Kids, Life

An intermittent but persistent worry

I’ve been having this ongoing worry for a while now. Not something I sit and perseverate on or anything, but just something I think about, worry about for a little bit, then forget about for a while, and then it comes back. Last night Asher reminded me of it, so it’s back in my mind again.

Long story short, the city we live in is building another high school. We currently have one (all the kids go to the same one). Well, the city has grown and we needed another one. So construction is underway and the new high school will open in 2022.

This is all fine and dandy, and overall a good (and necessary) thing. But, my boys currently go to a private school. This means that there are no map “boundaries” for that school- whoever wants to go there, goes. Since it’s only a K-8 school, most kids eventually go to public school for 9-12 (some do private high school, but the private high schools are really far away…and $$$$$).

Until now, this hasn’t been an issue. One high school= all the kids from the private school go to high school together eventually, too.

Well, they recently released the boundary map for the new high school. Based on where we live, we are zoned to go to the NEW high school. Exciting! But no. Well, kind of.

ETHAN is thrilled, because his best friends live right in our neighborhood and they will also go to the nice, shiny new high school. Cool.

But my sweet Asher!! 😭😭 Turns out, ALL of his friends will be zoned to the old high school….except him. Especially devastating to him is that his “best” friend will, too. He tells me he literally doesn’t know of anyone from his friend group that will be at the new high school.

Granted, he is only in 5th grade (almost 6th)! We have a few years to go before high school. But this just breaks my heart. (And I think it’s hard for him to know his whole “gang” will be together, but without him.)

I know, I know, I know. Kids can go to all different schools, people move, life changes, the world keeps spinning, etc. etc. But he is so happy right now at school. He loves his friends. I love his friends! They are a great bunch. Good kids, nice families, hard working, well behaved…and most of all, wonderful friends to Asher.

I had the same two best friends from 4th grade all the way through senior year and I honestly think it would have felt like I was losing my right arm if I had been split from them in 9th grade!!! I cannot EVEN imagine. Ivan, on the other hand, moved around a bunch at that age, went to several different schools and shrugs it off as no biggie. He says you just deal with it and meet some new people. Different experiences, I guess….

It just makes me really sad. Asher brought it up last night, again… he wanted to know if there was some way to like, “pay” to go to the old high school instead?? Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that, buddy! I guess I don’t actually know for sure if there IS someway to enroll at the other one, but I highly, highly doubt it (barring special circumstances).

I know he can still remain friends with his current friends even if they don’t go to school together, but there’s something about the day to day, chatting between classes, sitting together at lunch, etc. that just won’t be the same.

Anyway, it came up again last night at our house and I woke up with it on my mind, so just wanted to share.

Did you ever have to switch schools in middle or high school??

Baby geese season again!! It’s a whole goose town, I think!

Daily Gratitude:

I am grateful for a much needed relaxing evening last night after the busy weekend. A long family walk, then hot tub with Asher, then an episode of This is Us with Ivan.

4 thoughts on “An intermittent but persistent worry”

  1. Oh no! I can totally see how that would be challenging. I know in the district I work for there is an open enrollment option if there are extra spaces, but I’m not sure how it works in Wisconsin. I didn’t have to change schools except in elementary school, but I did naturally make new friends in middle and high school because of different sports teams, new students from other schools, classes etc. The friends I am still closest with are the ones I made in middle and high school.


  2. Oh my heart. He can just live with us, lol.

    Not middle school but my family moved before 6th grade. Thankfully I could see all my old friends at the junior high in 7th grade again.


  3. Oh that is tough, especially since none of his friends are zoned for the new school. It’s a ways off so maybe someone will move and be in the new school boundaries? I’m sure he will adjust but it’s probably hard having that hang over you.

    I grew up in a TINY town of 500 people so my school had K-12. There were 28 people in my class and I HATED it. I begged my parents to send me to a boarding school in high school but they refused. I understand now as your kids are grown and out of the house before you know it but at the time I was so mad that they wouldn’t let me go somewhere else. I had a really horrible high school experience and really didn’t have any true friends besides my cousin. You were either an athlete or you were a trouble-maker who drank, smoked pot, etc. I was neither! Instead I was really studious and into things like music, drama, speech, etc. I was so glad I found my people in college, though. I’m glad our kids will have a different experience. We bought this house thinking our boys would go to a certain school but then the district just made a huge overhaul and redid the school boundaries so now they’ll go to a different school. But it’s still great. And then when it comes time for Jr/Sr High, I think they will be with most of their class at Jr High, but then you split to 2 different schools for Sr High. We are happy w/ the high school we are mapped to currently but so much can change in the years to come. My husband jokes that I shouldn’t even pay attention to the mapping because things are bound to change again. Our school district is always trying to change things up to keep enrollment up/address equity so he is probably right. But basically any experience they will have will be a million times better than mine and I turned out well! So I tell myself it will all work out for them!


  4. i changed school many times, 4 times in primary school, 2 times in middle/high school, and went to 3 different colleges and 2 grad schools. it really depends on kids personality whether he can establish new friendships or he’s introvert and prefers old pals. either way, i’m sure he’ll adjust well. it’s part of life learning process. but i can feel for you, mom suffers more seeing her children suffer. that’s the hardest part of motherhood.


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