We’re down to the final stretch of the school year already. WHAT?!??!
Ethan gets done in less than 2 weeks!! AP exams are this week, then one more week of classes before finals May 19-21.
This summer, Ethan’s main plans are:
- working (he just got a new job at Panera)
- daily lifting/conditioning at school (I believe he’s signed up for the 9-10:30 am session)
- volunteering (the soccer club he volunteers with runs free camps over the summer, so he will coach at those, plus he volunteers at a local senior day center)
- captain’s practices (i.e. preseason practices) for soccer sometimes
- probably golfing with his friends + playing video games
The boys alternate cutting our grass, and I may need to enlist him to help drive Asher around a little bit…
Asher’s school doesn’t get out until June 12. Still down to just 1 month though!
Asher’s summer plans are:
- lifeguard a lot. He has 2 jobs (current job= high school pools; will add on the Family Aquatic Center (outdoor community pool) when it opens
- golf as much as possible
- fish as much as possible
- earn as much money as possible to support his expensive hobbies. (He just bought new golf clubs, but still needs a new driver,, I think? Also is eyeing an $$$ new fishing reel….He always seems to have a long list of “needs”. 🙄 Not to mention golfing 3x/week or more is very expensive?! We are still trying to figure out how to balance all of this. Yes, it’s his money (mostly) and fortunately lifeguarding pays very well, but I also don’t want him thinking it’s okay to just spend…and spend…and spend, either! He’s also going on an expensive weeklong swim training trip to Virginia Beach in June- that thus far, we are apparently paying for in full. But he already went to Florida with his swim team a couple years ago (these trips are optional); do I need to foot the entire bill for another fun swim trip while he flits money away on the golf course 4x a week?? Hmmm. I just paid almost $300 for him to get certified as a lifeguard, and another almost $500 for all his driver’s ed stuff plus he has a mouthful of braces on. Yes, I realize paying for my kids’ stuff is part of life, but we also think he’s old enough to find out that- hey, things cost money and guess what, that money doesn’t grow on a tree.
- swim team (probably will swim ~4-5x/ week)
- the Virginia Beach trip with swim team
- hopefully do some lifting in the gym?
- cut the grass/ help with some chores (see $$ discussion above… 😉 )
- possibly some open gyms for volleyball? I think the jury is still out if he is going to play VB again in the fall, or just double down on swim. Not sure!
- Asher has suddenly not been super into video games lately (praise Jesus!), but I’m sure maybe there will be a little of that too?
We have a week in Copenhagen in June and a week in Panama City Beach, Florida planned in early August (–> cannot wait for this!! I am craaaaaving a sit back, relax, and stare at the ocean trip SO BAD).
Biggest anticipated challenge: getting Asher places during the work day. He does not have his license yet, and it seems like he will have a lot of “driving needs” at random times.
Biggest anticipated bonus: the boys are old enough to basically manage themselves, otherwise!
I was at the gym last night, and I happened to see a kid from Asher’s swim team. A senior, who wrapped up his senior season in March, but is not continuing on to swim in college. I believe he joined the golf team this spring, so he’s just totally DONE with swimming now.
It feels so…. weird! I got thinking about that. There are several seniors who I had seen in the pool for years and years– since they were tiny 7 or 8 year olds! And poof, just like that- they’re done. All those practices, trainings, meets…. history.
It made me sad! There are a handful of kids from his team who are going on to swim in college. But for most, it’s the end of the road. Of course they will always be good swimmers, and they can go swim laps or whatever. But this HUGE chapter of their life is otherwise just over.
It goes too fast!!
If Ethan doesn’t play soccer in college (not ruling it out, but also not exactly forefront of his plans right now, either), he has exactly 2 high school seasons left. TWO! That’s it. He started playing soccer when he was 2. It’s crazy.
Asher is down to just 3 years left of swimming, unless he swims in college.
These sports are such a big part of these kids’ identities, and so intertwined in their lives… (and their parents’ lives!). It’s just hard to wrap my head around it all ending, I guess. Made me feel a little sad. 😓
Daily Gratitude:
I am grateful for walking a new little “add-on” route with Charlie this week. The back of our neighborhood has a whole new section with a new path and bridge. We walked it the other night and saw several deer! It was so pretty and peaceful.
GRATEFUL KAE 
I know, Kae- I feel the same way about music. So many kids go through the band program and love it so much- it’s a huge part of their high school experience. And then they go to college and stop playing! I mean, I get it- it’s a time commitment and sometimes just not feasible. I guess it’s a real luxury when you’re in high school- you can devote so much time and energy to something that’s really just a hobby, and then once you hit the “real world” it changes. Definitely sad.
I think both your kids are doing great with all their activities, volunteer gigs AND jobs. Yes, Asher has expensive hobbies, but for the most part he’s not asking you to pay for them. But I think, if anything, I’m too lenient about things like this so you probably shouldn’t listen to me ; )
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Yes, I have had that thought before- I miss when I could do sports and music and it was all just built into my life so naturally! Now as adults we have to squeeze those things into the margins it seems…. we didn’t know how good we had it!
I think it gets complicated to think about the money thing! On the one hand, I expect to pay for many/most things yet at this point. But, like I said, there also have to be some limits! Especially if he’s working…. Like I would never expect him to just pay for his swim team registration or meet fees, or just you know, regular expenses. But when it comes to his “spending money”, I guess I feel less inclined to be a limitless ATM- I mean, he has a job! Especially when he’s wanting to do a lot and spend a lot!
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Kae! My kids are also golfers, and we get them the Madison parks junior pass– only $300 for the whole year to use at all 5 public courses. The summer pass is even cheaper– maybe an option? Maybe your burb has something similar– Middleton sells a pretty cheap junior pass to Pleasant View, so I would not be surprised…
(also harry and Jack both guard, too– it’s a great summer job!)
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Ooh thanks, I’ll have to check that out! The thing is, some of his friends got a membership for Christmas for the nearby local one here in SP, Prairie Pines, which is owned by the Prairie Athletic Club. It was on some big sale over the holidays, but we didn’t act on it at the time. Now it’s over like $750 for a membership at this point- but he’s already paid out of pocket a bunch of times, so it seems silly to get the membership. I think, too, with the weeks he’ll be away and working, he might not even have as much time as he thinks to really make the membership a $ advantage over just paying as he goes. Next year we’ll make sure to do that for sure though!
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You should read It.Goes.So.Fast by Mary Louise Kelly from NPR. It’s about her oldest’s last year of high school and has all the feelings in it. I thoroughly enjoyed it and have recommended it to others.
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Thanks, I’ll check that out! Sounds like it would make me cry though. lol!
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Wow your boys’ school schedules are so different! Paul’s school gets out a week earlier this year. They got out at the end of the 2nd week of June last year. But this year they extended the school day by 15 minutes so they could get out a week earlier. I guess it saves the district money or something? He goes right from school to the full-time care program at school so it didn’t really make any difference to us!
It sounds like you have a spender and a saver! It will be interesting to see how our boys turn out. So far, Paul seems like a saver. It’s way too early to tell with Will.
I participated the least in sports out of most of my siblings but am one of the most active people in my family – besides my sister who works out a ton. But my brothers that were very into football, etc do not really exercise. But if your love is all about the sport, like football, it’s hard to continue that into adult life. Whereas I never liked/was good at team sports, but was drawn to running which is very easy to continue to do as an adult.
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Yup, you nailed it, Lisa! Definitely 1 saver, 1 spender by tendency for SURE. ha.
That’s nice that you’ll have a nice smooth transition from school to the summer program. Makes it so easy!!
Last year we were in Hawaii for the first 2 weeks of June, so I’m actually glad we’ll be around a bit more this June. We’ll just have the one week away. I like June here in WI typically. Weather is nice, trees and plants etc are nice looking and not all over grown and bugs aren’t usually at their worst yet!
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The financial considerations of Asher’s hobbies are so interesting to read. It does seem like there should be some sort of balance between supporting your kids and spending ALL the money, especially if they have jobs. We haven’t gotten there with my kid yet, but I could definitely see how it could become frustrating if we continue to pay for lessons/equipment/etc while she spends her dog sitting money on fun things! Such an interesting aspect of parenting I had never really considered before.
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Yes, it is a complex topic! Like I said above, it’s not that I expect that because they have jobs, they now have to “support themselves” or anything like that at all! But it seems reasonable that they can start contributing at least partial amounts to things that are more “extra”. I don’t really think I need to just hand over $100/week for Asher to go play golf with his friends, you know? I don’t know, if he were signing up for a package of golf lessons for a summer activity, that feels different. But this is like, optional social time, mostly. Just like if he wants to eat at Culver’s 3x/ week in the summer with friends at $10 a time, I don’t really think I need to fully foot that bill. I buy groceries, we take them out and pay for meals as a family, etc! That’s HIS choice to go buy the extra food out- he can (mostly) pay!
For the swim trip, there was a fundraising option, but we didn’t end up participating. Eh, seemed like a hassle and it seemed like it was going to fall on me to do a lot of it. I’d rather just pay. lol. But I do know some families were making their kids pay for a portion of the trip! I think because it’s definitely just an “extra”- not for a meet or anything even, it’s just a training/social trip, basically… (Also, there are a lot of things like this these days! We’ve already sent Asher to D.C. on a plane with school, he’s flown to Florida with swim, and now this one to Virginia Beach. It’s great! But we also travel a lot as a family and it does add up fast!)
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Yes, the last game/meet is bittersweet. I have experienced this and am sad for other parents when I witness it. BUT your time expands greatly once the nest is empty and it is kind of a thrill to be selfish with your time without any guilt. I have 3 boys in college and feel busier than ever doing a lot of new things (concerts, races, trips) and reconnecting with people.
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i can relate ending their swimming season. Sad and anticipated nostalgia. Fortunately girls have few more years.
Your summer plan sounds great!
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I am really glad you’re talking about the expense part of having older kids – what do you pay for, and what is their responsibility now? It’s wild when I see how much parents still pay for their (adult!) kids stuff. I dated someone who always expected her parents to pay for her meal when they went out to eat and I’m like… my mom never pays for me! Every once in a while she will, but I don’t expect her to foot the bill every time we go out to eat (especially since it happens FREQUENTLY, lol). And even as a child, my mom couldn’t afford to spend the money on a lot of optional purchases, and while I think it’s great when parents can help out in this way, I also think it’s a good time to give kids that responsibility of understanding how much things cost, what to save/spend, etc.
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