2025 Goals: Kids/Family

TGIF, ya’ll…. this was my first full week of work in a bit due to the holidays/vacation days, and let’s just say, it came to PLAY. 😳

But I want to keep going in my goals series! The 3rd domain is next: Kids/Family.

1. Spend a minimum of 1x/ week quality time with each of the boys.

On the surface, I feel like this sounds horrible. “You’re aiming to spend some quality time with each of your children just once a week?!”

Well, yes, sort of? For anyone new around here, lol, the boys are 15 and 16. They’re at school all week. I work all week. Asher has swim practice every night, Ethan’s not in a sport at the moment but often stays after school to lift with friends (and he has a fall + spring sport…), they have schoolwork, they both have jobs, and their “free time” tends to mostly involve spending time with their FRIENDS (either online with them or in person, both of which seem very appropriate at their ages).

This is not the same season of life as when they were 5 and 6 and Mommy was the coolest person to be with 24/7! Nor do they “need me” in the same ways as a little one does.

But obviously it’s still important for us to have family time together, and of course teens still need their parents, just in other ways. Given this current stage though, I have to be more intentional about it, or sadly, it can be really easy to end up like ships passing in the night.

Don’t get me wrong- I feel like we have overall great relationships with the boys and I do feel like we’re “connected”. I just want to make sure to keep seeking out specific opportunities to keep connecting.

So, in the spirit of keeping the bar low + attainable, my goal is to carve out at least 1x/ week of some “quality time” together besides the typical chatting before school/ evenings, car rides, eating at home, etc.

It doesn’t have to be a lot! Quality > Quantity. Could just be a 1:1 walk with Charlie. Going in the hot tub together. A dinner out. Even solo time running a couple errands together, or going out driving with Asher with a hot chocolate stop would count.

But like I said, our weeks are pretty hectic right now, so this is not actually as easy as it sounds sometimes.

How I’ll Track:

I made a line on my Habit Tracker called “Kids Quality”; put an X on a day we had dedicated “quality time”. Will keep an eye that in each week I see at least 1-2 Xs!

Last week we all went to a movie on New Years Day together (The Fire Inside). (By the way, this was a GREAT movie!! Highly recommend. So inspirational and great for tweens/teens. It’s about teenage boxing phenom Clarissa Shields who came from a rough home life in Flint, Michigan and overcame all the odds via a TON of hard work and perseverance to become the 1st American woman to win the gold medal in boxing at the 2012 London Olympic games. If you have kids in sports, I’d especially recommend, as it really drives home the whole “you get out what you put in” message.)

This week, however, has been a little rough. I have felt “involved” with Asher because I volunteered at his swim team pasta dinner Tuesday night (including spending $37 on 4 gallons of milk and like 6 lbs. of fruit to contribute for the whole team) and went to his swim meet last night…. but I haven’t actually been with him too much. But, Ethan and I went out for breakfast yesterday morning early before school! So that was fun. Hopefully can get some more Asher time this weekend. 🙂

2. Read with the boys 100 times this year.

Along the same vein… Obviously, they are long past “story time”, lol. But I can usually convince one or both of them to join me to read before bed for 10-15 minutes, IF I remember to ask. Sometimes they’ll be hooked up w/ friends online or doing something else and resist my invite, but they seem to like propping up with my oversized toss pillows on my bed with a cozy blanket and reading for a bit.

They currently read a fraction of what they used to when they were little. (They used to read NON-STOP. 24/7.) It kind of kills me, but also trying to remember the whole “ages and stages” thing. I was also a huge reader in the elementary/middle school years, but I do know that I also read way less in high school (besides school reading, of course).

I feel like this goal is low-key enough to be realistic, but will keep the reading thing churning along in the background. I know they both have some good books on deck, so I think this might also help remind them that, hey, oh yeah, I actually really do like to read good books… Bonus: helps get me to my Read 25 in 25 goal!

How I’ll Track:

The usual. My habit tracker. 🙂 I also printed a 100x check off sheet.

So far we have 2x this year. (Took pic before filling out). 100x in the year averages less than 2 times a week, so again, it feels like we should be able to hopefully surpass this goal!

3. Have each boy make 5 meals this year.

I’ve had it on my goals list for the last few years to get the boys cooking more. In part for “fun”, but mostly because it’s a LIFE SKILL!! They need to know how to do stuff and I will be damned if it’s my boys one day who look pathetically at their wives and shrug and say, Sorry honey, can’t help with dinner, I don’t know how. 😡

I won’t call them out, but one is a bit more naturally inclined to try cooking, and the other is more naturally inclined to heat water, dump it in an instant ramen cup and call it “cooked”. LOL.

I have struggled to meet this goal in the past, though! I think in part because it was not quite well-enough defined. I also aimed too high, I think. (Can’t remember, but I may have aimed for like, once a week? Unrealistic!!!)

What I really want is for them to do the whole thing, not just jump in and help me for a few minutes. So, I’m envisioning having them find a recipe that sounds appealing to them and then do the WHOLE process, start to finish.

This will require some planning, for sure, and time. So, 5x in the year, while it maybe sounds low, feels like plenty to start with.

How I’ll Track:

I made a row in my Habit Tracker called “Boys cook”. Also added slots in my Google Tasks Goals list to fill out the date and what they cooked.

4. Try 5 new restaurants with Ivan.

Keeping low bar the theme, I decided specifically to NOT go for my first instinct which was “1x new restaurant monthly”. We basically love to go out for Mexican at the same place on Fridays and really have no desire to switch this up.

But there are places that I’d like to try! However, in reality, I know us, and on Friday nights we’re usually feeling kinda old, kinda tired, kinda lazy, and just want to go to our same comfort place and decompress. lol. (Side note: sounds like the owners may be SELLING it!!! They have expanded to several other restaurants recently (more quick service Mexican grill places, sort of like Chipotle style?) and this original sit-down location we go to is the most “hassle” for them, so they want to get rid of it. 😭 But, Ivan sort of knows the guy who is planning to buy it, and we think they are going to keep it pretty much the same? Hopefully? Would be so sad for us if it ended up just closing.)

Anyway, these new restaurant dates will likely be at other times, or in addition to our Friday nights, not in place of. Therefore, 5 feels good for now.

How I’ll Track:

For this one I did the same as for the Boys Cook category, and just listed “Try 5 new restaurants with Ivan” and will fill it in.

5. Make breakfast for the boys 2x/ week.

The boys have staggered start times for school. Ethan needs to be out the door by 7 a.m. to drive to school, whereas Asher is still in bed at that time and doesn’t leave for the bus until 8:15. Mix in walking Charlie and my own need to get ready for the day and start work, and I’m not always “available” for BOTH of them every single morning.

Both boys are perfectly capable of serving themselves a quick breakfast, although I will note that apparently they are Lazy and if no one serves them, they are much more likely to either just not eat…. or eat a very minimal grab-and-go style, more unbalanced breakfast.

I want to make a proper breakfast for them at least twice a week. Depending on the week, sometimes I can be there every day! Other weeks, I can’t. But twice a week as a minimum goal feels fair – and if nothing else, hey, at least it ensures they’re eating a good breakfast a couple times a week.

I especially like the 6:45-7:00 a.m. window while Ethan gets ready. We’re the only two up at that time (well, Ivan gets up around then but heads straight for shower), I put the local news on, unload the dishwasher usually while he eats and we catch up a little. It’s a nice, albeit quick, connection point in the day.

Again, somedays I have early meetings or other obligations and need to just get myself going and just can’t make it work. But when this fits in, it’s a win all around.

And that’s it for this domain of my 2025 Goals! It leans heavier to the kids than Ivan, but honestly, at this point, it’s a lot more “default” that I’m spending time with Ivan versus the boys lately. So I think it’s okay. 🙂

I have 2 left…. Household and Other.

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A few misc. pics from the week:

Asher’s swim meet last night:

Charlie at ~7 a.m. when Ivan had just gotten up and I went in and turned a light on:

“What are you guys doing up?!?! It.is.still.dark.out!!!!” 😆😆 #lazypuppy

Proof of one of my 2 salads this week:

Winter mode:

Looking forward to the weekend. Asher has a swim invitational meet tomorrow most of the day, but it should be fun. Hoping to get some things done, get some workouts in, and hopefully relax some, too.

Daily Gratitude:

I am grateful for Hoda Kotb! Lol. Today was her last day on the Today show, apparently after 17 years. I have always liked her. I’ve turned the Today Show on every morning for as long as I can remember while I putter around the house, and I have always found Hoda to be particularly delightful. I will really miss her light, friendly and positive attitude and her great sense of humor!