Deep thoughts, Family Fun, Life

A celebratory weekend (*with an unexpected darker turn in the post…*)

This weekend, we celebrated my mom!! She turned 75 on Friday!!

a little blurry but I love this pic!

75 feels “big”. Not gonna lie, 75 also sounds… kinda old. I remember when my parents turned 60, and I thought that while 60 was “older”, it definitely wasn’t old yet. In my mind, I guess I sort of clump 50s-60s into one age group- “older middle age”, maybe?

70 obviously felt older still- that one hit me a bit, too- but 75 now suddenly sounds much closer to 80.

After all these years as a nurse, I also now can’t help but relate age to how I used to think about my patients in the hospital. If I heard, “You have a 75 year old female patient coming into room 12”, I would definitely envision a more elderly person. If I heard that I had a 64 year old patient coming, well, that was a different mental picture. (Important note- my mental picture did not always add up correctly! Obviously, there can be 75 year olds in better physical condition than a 64 year old. It depends!) But still, overall, 75 just sounds rather old to me.

Aging is this very strange thing. My perception on it all changes as I get older, too.

Sometimes I have this weird analogy flash through my head. You know how when you go on a long vacation, and at the beginning you think, Oooh, yes! I still have 2 full weeks ahead of me!! Ahhh, so much time left. And then a few more days go by, but you think, yay, I still have 10 days left! That’s still a lot! And then a few more days go by… and a few more… and eventually you realize, darn, I am at the end of my trip! Time to go home. How’d that happen so fast?!

Well, I sort of feel like that about my parents + aging. I have spent so many years/birthdays thinking, Phew, at least my parents are still only in their 50s! Or 60s! Thank goodness they aren’t “old” yet!

Well, now they’re somehow suddenly 75… Not to be sad and morbid, but it’s hard to not start thinking thoughts like, Crap, we’re kind of getting closer to wrapping up this trip!

I don’t mean that 75 has to be the end of the road. Not at all! (Though I guess for many people, it is, or approximately. 😬) If they both live to 100, they’ll still have 25 years left! That’s not a small amount of time! But everything just starts to feel a bit more tenuous though, I guess. Realistically, it’s not really that common to live to 100…. (Not that any of us are guaranteed tomorrow, anyway, no matter what age we are, so it’s all kind of a weird mental game…. ugh.) It starts to feel like we’re closer to entering “scary territory”, where it’s sort of a waiting game for something bad to eventually happen.

Basically what I’m saying is that I love my parents so incredibly much and I get absolutely PANICKED thinking about the inevitable.

WOW, this post sure went in an unexpected direction. SORRY! (Just noting that I originally titled this post “a celebratory weekend!” and now have written 8 paragraphs about aging and our impending deaths. HAPPY MONDAY! 🤣 (I guess maybe I had a few feelings to unpack there that I hadn’t realized.)


Anyway, let’s change gears to the actual celebration and happy part! My mom turned 75! And she is one darn-good looking 75 year old.

My parents arrived Friday evening, which was 9/12, her actual birthday.

I had a little spread waiting for her when they arrived:

The only negative was that Ethan was at soccer practice and Ivan didn’t get home from work until after 6, so timing was a little tricky for any big celebration that night.

My mom had just requested a simple dinner though – Mexican food! They don’t get to our Mexican place nearly as often as we do, obviously, but she loves it too and is always up for that. Easy enough, and Ethan was able to just meet us downtown then straight from soccer practice.

The guys played “Feliz Cumpleanos a Ti” over the loudspeaker and brought a sombrero for her to wear and everyone in the restaurant cheered. Haha.

After dinner, we went home for presents.

My big gift to her was this Pandora charm bracelet. The blue charm represents her September birthday. The other charm, the heart, is layered- beneath the sparkling heart is a silver heart with the words “There’s no one like you” engraved on it. When I saw that, I knew it was perfect, because that’s just right- there is no one like my mom! At least not to me!

(I failed to take a nice pic of it in the box, but Ivan took this when he went to actually pick it up for me from the store.)

I wanted to get her something really special for her 75th, and this felt just right.

The boys went in together and got her this lovely blue LL Bean sweater:

It fit her just right too, yay! With her blue eyes, blue is a great color on her.

On Saturday, we went back to the Pandora store and she picked out a few additions to the bracelet, this time from my dad. He got the 2 silver “spacers” (necessary to prevent the charms from falling off when you open the bracelet, but they also look pretty, too!) and an engraved charm that says “75” on one side and “SRR” (her initials) on the other.

Complete!

Saturday we also went to Ethan’s soccer game at school. It was at noon, and it was SO HOT out- mid-80s and full sun. We were just dripping sitting still in the bleachers, so I’m sure the boys were roasting. They won 3-0 and it was fun for them to catch a game! (Many of his games are weeknights at 7 pm which can make it tough for them to be around.)

Even though it was super hot, the trees on the school campus were very pretty- just starting to change colors.

Sunday morning my mom accompanied me to buy a few fall mums and pumpkins to do my “outdoor fall decorating” while my dad helped Ivan tear down the remains of the boys’ old swing set/ playhouse. (This was another one of my 2025 goals- to get that thing torn down!! It was starting to rot and was not sell-able or even donate-able, so it just needed to go. It’s now been sawed into pieces, the sandbox sand has all been bagged up, and now we just need Ivan to coordinate with a friend with a pickup truck to come so we can haul it all away. ✅)

My parents headed home by mid-afternoon on Sunday, and I begrudgingly headed outside (in the heat) to finish painting our deck. (I didn’t blog much last week, but you might recall me talking about our chipping deck paint… I repainted all the floor boards last week but still had to do the steps and touch up the railings!)

That is now DONE, thankfully. I really am not a great painter, nor do I particularly enjoy painting! But I’m thrilled to have that off the list, too, so I don’t have to look at chipped paint all winter every time I go out to the hot tub.

While Ivan went to his soccer game at 6, I worked out at home, walked Charlie, poked around online trying to figure out the best way to use my new 89,000 points from my new Chase Sapphire Preferred rewards credit card, and then we watched part of Sunday Night football when Ivan got home.

Charlie at the “treat house”. Haha. HE LOVES THIS HOUSE! The owners must spend a fortune stocking that pail for all the neighborhood doggies. 🙂 so sweet.

Bonus pic from Friday night that my mom took of me and Charlie. Anytime I sit down on the couch, he comes and sits right on my lap. Ha.

And now, on to a new week. I am committed to wearing my Apple watch all week! I have noticed that I am really bad about charging it at a consistent time, so it inevitably ends up dying right as I’m about to head to the gym, for example. Or before my evening walk. Etc. This makes the data not very useful, obviously.

I want to keep a better eye on my overall steps/movement but the averages aren’t accurate if I’m not wearing it half the time! So going forward, I’m going to make sure that I always charge it while I’m in the shower. I figure I can habit-pair it and this should work.

Pic from this morning’s walk. A few more days of this September heat wave with highs in mid-upper 80s, and then I think fall will return later in the week.

Have a great week, all. 🙂

Thoughts on aging? What age sounds “old” to you?? What special gifts have you given or received? Anyone else struggle with keeping their smart watch charged?! lol.

Daily Gratitude:

I am grateful for my mom- and especially that I’ve had her with me for all these years! I know so many other people don’t get this privilege. 💕

17 thoughts on “A celebratory weekend (*with an unexpected darker turn in the post…*)”

  1. Happy birthday to your Mom, Kae! What a milestone! And you’re right that she looks way younger than 75. I would have never guessed her age had I just seen a photo.

    Your point about the mid-seventies bringing up all sorts of realizations about the time we have left with our parents is very, very relatable. My parents are now in their late 70s and as 80 gets closer and closer, I grow more and more aware that our time together is limited. Like you said, hopefully we all still have decades left! But it’s hard not to think about the ticking clock, especially when friends seem to be losing their parents much more frequently. I have a hard time being in the moment, sometimes, because I am so worried about making the most of our moments together. Which obviously defeats the purpose of enjoying out time together!

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  2. Happy birthday to your beautiful mom! A Mexican feast with the people she loves sounds like the best kind of celebration 🙂

    Enjoy the time together and (I know it’s hard) but don’t worry to much about what the future may hold. When the “inevitable” happened with my dad, it was devastating, but I promise that even if we were able to anticipate it, it would not have made it any easier. It taught me to really lean into the moments of joy in life and celebrate them well and deal with heartbreak when it arises, but not before.

    PS: love your mums!! 🙂

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  3. Happy milestone birthday to your mom! I think these same dark thoughts re: 75 both because my mom is also approaching it (she’s at her 55th HS reunion this weekend) and also BECAUSE I AM, TOO. LESS THAN 30 YEARS FOR ME, and that is a VERY SHoRT TIME.

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  4. Happy Birthday to your mom! She has aged very well! Those blonds always seem to. My mom is also a blond and she looks young for her age (she’s 77). I have more gray than she does! Sigh.

    I think “old” for me is probably 80. My parents do not seem old, though. I feel like having my sister at 40 really kept them young. I compare my parents to my MIL who is 82 and there has always been a huge difference in how “old” they seem – like more than 5 years. I don’t know that my MIL has ever mowed her own yard. Until we got married, Phil went out there every week and mowed it for her. She would have been 74 when we got married, and he had probably been doing that for 5+ years at that point. So she was in her early 70s. In contrast, my mom still mows their yard (my dad is not allowed to do it because she is so particular about how it is mowed… Phil mowed it this summer when we were there and I said – wow, you’ve really made an impression on my mom if she let you mow the yard! Ha). Beyond that, my MIL just seems older in general as she’s had more health concerns and her mobility is not great. My dad has had health issues but is still pretty active and my mom is in really good health. Their lives are also very very full with volunteering at church/church groups/etc.

    I would not be surprised if I mom lived to 100 but we’ll see. My grandma lived until almost 101 and I will say there is such a thing as living too long… she was in good health but she was so very lonely since she lost her husband, her siblings, and nearly all of her friends. She was vocal about not aspiring to live to 100… So if my mom lives that long, I hope she’s happier than my grandma was at the end. :/

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  5. Congrats to your mom! As someone who lost both parents by age 39, she has surpassed both of mine and is still hiking some places with you and still driving over for visits and I’m sure many other things!Take it day by day, enjoy every day. It’s hard to know what legislation will do for long-term care or health care, and the thing that helped me the most was directives. Caregiving is like a superpower – you’ll know what to do when the time comes, just like you eventually learned how to parent a baby, and then a toddler, etc.

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  6. I agree with Ahealthyslice– I just lost my dad this year at 72. It’s awful. That sounds young to me to pass. But I’m so thankful for the 34 years I had with him on this earth. Enjoy your time and give your parents a big hug when you see them! It’s such a blessing to have such amazing parents. Your birthday setup for your mom looks really sweet. you are both so lucky to have each other! ❤

    On a lighter note- I am terrible at guessing peoples ages! In my 20s, my pastor (in his late 40s) moved across the country to care for his aging parents. Prior to that, I legitimately thought he was in his 70s! Late 40s sounded soooo old to me then, ha!

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  7. You know I have big feelings about this. It’s so hard to watch parents age and know that the current reality will not last forever. It does feel a bit like having a crystal ball into the future because I know that they will likely not be around for that much longer and oof…that’s so sad and hard.

    That Pandora bracelet is PERFECT! And I love every single one of the charms.

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  8. It looks like a wonderful celebration for your mom, and I love your outfit in the bday pic btw! You both look great. My parents are also 74/75. I feel the passage of time deeply lately, for sure. I’m struck by how much “younger” they seem in pics from even “only” five yrs ago. My dad helped me move a couch up six flights of steps back then! There’s no way he could that right now. And my mom was an avid walker for yrs but can’t really go longer distances anymore. She had a frightening virus two years ago and took a bad fall this past January, both of which took months to recover from. They do stay busy and (knock on wood) are overall doing well right now. I definitely try to appreciate every moment I get with them.

    Re: special gifts, my sister commissioned and gave to my parents a painting of our childhood home that they lived in for 35 yrs and had recently moved out of. It was an incredible gift (despite making several of us sob….) and hangs on the wall of their current home.

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  9. happy birthday to your mom, she’s the same age as mine! 75 is definitely “old” for me, especially when I see how she aged since she turned 70. the inevitable is hard to imagine and I kind of want not to think about it.

    your gift to her is perfect! I didn’t give anything special to my mom because she doesn’t like anything of lately. but we made a cake for her and went to Buenos Aires.

    I just purchased gift for Sofia’s upcoming 13th birthday and pretty happy about it. base noise cancelling headphones.

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  10. Happy Birthday to your mom!!! She looks great, and very healthy. But I know what you mean- these big birthdays really make you stop and think. No matter how healthy you are… no one lives forever. I find the 60-80 year old time range to be unpredictable- I see lots of 65 year olds who look older than an 80 year old, and people in their 80s who seem youthful. Anyway- I’m very glad you’re parents are in good health, and you get to spend a lot of time with them- and they get to spend a lot of time with their grandsons! All you can do is appreciate every moment with them (which I can see you are already doing).

    About your daily gratitude… my mom died when I was 44, and because I had my kids so late, they barely remember her. My daughter wasn’t even two when my mom died, and she doesn’t remember her at all. So sad! So, yes- you have a lot to be grateful for.

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  11. Happy birthday to your mom! You are going to be soooo happy to have all these wonderful travel memories with your parents and your kids together. Watching your family have such great inter-generational travel adventures is inspiring me to invite mine on our next trip 🙂

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  12. Happy birthday, Kae’s mom! You look fabulous!!
    My situation is complex- my parents are 79 and soon to be 80, living very far away, on the other side of the world practically, and my dad is still recovering from his stroke. Some days it’s really, really hard and some days it’s okay. The guilt -for now being there with them- can be crushing. It if I let it engulf me then I would totally end up at a mental facility. So I live with “do what you can, as much as you can, whenever you can”

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  13. Aww, happy birthday to your mom! I have these same dark thoughts and sometimes I can really spiral about it. My mom just turned 60 this year and is in great health, so I just pray I get decades more with her. I think “old” takes on a different meaning as WE age. Like, I definitely used to think anyone in their 60s was old when I was younger, but now that MY mom is 60, it feels so young still! Even people in their 80s sometimes feel/look YOUNG – I mean, most of that is due to cosmetic surgery, lol, but how is Jane Fonda 87 years old??? Wild.

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    1. That’s awesome that your mom is only 60! My parents had us “older” than many in their generation (not older compared to today’s standards, but they were 31 and 33 when they had us, which considering the times and that they got married at 21, was older than average). There were benefits to that for sure, but now means they’re that much older. In theory/if all goes well, when Ethan is my age (41), I should only be 64, versus their 75!

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  14. Happy birthday to your mom! 75 and fabulous!!
    I can relate to everything you sad about your parents and aging. I am very close to my parents as well and they’re also in their mid-seventies now. And although they’re still pretty fit and healthy (like yours!), I am acutely aware that the time with them will get shorter and shorter and it terrifies me, especially since I cannot see them as often as I’d like. But they’ll be visiting in a couple of weeks and I CANNOT WAIT!

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