Thanks to anyone who read my epistle of a life update the other day. LOL.
Things are slowly feeling a little more “normal” this week, but I think I have come to understand that summertime is always going to feel sort of like a hot mess for me.
The reality is just that with the kids home, doing various activities/work (but no longer in all day camps or childcare, obviously), the days just feel chaotic. We have no real consistent structure, unless you count inconsistent structure-structure.
I guess it’s fine. I can’t really think of how to change it, anyway. The big issue is just that the boys need rides places at various times, which when cumulatively added up, eats up any margin that ever existed in my work days.
I suppose I could hire someone to drive them around, but they don’t have that many places to go (most days), so it would be very awkward to figure out. Besides, the part of my budget that I want to devote to “Kids” (school, activities, etc.) is basically already maxed out.
BUT, I do need to get my act back together now. The super crazy part of summer for us (the part that just passed, w/ vacation + family etc.) has mostly ended.
I’m now sort of just riding the Excuse Train a little bit, I think. You know the one? Where you’re like, Oh, jeez, things have been nuts. I need to just allow myself a minute to recoup.
Except then you keep saying that, day after day, and continue to not prioritize healthy meals and getting back to the gym or doing your other daily habits. “Yes, tomorrow- back in the saddle!” “Er, sorry- tomorrow tomorrow.” 😉
Yesterday I didn’t have time to go to the gym during the day at all (an ongoing problem especially during the summer, see above), so I had planned to go in the evening. Well, evening came and guess what??? I didn’t feel like it. Not one iota.
But I had time, it was only 7 p.m., and well, I needed to go. I asked Asher to join me (strength in numbers, lol!) and at first he also was kind of like, ehhhh…..I don’t know….(but ultimately agreed; he’s been slacking in the gym too lately and in my same boat I think).
I was still hemming and hawing (it was SO nice outside! The idea of sitting on the deck with my book for a bit was looking really good). But finally I decided that darn it, I said I was going to go, so I was going.
I marched down the hall to change into my gym clothes, and very loudly proclaimed, determinedly, “I am a woman of my word!!!“
And Ivan snorted laughter in my direction and said, “Yeah. Suure.” 😂
It made us all laugh, because the reality is, lately I have not really been a “woman of my word”. (And, it just sounded kind of silly and ridiculous, the way I said it. hahaha.)
I feel like as I get older, I have been less and less a woman of my word, and I do not like it! Is it like willpower? You know how they say as the day progresses, our capacity for willpower steadily decreases? Is it that way as you get older, too?? 🤔
Anyway, I went to the gym.
And I kind of like that silly mantra! I was thinking about it while I was working out.
“I am a woman of my word.” It makes me giggle inside a little, which is kind of perfect, because if you haven’t noticed, I enjoy humor. Yet it still feels inspiring to me. It can apply to so many different scenarios in life. It equals integrity, I think. Doing what you said you would. Per the dictionary, “the state of being whole and undivided”.
I like it. 🙂
Daily Gratitude:
I am grateful for *maybe* some improvement in my back issues?? I have been consistently going to chiropractor 2x/week and doing my prescribed home exercises. Maybe seeing some movement in the right direction, I think?
GRATEFUL KAE 
Hee hee. I can totally envision this scenario and Ivan laughing at you. But good for you! You were a woman of your word! Summer sounds super tricky but school is just around the corner and you’ll get your routines back. It’s tough to always be disciplined, women of our word. My workouts have been a bit better and more consistent lately but my eating has been so so. It’s mostly good but it’s tough when traveling as I go super long between meals (like yesterday I went from 6:30a to 2p and then I was famished at 2 and jammed a salad down my throat before our 2:30 meeting and then had dinner with kyria around 4:30). So I just feel very odd in general and I was nauseous during the car rides yesterday, I think because of the empty stomach. We have 6 meetings today so I need to buy some snacks so that doesn’t happen again although at least today we have a lunch meeting so I won’t go super long without eating.
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Ugh, I can totally see how all the traveling really messes with your eating schedule!! It’s one thing if it’s now and then, but you travel for work so often…. You probably are eating better than you think. It’s a good sign you scarfed down a salad when famished! I probably would have reached for something much unhealthier, haha!
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Well I had a Rice Krispie bar for part of my breakfast this morning since it was one of the few GF foods at Starbucks! So it’s not all good eating. 😉 But I have been getting so nauseated and kind of car sick on this trip because I have had an empty stomach much of the time. Like today I don’t think I will have a chance to eat until I get to the airport at 2:30. I wish I was one of those people who could go hours without eating and feel fine but it throws me off since I usually eat every 2-3 hours when I’m home! Like yogurt as a snack, lunch 2 hours later, popcorn 2 hours later, etc. but I def need a break from traveling!!
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Love this!
I 100% agree that summers make me feel like a hot mess (it’s ironic you posted this today, because I was giving myself a pep talk this morning telling myself that I’m not doing anything “wrong” right now…this is just how summer impacts my life!). Everything is more chaotic. The house is always messy. The laundry builds up. There is just so much running around and lack of routine (even with lots of things scheduled in, it’s just not the same as a school/work Monday-Friday rhythm of the regular year). And lots of fun things – we went to the movies last night, we go to the beach. But it’s just…a mess!!
So I feel you and great work going to the gym. I just got back from a walk in the rain which made me feel very virtuous (sadly, this was my first real exercise in a week, though…)! Exercise/reading/housework – these all slide every summer and likely will for the foreseeable future/until both kids can drive?!
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Exactly! I think I’m finally learning to just make peace with this (sort of). I may be kind of in the home stretch, since at least in ~1 year I will have another driver in the house! (Eek!) (Ethan has his temps now but can’t drive anywhere alone of course until he turns 16 in a year.)
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Good for you for going!! This really rings true with me in my current stage of chaos: “Except then you keep saying that, day after day, and continue to not prioritize healthy meals and getting back to the gym or doing your other daily habits. “Yes, tomorrow- back in the saddle!” “Er, sorry- tomorrow tomorrow.” ” I am doing this EXACT THING and it is so hard to get out of the habit of NOT doing the things you need to do. Inertia is a powerful beast!
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I know….WHY?????? Like seriously, why is it so easy to slide into bad habits and not the other way around?!?!
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Sometimes I just put on m workout clothes and hope that the inspiration will strike me to actually exercise. I am not a woman of word, necessarily, but I try to be a woman of my clothing!
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I hear this! Actually, this kind of may play a role. Previously, my job had much fewer meetings/ basically never had to be on camera. The role has evolved over the past year or so, so now I DO have frequent meetings and need to be showered, presentable, dressed nicely, etc. I used to often just wear workout clothes basically all day while I worked (I have mixed feelings about this- kind of makes me feel a little “slouchy”…), but I did really like that at any given moment I could head out for a quick walk break, or squeeze in a 20 minute workout in my office even. Now there’s usually that additional barrier of not wanting to get sweaty/ mess up my face or hair, lol, PLUS I’m often in “real clothes” more often…so the whole “having to change clothes” thing can feel ridiculously unsurmountable. hahaha.
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I SO feel the “summer is a hot mess” situation. My kids go to year-round school so today is their first day back and I’m beyond thrilled to finally have them out of the house and back into our school year routine. I absolutely need routines for my mental health and summer/long breaks like xmas are always a struggle since I WFH full time with flexible hours but don’t have much PTO. I find I can’t really enjoy summer and that bums me out.
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I know what you mean. When I was young, my mom was a teacher and had summers off. I never realized how lucky we were!! We never had to be stuck in camps or daycare all day bc my mom was home, so we could have this nice balance of downtime at home playing outside, etc and also she would frequently take us out to the zoo, the park, a pool, etc. It was so wonderful and relaxing and I know she really loved that time with us. Also, she would always tackle big projects in the summertime too, like cleaning out storage closets or deep cleaning the kitchen cabinets etc. Stuff she never had time for during the school year. I have no desire to be a teacher, but man, I do wish I had the summers off!! Because I totally agree that summers while working FT can really feel sort of the worst of both worlds- hectic/crazy and not really able to fully enjoy the season…
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It’s so, so hard after a vacation or time off or what have you to get back into your routine, but I find that the sooner I do it (preferably the day after my return), the better off I am … procrastination is real when you let it drag on! 😉 I chuckled about Ivan laughing at your proclamation… haha:)
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YES you are spot on. It really should be an IMMEDIATE return. I have done this in the past and it is much, much easier than dragging your feet…
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Late with my comment. I absolutely love your new mantra. I will try to adopt it for myself (with your permission). I have given up on my “golden hour” while traveling… And that makes me feel sad… and unaccomplished!
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oh my gosh, PLEASE adopt it!! We can be women of our words together!!! 😉 (But p.s., don’t feel bad about giving up your golden hour while you are away. I think that’s just normal! Just make sure to get back to it when you get home. 🙂
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Good for you for getting it done! Sometimes getting out the door is the hardest part. I am with Engie; sometimes I just have to put on the clothes and shoes and think about it for a minute and maybe just tell myself (aka try to fool myself) that I am just going to at least walk around the block and then I have to convince myself that I will do 10 more minutes and a few push ups and etc…. before I know it, I have worked out for an hour. But it is hard sometimes!
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Totally!! I’m the same way that once I get going, I’m usually ok. Although sometimes I do find that when I go to the gym later in the evening, I will be sitting at a machine between sets and YAWWWWWNING…. hahaha. I always think people around me are probably wondering why this sleepy lady is at the gym. haha.
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I laughed when reading Ivan’s comment hahahaha…. Sometimes it’s just a split of second to make the decision. 🙂
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Yup. I just have to not overthink it and GO.
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Well, I’m impressed. I NEVER want to work out after work, much less at 7 pm. My son is trying to convince me that evening would be a good time to go to the gym once school, starts, and I just have to laugh- that would be the WORST plan in the world.
At first I thought you were being too hard on yourself- i mean you just got back from a cruise and all that time with family- but then I know how “cutting yourself some slack” can just get out of control. It’s easier to stay in a routine than to get out of it and have to get back in. But it sounds like you’re back now, and also you deserve credit for being consistent with the chiro and exercises! I’m glad your back is starting to feel better.
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What time of day do you usually work out again?? I would MUCH prefer to work out during the day- not super early, but not late, either. Damn job always getting in the way of my life though!!! lol!!
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