I just sat here and pondered what I wanted to title this post I’m about to write. At first I thought “exhale”, as in, I’m finally able to exhale. But I don’t quite yet feel that I’m exhaling. “Brain dump” isn’t right either. “Catch up” or “Lately” feels a little too benign or relaxed for my current mental state. “Recent overwhelm” is closer but sounds negative. “All the Stuff We’ve Done Lately” is perhaps most accurate, or “We Just Had a Ton of Great Times but This Introvert is Wilting”, but neither make for a great title. 😅
I settled on “Whew”. A big happy exhale, satisfied and content, but simultaneously releasing the ball of tension and busy-ness and too much peopling I’ve been carrying in my shoulders. The kind of exhale where you kind of shake your head bewilderedly and look around like, What exactly just happened??
This summer has felt bonkers, for lack of a more literarily pleasing word. My parent’s move was a major part in it, plus 2 big, long, far-away trips, and then just a lot of FAMILY!
I sometimes struggle to put these thoughts into the right words. I worry that it might come across that I’m somehow resentful of the family time and visitors? Or that I wish it hadn’t happened or they hadn’t come? But that’s not it at all. It’s just a classic dichotomy- WONDERFUL and STRESSFUL at the same time. Like when you’re at the beach and it’s super hot and sunny, and you want it to be super hot and sunny, because you’re at the beach!, but also, you’re a little uncomfortably hot and sticky, too.
Everyone has officially gone home now. Sunday was departure day- my in-laws flew home early Sunday morning, and my sister’s family left Sunday evening. It was sad to say goodbye to everyone, especially my little nieces and nephew, who are so freaking cute and just the sweetest. Ivan is always visibly sad when his parents leave, even though the same dichotomy exists for him- it’s a lot when they’re here!
I wish I could say that I’ve now been spending this week lounging on the deck and sipping iced tea and just reveling in a bunch of soul-refreshing solitude, but weirdly, life keeps life-ing.
I mentioned the series of household calamities that have plagued us lately- an A/C repair, a leaking solar water heater, TOO MANY (disruptive to my days) service call visits and then multiple HVAC quotes and then more leaking solar water heater episodes (x2, including the thing overheating and making a scary whistling noise like a teapot and then steam coming out of it (while simultaneously pouring water all over the floor that would not stop) while I was in a meeting with an attending surgeon, leading to 2 frantic Facetime calls with the plumber while I had Asher take Charlie and drive away and I almost called the fire department because I literally thought it was going to explode (the water inside was actually boiling and it had over-pressurized; I was already envisioning the headlines: “42 year old Sun Prairie woman killed in freak water tank explosion accident”…. ). Then a 2 hour clean up session of water all over the basement floor, once I finally got it to stop (alone, because Ivan was at work) and then finally a 4-hour service visit last Friday where we burned the whole thing down and had the huge solar roof panels and 100 gallon solar tank removed.
We now have thousands of dollars of bills, and we need a new roof, too, by the way. (Note to self- I need to get going on scheduling roof estimates.) We also had a home appraisal done last week because we have too many huge home expenses on the horizon and got a HELOC.
Work has also had me right on the verge of a sanity breakdown. Nothing interesting enough to elaborate on, but just a very heavy load right now. My plate is full and people keep trying to slide one more scoop of peas on there.
I now want to list out everything else we’ve done in the past couple of weeks, I guess so, I don’t know, you can all validate that yes, it was a lot, lol, but mostly “for the record”!
Last Week:
Monday:
- Ethan’s 1st day of school
- went to Ivan’s cousin’s house after work (with Ivan’s parents) for dinner, 30 min away. Got home ~10 pm.
Tuesday:
- to my parents’ house with my in-laws after work, then out for a quick dinner w/ my in-laws.
Wednesday:
- a big family dinner out with Ivan’s side (us, his parents, our nephew, his brother/ gf) at a Mexican place ~25 minutes away. (Not our usual Mexican place; more later on this but we’re currently on the outs with that place! Boo.)
Thursday:
- a double date with my sister + brother-in-law!! This was SO FUN; we went out in downtown Madison for dinner then back to our house for a night cap at our basement bar. I ran them home after 10 pm.
Friday:
- 7:30 a.m. appointment to remove the solar water heater + panels
- my mom’s cousin came to town during the day; I spent my lunch hour at their house- I hadn’t seen her in years.
- then my parents + sister + family all came over right after work to hang out; Ivan brought home take out for dinner. Kids watched a movie, adults chatted around the table. Low key, relaxing and fun!
Saturday:
Busy all day:
- Ivan’s sister’s baby turned 1 and they baptized her on Saturday. Got dressed up, then to church at 12 and the baptism/birthday party after with Ivan’s whole side.
- Ivan had soccer at 4 (I dropped him there from the party)
- I then met up with my family. Took the nieces/nephew to Panera to see Ethan at work and get cookies, back to our house for Charlie goodbyes, then hung out at my parents’ house until 8. This was my sister’s last night here.
- Then, as I was driving home, thinking I might go soak in the hot tub, Ivan called to say his whole family (7+ people) were all coming back to our house at 8:30 pm (it was his parents’ last night, too) and we hung out here until almost 11 pm.
Sunday:
- a brief reprieve in the morning but spent it trying to catch up on life a little- our finance tracking/ Monarch were a mess
- at 3 pm I drove my sister and fam to Chicago O’Hare (with my parents), 2+ hours each way, then stopped for dinner after with my parents on the way home. Got home at like… 9:30?
This Week
Monday:
- everyone gone! House is empty. But, bad timing- I had to drive downtown to hospital for my annual performance evaluation at 10:15, through campus move-in traffic. Ran a couple errands on my way home.
- Finally stayed HOME Monday night and ate up leftovers! (But I worked late until almost 7 pm, because, see above, work has been crazy.)
Tuesday:
- slept badly (seriously, ever since I bragged on last week’s post how amazing I’ve been sleeping for months, I have slept poorly 3 times in the past week!!). Woke up at 4:15 and started working, because, why not, I was awake…(*I took a mid-morning gym + shower break which was nice.)
- Ethan’s 1st soccer game of the season at 7 pm in Verona (~35 minutes away)!! Got home at 9:30 pm.
Wednesday (today):
- Asher is at his first real patient clinical day for his CNA training- he had to be there at 5:45 a.m.!! haha. He works/trains 6-2. Welcome to healthcare, buddy.
- I have…. 6 meetings on my calendar for today (🤮) and tonight we have a Senior Parent meeting at Ethan’s school (30 min away) from 6:30-7:30.
Tomorrow, Thursday, we have no plans at night. Hallelujah. This weekend Ethan has far away soccer Saturday morning I’m planning to go to, but besides that, it’s looking quite open.
I think we’ll maybe finally be able to exhale for real. 🙂
Elisabeth phrased it well in a quote recently from the Lord of the Rings: “I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.” 😆 I’ve never heard a more accurate description.
Asher was messing around with Charlie before bed last night and wrapped him all up in the comforter and then left the room. I was puttering around on my phone when after a good 5 minutes I realized Charlie had just…. stayed like that! I looked, and he had fallen fast asleep. 😅
And now I kind of want to go wrap myself up in a comforter like that and just stay like that all day. 😁
(Hahaha, nice try… actually I need to go shower, walk and feed the dog, and get ready for meeting #1 of 6.)
Daily Gratitude:
I am grateful for Dolly Parton! Have to acknowledge her very sad passing away yesterday. We had the best time at Dollywood a couple years ago and I learned so much about her in a couple of the shows we attended. She was so amazing.
GRATEFUL KAE 
No. Nononononononononono!!! I would seriously have had a nervous breakdown with that schedule. For me, working and dealing with my own family is enough. I can maybe go out on one weeknight, but I feel like it throws everything off. I can’t even comprehend going out EVERY SINGLE NIGHT like that. I totally get what you’re saying- it’s family and you love them, and you had a good time. But it’s super hard when people are visiting- because they’re on vacation, but you are working! Plus the whole solar water heater fiasco. We had a series of “mini house tragedies” when we got back from the wedding, but it was nothing compared to MAJOR house tragedies, where you need a HELOC to deal with it (although- we’ve been there too, just not recently). Oof.
Well… glad things are finally calming down. Maybe after work today you can wrap yourself up in the comforter with Charlie ; )
LikeLike
I, too, would have a nervous breakdown with all those late nights and days full of visitors. That’s a lot in a short stretch on top of 2 long vacations, one of which required a lot of planning and logistics! I’d be crying uncle and hiding in the basement! And then to have horribly expensive and messy house repairs on top of all of that!!! The water heater thing sounded so awful and scary!!! I am shaky just thinking about it!
It’s good that Ivan is such an outgoing extrovert. Phil is technically an extrovert but he does not like a jam-packed schedule! He doesn’t want to be alone, but he doesn’t want to be surrounded by a lot of people, especially if we are hosting. It’s kind of a weird dichotomy.
I’ve felt really stressed lately, too, but in a different way. We have way less going on and haven’t hosted people for an extended periods. We did have 3 different sets of people over for dinner in about a 7-10 day stretch which is not typical for us! But that pales in comparison to you. Work for me has been so very busy for me, too, but everything kind of needs to happen when financial markets are open/financial advisors are working. So I work at a frantic pace but I rarely have to work late unless I do a call on the west coast.
I hope you get some sort of a reset/quieter stretch! That’s what this week is for us, although Phil had to work for a bit yesterday to do some trading and the VPN wasn’t working so he was super stressed. He had taken ONE day off this entire year and that’s the day he took his mom to surgery! It’s ridiculous and so unhealthy. But unless we go on vacation, he doesn’t take days off as he thinks ‘well I might as well be working’. So we WILL be taking more vacations next year (Sarasota area in April with my parents and the kids, couples trip to Yosemite in June, annual lake trip to my parents in August).
LikeLike
I completely understand the dichotomy of loving time around family and needing some time to rest/recover. It can be a lot! I’m currently in a lull after hosting family on and off for eight months (at least once/twice a month). It will pick back up here soon so really enjoying the short downtime. It’s amazing how much our bodies and lives adjust to “new normals,” and how much more quickly I can decompress when I only have a short period of time. Thank you for always being so honest — it’s such a rarity in the blog and “influencer” world these days!
LikeLike
Whew is right… you seemed to have had A LOT going on. Besides all the house related issues (eek! So sorry about all the money you’re having to spend on adult stuff!), having family over is FUN and EXHAUSTED at the same time. I feel like that’s especially true when family lives far away and you have to squeeze your quality time into a compressed schedule. I always feel like that. Wouldn’t it be nice if they lived close enough so that you could get together here and there for a few hours, instead of weeks on end? I am hoping you’ll find that kind of rhythm with your parents so close by now 🙂
So sad to hear about Dolly Parton’s passing. She was the kind of person we need more of!
LikeLike
Whew is right! I hope that you have some down time coming your way soon.
LikeLike
I am an extremely extroverted extrovert and reading this made me want to crawl into bed! Interestingly as an extrovert I find sleeping after this type of social interaction difficult — I am too wound up. I know you are an introvert but I wonder if that was part of your sleep problem.
LikeLike
Wow you have been busy! I’m sorry you keep having house issues. Such a bummer.
I prefer only having plans one or two nights a week but I’m also in a busy stretch the last week before school starts. We were visiting family last weekend and are going camping this weekend which doesn’t give a lot of margin. I’m ready to get some quiet days in once the kids are back in school.
LikeLike
How scary is to have an almost explosion at home.
I totally get your feeling of happy satisfied when spending time with family but at same time needing personal space and just chill.
LikeLike