We had a pretty low key weekend. Since I was away for the swim meet all last weekend, and this upcoming weekend we’ll be traveling, I was happy to just be mostly around home.
I’ll admit I sometimes have thoughts that we are not doing a good enough job of “enjoying summer” or “seizing the days” or “cherishing this time with the boys”. Sometimes I feel like we don’t really DO enough anymore (when not traveling), or have gotten a bit complacent, too routine, ho-hum.
Which maybe sounds crazy to some of you, because I know I do post about us “doing things”, but… well, it’s hard to explain. It’s just a feeling I get.
I think what I mean is that we are not the best at taking advantage of LOCAL, interesting adventures. Like say, going off to a new summer festival on a Saturday, or trying out all the state parks, or going to the zoo, or going biking on a cool trail, or even just going to the farmer’s market, etc.
Obviously we travel pretty regularly, and those are big adventures and that time certainly counts and is great. Then we also have the boys’ activities, which are dwindling some but are still very much there, too, and take up time.
When we are NOT either traveling or doing kid-related stuff, then it always feels like there are “things to do” (house, yard, chores, errands, etc.) And in the spare time after that, well, Ivan has soccer games, and I like to exercise, and then there’s Charlie who needs walking and we need to eat…
I don’t know, it just feels like there isn’t that much extra time anyway, and in the time we do have, then I just get lazy feeling and I don’t even WANT to really go out on some adventure. I feel pretty happy just puttering around home, crossing some things off the to-do list and then just enjoying being home or doing our “usual” things that I like but that aren’t particularly exciting (like, going out to the same place repeatedly for Mexican food or to Chipotle for lunch or walking the same loop in our park).
Is that bad?!
In the whole spirit of the You Only Die Once movement, I want to “do new and exciting and invigorating things”… but then, sometimes, I also kind of don’t. lol.
I know to make things happen, it’s always recommended to plan ahead. You’re more likely to do things that you’ve thought about in advance vs. suddenly think on a 3 pm Saturday afternoon, “Hey, we should go to the County Fair!” and then first look up the hours and the prices and the exhibits and get dressed to go. Yeah, that’s probably not happening for me. Ha.
I think in our case, it’s a couple of issues.
1. Since we are legitimately busy on some weekends, the opposite weekends often feel like “recovery weekends” in my head. (Example- in July so far, of the 4 weekends, I’ve been away from home for 2 of them (4th of July weekend + the swim meet). This means there truly ARE things we “need to do” on the opposite weekends, and we both work all week, making it difficult to do much during the week…
2. Ivan has soccer games in the summer (which are obviously miss-able, but we’re less likely I think to schedule things than if we had wide open days), AND the boys often have their own plans now. Between their jobs (which for both of them are pretty weekend-heavy, even in the summer) and then their plans with friends, if we don’t schedule things far in advance (which I haven’t been), then it’s not too likely we can all just drop everything and spend a whole day at a fair.
I do think maybe this is one of those “seasons of life” things. Maybe this just isn’t exactly our prime “season” for all of that. When the boys were younger, we did go to a lot of zoos and parks and festivals and lakes. Maybe we’re just currently in more of a ying-yang era where we’re either traveling and living it up big time, or we’re…. cleaning out our storage room. 😆Not a lot of in between. LOL. And maybe that’s okay! I’m sure our seasons will continue shifting, too.
(I do think social media amplifies these types of feelings. The newsfeed is LITERALLY a compilation of everyone’s highlight reels. So even if every person did just 1 thing on the weekend, when you put them all together it feels like “oh my gosh everyone is doing such interesting and fun local summer things and all I did was run to Target and get Chipotle.” hahaha.)
Anyway, I think this is something I can keep on my radar but also don’t need to particularly fret about. Since it has repeatedly crossed my mind that perhaps we’ve been a little stagnant lately, maybe we should try and pencil in a few more little adventures here and there. But I also know (from looking back at my monthly recaps!) that we actually DO do quite a bit, too. And- I don’t even know… do I even really want to go to a fair? Maybe if I really did, I would have done it by now. hahaha. 🤣
This weekend!
Well now that that long analysis is over, lol, here’s what we did do this weekend!
Friday night we went out for Mexican food. Ha. Shocking! Asher had to work and Ethan had done lifting + volunteered and he just wanted to stay home.
Saturday morning we attended the annual Students vs. Alumni soccer game at Ethan’s school. The game was at 10:30 and then there was a lunch afterwards (burgers, hot dogs + everyone brought sides and desserts). It would have been great except it intermittently poured rain on and off during the game!!! So, we alternated between watching it and then going and hiding under the bleachers to stay dry.
We did meet a few other parents! It’s a goal of mine to get a little better acquainted with some of the soccer families this year. We’ve been accidentally a little antisocial the last couple seasons… 😬
From there, Ivan headed to his own soccer game and Ethan and I headed home so Ethan could get to work by 2:30. I spent the afternoon just sort of puttering around the house taking care of things and did a LONG very relaxed legs/abs session at the gym. It was nice to not rush.
Asher worked until 8:15, so I picked him up and then after he changed, Ivan turned around and drove him to a friend’s house. He had late movie tickets with friends for the new Fantastic Four Marvel movie and was sleeping over there after.
Then Ivan and I watched a couple episodes of “Anne with an E” on Netflix which I wasn’t sure Ivan would be into, but he totally is! It is literally I think the most delightful show I have watched in ages and I absolutely love it. It is so heartwarming and touching yet also funny- and I absolutely love Anne’s super smart + feisty character (actually all the characters are great). Going back in time is a breath of fresh air, plus the Prince Edward Island scenery and Nova Scotia references are a bonus and I just cannot get enough of it!!! (*I have not actually read Anne of Green Gables, so I can’t compare anything to the books.)
Sunday was also pretty chill. We did some cleaning in the morning, walked Charlie (it was hoooot!!) and ran Asher to work from 12- 5:45. Ethan also worked from 11-5. Ivan took a load of the storage room stuff to Goodwill for me, and then we went out to run some errands, returned a couple Amazon packages at Kohl’s, and stopped at a few shoe stores to look for some new beach type flip flops for me. We also stopped at Chipotle for lunch.
In the evening I went to the gym and took Charlie on a hot, summer evening walk while Ivan was at soccer game #2. The boys had both worked all afternoon so they were kinda just video gaming/ chilling I think. I sat and read my book in the sunroom with tea and the screen door open for a bit at dusk and it was wonderful. When Ivan got home, we watched another Anne with an E episode before bed.
Not the most exciting weekend, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. 🙂
Daily Gratitude:
I am grateful for how sweet and snuggly Charlie is. We just kept saying all weekend, as he’d curl up right in between us, we literally got THE BEST dog we could hope for….He’s like a living and breathing cuddly teddy bear.
GRATEFUL KAE 
My husband and I were just discussing this! We used to be out and about ALL the time when the kids were younger, and up through basically like 2022ish (through covid) – and then it really was like a switch flipped and I think it was just that the older 2 had their own activities and lots of friends, and when we weren’t driving them to/attending their sports/theater/etc stuff, the kids just wanted to chill at home or do stuff with their friends. When they were little, we went bonkers staying at home because the house would become a disaster and they wanted us to entertain them somehow (at least 1 of them – who will remain nameless….. 2 are pretty self-entertaining and have been since birth)… so it was literally easier to go out and do something than it was to stay home. I’m enjoying this phase of life where there is time to be more chill, but I am seeing a little bit that I need to acquire some more hobbies to fill my days because I can be QUITE lazy and will happily sit on the deck and read a book for like 5 hours straight 😛
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Haha! And yes, I really do think a lot of it has to do with the stages and ages of the kids, too. I also am enjoying not “having” to entertain kids anymore. I think since we do travel fairly regularly, I can sometimes forget that there are still other more local things that we can take advantage of, too! I feel like there are so many great things in our area and places I haven’t even been right here close to home, but yet I go off to far away places and try to see/do everything there. Haha. Maybe this can also be sort of an “empty nest” project for us, too! Once the boys are off to school in a few years, I can see us having more time to do that sort of thing also.
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my travel itch has been scratched multiple times for 2024-2025 (thinking academic year). Even in France, we are here for a while so rest days where we only go to a bakery and get groceries- that’s it. I can’t let myself worry about missing things. I implement rest days after the drive days- each time we switch airbnbs, the day after is a rest day. No castles, no museum, an a later wake up, for everyone.
I have a hard time relaxing, but I know there is beauty in the ordinary- i.e. cleaning the pantry.
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Oh, yes- on a long trip like your current one, I think rest days are essential!! Even on our 2 week trips we’ve taken I try to be mindful of building in some downtime. You can’t just go go go for weeks on end!
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I wish we could do less on the weekend and chill at home more but the boys do much better if we have activities – ideally a morning activity and an afternoon activity. If I only have one kid, we can hang at home. But having both home results in so much fighting and wrestling which is so triggering for me.
I have really few memories of “adventures” with my parents when I was an older kid. I think everyone was very busy with work and extra curriculars, etc. As a child, our adventures were our weekend trips to the lake where we had a camper and then eventually a trailer on a campground. Occasionally we would go to the zoo, but mostly we did the same things every weekend and I was happy as a clam. So I would not worry about planning all these adventures unless they are things you are truly interested in doing (Like a state or county fair visit is so unappealing to me!!). I’d love a weekend that included things like Chipotle and Target! We did have a fun family outing to a water park on Saturday afternoon but it’s not common for all 4 of us to go somewhere together because usually Phil will stay back and do some adulting like yard work, cleaning the house, etc.
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You’re right- I totally did fewer of the local outings and adventures with my parents in my teen years, too. I think we still did some things here and there, of course, but I definitely spent more time with friends, working, doing my own things by that point. And I don’t have any negative memories or feelings about it at all! Your waterpark outing looked fun- and very age appropriate with your boys’ ages! And I totally get why you like to keep your weekends scheduled up more. Just wandering around the house is a recipe for bickering, bored kids and annoyed parents. 😉
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I love how honestly you captured that in-between feeling: you think you should be doing more, but you also know that you’re actually doing plenty, and maybe even exactly what’s right for this season.
The “either traveling big or cleaning the storage room” line made me laugh because YES, that is so real.
But honestly, your weekend sounds pretty perfect. Productive, relaxed, good food, sweet dog, and Anne with an E – what a perfect combo!
Oh, and thanks for that link “You Only Die Once” – there’s a whole big rabbit hole for me to dive into!
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Yes, I found the You Only Die Once book to be really thought provoking! It’s a very casual, informal style of writing, and for some reason I don’t totally understand, the author likes to use a good amount of profanity (which seems unnecessary), but if those things don’t bother you, the actual content of the book is really great!! Makes you think about life in a whole new way.
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Hi Kae! I found you through SHU, and I’ve loved following your blog and day to day family life. Thank you for sharing with us. I am in my 40’s with no kids, but a partner and two pets (dog and cat). We also work full-time and travel for work and fun, and I can absolutely relate to the feeling of “on/activity/travel” weekends and “recovery” weekends. Especially as I get older. The reality is that we only have a finite amount of time each day and if you work and commute like I do there is little time for much else! And sometimes…we just need to chill. As a type-A, go-go-go person, this can be hard.
I think you’re right — this too is a season and we have to accept where we are. It’s ok not to do all of the things…although, I feel the same as you, and I have serious FOMO when events are happening in my town and I do not attend. I love seeing how you think about things and wanted to share that even though on the surface our lives are very different I am working through some of the same questions about life!
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Hi Stephanie! Thanks for the nice comment! I’m so glad you enjoy all my random posts and thought dumps! ha 🙂
You hit the nail on the head with the end of your first paragraph… the reality is that work DOES take up a lot of time! I think I wish that what I do with my remaining time weren’t so dependent on my mood/energy. I feel like sometimes I technically HAVE time, but I’m just drained. It depends a lot on what my work day was like, how many meetings, etc. This can get in the way of my “plans”, not only in the evenings, but even sometimes for the weekend. If we’ve had a full/busy week, or I just had an intense work week with way too much talking and stimulation and calls, meetings, etc, then sometimes my original idea of going out and doing a bunch of things on the weekend just no longer really sounds that appealing! I think in the past with my old job, which was much more solitary, I didn’t struggle with this as much.
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This post is giving me all the feels. Let’s bookmark this and have a long in-person convo about in October, okay ❤
I keep coming back to the woman across the room quote. “You know there’s a thing about a woman across the room. You see the woman across the room, you think, she’s so poised, she’s so together. But she looks at you and you are the woman across the room for her.”
I think FOMO is a similar situation.
You do so much! Trips multiples times a year. The boys are super involved in sports and are such dedicated, hard workers that make great grades. You do tons of physical activity with lifting and the gym. From the outside looking in, it would be easy to have serious FOMO observing your life.
It’s hard to not compare and I think we all struggle with wondering if we’re choosing the right activities or how other people seem to fit it all in. And they don’t. Some people never leave their county, let alone the country. Some people don’t have kids or pets or busy jobs. Everyone has to pick and choose what they do and sometimes people pick and choose things we’d like to do but simply can’t fit into our existing schedule.
Being busy and doing X,Y,Z doesn’t make someone superior. We all choose different ways to live life and they’ll equally valid and fulfilling. But it’s hard to see other choices and not feel like maybe we’re neglecting something. But there simply aren’t enough hours in the day!
I guess what I’m trying to say is:
I’ve come a loooooong way in the last few years accepting my personality and what works/doesn’t work in terms of energy outputs and what’s important to me. But I definitely struggle with feeling guilty if all I want to do on a weekend is sit home and read a book and let the kids watch TV.
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Oh, I love this comment so much and you too and I cannot WAIT to unpack the topic more when we see each other!! I so appreciate you bringing that woman across the room quote back- it is seriously so good. And so true!! I am also working toward just accepting me being me and how I am and what I like and how I “operate” without feeling the need to be influenced by what others do/think/say/ etc. I know you don’t use social media and that is probably huge too! I have been keeping it deleted off my phone most of the time for the last couple weeks, and I have to say, I feel like the heat in my brain has just been turned DOWN. Everything feels more peaceful without constantly “checking in” and also that constant comparison reel. (Of course, I did reinstall it for a weekly check in this weekend and then was flooded with posts of people doing all the weekend things so maybe that wasn’t a good idea, because it sort of prompted this post? lol! But it’s weird, because it’s not that I don’t LIKE seeing the fun family things people are doing, either! I am truly HAPPY for people I know and it makes me smile to see people living their best summer lives! But yet it can simultaneously mess with my head sort of?…so it’s a whole weird thing. Ha. I think it’s probably just that format, of the “snippets”, one after another?)
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Oh, and I forgot, I was going to say, too- along this same topic: I sometimes like to think about the little mantra that Gretchen Rubin uses, which is to “be Gretchen”. I think that’s SUCH a good mantra! (Obviously insert own name here 😉 )
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I think it’s definitely at least partially a stage of life thing. When you have little kids it doesn’t work to just lounge around the house all weekend. You have to plan things to do. So it’s different now that the boys have their own jobs and weekend activities- planning fun things is no longer a necessity.
Also- I think you’re naturally an adventurous person who enjoys doing things and meeting people. So it might bother you a little more than others when you just stay home and putter around. I’m definitely more comfortable staying home and puttering- BUT, I do know that feeling when the weekend ends and you feel like you didn’t do anything. On the one hand, we would be exhausted if we ran around every weekend to fairs and festivals (I mean, we do work during the week and have houses to maintain) but on the other hand, this is the one life we get, and do we want to spend the majority of it cleaning out closets??? I really like this post, it’s giving me lots to think about. I think for myself, I need to push myself to plan more mini-adventures.
Your weekend sounds fun to me!
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I have like ZERO minutes to write this comment because we are in summer of activity but I thought this post was SO interesting! I really think it might be kids ages that play the biggest role in how we perceive our “doing stuff” situation? Because I would love to go to copenhagen like you did, but instead I am filling my days with Parks, castles, swimming pools, beach trips… it’s summer but it’s BUSY. But the busyness comes from the fact that we *have* to get out of the house or the “big kids” (6/4) will start sniping at each other and the twins (1) will start to cause chaos and empty every drawer in the kitchen so we go places to avoid the chaos. If staying at home was an option I would definitely want to do that far more than I currently do…
I always think about your posts because they’re like a little mirror into the future of bigger kids! I can see how it’s going to go quickly, even though the days are sometimes verrrrry slow.
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I can totally relate to this because there are just so many weekends where the time passes and I feel like I didn’t do anything FUN or even particularly productive. But then there are weekends that are so busy with social plans, and yeah, it almost feels like I need the low-key weekends to be the ones where I just enjoy the space to DO NOTHING. Gah. It’s hard to find the right balance!
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IT IS NOT BAD. I do get the feeling sometimes that we “should do more”, but then Jon is a complete homebody and I very much like puttering at home on the weekends, too, so why force it?
I think you guys do PLENTY and isn’t it nice that you like your home that you’re not trying to flee it every minute of the weekend? 🙂
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Thanks San! I know, it feels silly when I say it out loud, but then sometimes I still have a hard time shaking that feeling for some reason!
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