My mom brought me a box of my old cello music last weekend, to see if there was anything in there I wanted to keep. It was a little trip down memory lane, seeing pieces I had played with my string quartet in high school, or songs I played for competitions. 🙂
Anyway, there were some other random items in the box from my youth. One was an old notebook which I totally remember having…it was a spiral that I got from the clothing store “Limited Too”. Anyone remember that place? I think all The Limited stores have closed a long time ago now.
I flipped through the notebook and found this:
I figured out this would have been from I think August 29th, 1996, right before the start of the new school year. I would have been 12 years old, almost 13, starting 8th grade.
It just cracked me up to see that I was making to-do lists in notebooks even back then!! I guess I don’t really remember doing that kind of thing.
I do remember really enjoying writing things in my assignment notebooks (“Read pgs. 25-36 and answer questions by Wednesday”.) Sometimes I think I wrote things down that I already did in class, just so I could mark it off. 😆😆
Okay, now for a hopefully quick question:
I have this ongoing mystery that bugs me.
So, I’m back at the gym. And I mentioned, I see people at the gym, which is nice, overall. But I have noticed something odd that kind of bothers me. Maybe you can help?
I’ve been going to the weight room for many years now. You tend to see many of the same people, obviously, who also lift weights regularly. Many of these people are men, of course, since traditionally speaking, men tend to be a bit more into strength training.
The men are always very nice. I don’t know all of them, but I can think of a bunch that I am friendly with. They say hi, nod/ smile/wave, or occasionally make small talk. (Not in a creepy, like, “how you doin’, baby 😉” way. Just in a normal, adult, friendly, “how’s the family” way.)
The women that I regularly see there, however, are, I swear to God, SO UNFRIENDLY. There are some that I have seen a zillion times before. I know they recognize me!! It’s impossible that they don’t. And they seem to purposefully make no eye contact or even acknowledge me (like last week, this one woman literally turned her head away as I walked by and was looking right at her).
It is so weird!!!!! (And some of these women I have actually had occasion to speak to in the past, briefly, so it’s not like we are total strangers.)
I’m not looking to make new BFFs in the gym, anyway, so I don’t honestly care that much. And I know people are there to work out (I am too! It’s not like I want to sit and talk. And I don’t think you need to smile every time you pass someone during an hour long workout. But not even once to acknowledge your presence, if you are literally standing right next to each other?)
It just strikes me as odd, and kind of awkward/uncomfortable, and I can’t figure it out. I know that I am friendly!!! I am definitely the smile/nod type, so I swear it’s not me. I will always glance/smile at people I know and recognize as I walk by, so it’s not like I’m the one ignoring them.
Or…. is it me?? 😂🤷♀️
But again- this is ONLY the case with the women. The men are all totally nice! And normal acting. (But as I said, not like, creepy nice. Just regular nice.)
Any thoughts?? 🤔
Daily Gratitude:
I am grateful for candles.
GRATEFUL KAE 
Hahaha can’t believe you had note books and to-do lists back then!! That is so YOU!
Only thing I can think of with the gym problem is that other women might be intimidated by you. Personally, I don’t like working out in the weight room because I compare myself to everyone else there (I know this is a ME problem, and i’m a guy) but maybe the same thing is happening with women when they see you working out regularly?
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Well, I can see what you’re saying… but I don’t know.. I would feel I could be intimidating if I looked like Wonder Woman or something, not the 38 year old mom of 2 that I am!! 😂 But I do totally know the feeling of feeling somewhat out of place/uncomfortable in the weight room- I definitely used to feel like that too. (Occasionally still do, if trying something new!) You should keep trying it though! Lifting is good for you. 🙂
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I find that in the workplace, I get along better with men than women, and the only thing that’s saved me from insecurity is to get in their headspace, usually with what they are juggling. Like, I can see my boss is having trouble with her twins but she’s here at the gym to rage it out.
Personally at the gym, I am in the ZONE. I can give you three examples: A very dear friend of mine said hello in the locker room and I didn’t recognize her because of her mask, lol. In my 20s, my neighbors went to the same gym before I knew them well and always said hello first, because I was deep in thought! And, I took a BodyPump class probably for 10 years before I got a newspaper assignment to go interview this man. Sure enough, his wife answered the door and she was in my BodyPump class!
Glad to hear the weight training’s going well!
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I know, I definitely do try to give people the benefit of the doubt and all of that. It’s just something I’ve noticed for YEARS- and it’s a little hard for me to believe that people are SO in the zone/having a bad day/whatever, 3-4 x/week for 5 years straight! 😜 haha. Especially since in the weight room people literally tend to sit and rest in between sets, just looking around. Lol! But it is very possible that it’s “their” personal issue, not mine, so I do try to not take it personally. Still feels a little odd sometimes though!
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Oh, I love that notebook!! I’ve been wondering lately whether my parents kept my own teenage planners… I know I had some pretty cool FunFax and school planners but suspect they were thrown out long ago.
As for the gym… I agree with Joel. My first thought was, it’s probably a reflection of some insecurity or anxiety on their end. I wonder if there is a gender issue here, that the women in the gym are focused on themselves, insecurities about how they look, what they’re doing etc, and that affects how friendly they come across?
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There’s just a very clear difference between how the men interact with me there vs the women! Not sure the exact reason but It’s interesting for sure. Who knows!
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My two cents. Some people need to retrain their social skills after being locked up for too long. As long as you are friendly, you can just be yourself and let them be however they are. Maybe they are also worried that they don’t know how to react. 🙂
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I would hope I am not that unfriendly! I am one of those people who HATES small talk and chit chatting w/ others. I was so happy when you could listen to headphones or use an ereader right away v having to wait until the plane hit 10k feet. My husband makes fun of me for how anti-social I am! I would never avoid eye contact – at least I don’t think I would? I was very uncomfortable in the weight lifting room, though. So that might be at play? The guys are all in their element but the women might be new to weight training and feel like they don’t know what they are doing or that someone might be watching their form? But overall it seems like people should be able to smile and acknowledge others!
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