sad about not having that built in time with my kids anymore…. with busy teens who have their own lives now, our time together seems to whittle away to barely anything anymore, many days. It’s so different from when they’re little! (Of note, I will also enjoy the new freedom to not have to worry about kids’ pickup schedules anymore. 😅)
After being able to leave kids home alone (which is AH-MAZING when that happens), this is definitely the other most impactful parenting milestone, though!
A few highlights from the past year with Asher:
Happy sweet 16 to my baby! Please, for the love of God, stay safe out there!!! 🙏🙏
Daily Gratitude:
I am grateful for Asher passing his driver’s test, because I know he would have been SO disappointed and it would have probably totally ruined his birthday.
GRATEFUL KAE 
What a huge milestone! Congrats and happy birthday to Asher, and hope you enjoy the margin and space that comes with having an extra driver in the house!
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Thank you! It’s hard to believe that my little guy is 16! I remember the night he was born like it was yesterday! 🥺
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So my kid was one of those kids who really didn’t want to learn to drive. We basically forced him to do it because we needed him to be able to drive. But I think this is because where we live you can get to a lot of places without a car. That includes school, the main drag in our town that has stores and restaurants. Plus he can walk to the commuter rail and be in NYC in 35 minutes. There just aren’t as many places that can only be accessed with a car.
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Oh man, my kids would go CRAZY over being able to get into NYC on their own! That’s so cool. Yeah, this all totally makes sense in your son’s case! Where we live, there’s literally NOWHERE that you can get without a car (or a longer bike ride, I suppose), not counting I guess a few things right in our neighborhood- our gym, a park, and a popular gas station that kids like to get treats at. But even those places are a bit of a walk. That does probably have something to do with it! I mostly get the impression that my kids are excited by just the freedom to go driving around, alone, listening to music, to go buy ice cream or go to a friend’s house etc. At least for me, I remember feeling very “grown up” and I also thought it was just “fun” to drive back then.
Also, everyone is different! There’s certainly nothing wrong with a kid being more hesitant to drive, too! 🙂
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Happy birthday and congrats to your son for passing! My first son did not pass, and it was very upsetting. I learned after that not to tell anyone when the next kids were taking the test, only to tell them after they had passed (the next three passed on the first time).
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Happy birthday!!! Sounds like a terrific day and congrats to him on the test! I love having kids who are drivers, even though we now have a ridiculous number of cars, with more to come next year LOL
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In sure my husband will be offering to drive the girls around until he’s too old to drive. I’m not sure when I’ll feel comfortable to let them out by themselves. Sobbing in advance.
Congrats on passing the test!
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Congratulations to Asher on passing his test! What a milestone for your kids to be able to get places all on their own.
I was a kid that wasn’t in a rush to get my license. I finally got it at 21 but I lived in New York and then LA which had plenty of things you could walk to and reasonable public transit. In fact my parents didn’t own a car when I was 16. I did appreciate the freedom of going places once I got my license and a car.
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Happy birthday to Asher. He must have been so excited to pass the driver’s test on his birthday (I still find it so “early” that kids can drive here at 16 – in Germany, you get your license when you’re 18). They still seem so young… Haha.
Sounds like he had an all around great birthday! One to remember!
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Happy Birthday to Asher, and HOORAY! He passed his test! I’m sure he’s a great driver, but as you said weird things can happen and it would have been so sad if he didn’t pass. My daughter is one of the weird kids who doesn’t want to drive yet- and she’s almost 17!!! I’ve started to gently coax her. She finished a drivers ed class and now we just need to GET THAT PERMIT. I don’t know- in a lot of ways she’s still immature. I think the goal will be for her to have her license before college. I am sick and tired of driving everywhere (only one of her friends has a license) but there’s also those conversations in the car that are priceless. Well, everything in due time!
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I also took my driver’s test on my birthday as well! We went to a very small town to take the test. Here in Minneapolis the tests are done on a closed course and apparently it is kind of confusing in ways! My parents were thrilled when I got my license. I was the 4th child so they were used to giving us that independence and it made their life so much easier! My uncle was a GM at a car dealership so they got a good deal on a cute 1989 Toyota Celica. It was very sporty and cute but had rear wheel drive so in retrospect, it was kind of a terrible car for a young person! It was terrible on snow and ice. My HS boyfriend loved driving it because he would easily make cookies on icy roads. I found it terrifying, though!!
It sounds like he had a really special day! Your dinner out sounded great!!
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My brother and I were definitely the kids who wanted our license IMMEDIATELY. My nephew, on the other hand, waited a bit. Maybe 6 months after he turned 15? We don’t live in a walkable area, so driving is a must! It must be so weird to see him driving away ON HIS OWN, though. I never thought of how my mom might have felt about that, lol!
Happy birthday to Asher and happy freeeeedom to you!
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