Today is the 109th day of 2021. I saw somewhere or heard on a podcast I think last week that it was the 100th day of the year (would have been on Saturday, April 10th), and that kind of stopped me in my tracks for a sec. I remember thinking when I heard that, Wow! 100 days already. I did a little mental check in on how I felt the year is going, and meant to sit down and review my planner a bit, my goals lists, etc.
Then I blinked, and now it’s Day #109, Week 16. I never did look over my lists- not yet, anyway. (I have this year, just not really too much lately.)
I feel like this is a bit indicative of how my year feels so far. Just a little messy, maybe a tad rough around the edges. I think it’s been a GOOD year, overall. I certainly cannot complain! There’s been some really good stuff already this year for me/ our family/ my life. It just feels a little bumpy- like I can’t quite get in my groove for some reason.
Oh well, I guess. I remember feeling very IN my groove at the beginning of 2020, for the first couple months. Felt very organized, on track, etc. And we all know how well that worked out. Ha.
Maybe it’s the little unconscious struggle of life returning to a semi-normal state, while still feeling NOT totally normal in many ways. Like, so close, yet so far away? I don’t know.
Maybe it’s just that little undercurrent or buzzing in the background, during those otherwise “normal” feeling moments, that makes things feel a bit tumultuous yet, to me. Or maybe that’s just life in general! I cannot say that every year has gone off perfectly smoothly without any hiccups even in the most normal of normal non-pandemic years (i.e. ALL of my previous years of life, prior to 2020….).
Anyway! There are 256 days left. 36 more weeks! Plenty of time left to change the course, stay the course, forget the course…..Whatever you felt (or feel) you want to do this year, there’s still time left to do it!
Baby steps….going to start by crushing Monday today and making it a great day. Repeat tomorrow, and continue for the next 256 days. Hahaha. (Just kidding. I’m not that unrealistic. I know I won’t. But, I’ll try!)
Daily Gratitude:
I am grateful for people who inspire me.
GRATEFUL KAE 
i totally understand how you feel… wanting to move on but can’t and afraid of, which makes everything a bit messy. let’s hope things improve sustainably. meanwhile, focus on small wins everyday to remind us everyday is a gift.
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I always like milestone days as check ins too. I agree that with your assessment that there are many “so close yet so far” moments lately. Definitely feeling grateful to be fully vaccinated and that many of our friends and family members are starting to be fully vaccinated as well.
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I think Sarah H-U mentioned the 100 day mark. It surprised me, too! This is another year of transition for me with me going back to work so I am cutting myself slack in 2021. I set monthly goals but am not really pushing myself to accomplish a ton… I feel like the first year of a baby’s life is sooo hard, especially for the mom but I look forward to 2022 being a little more of a normal year. That is when we will probably take our first flights as a family, too, as I want to go visit my sister in Tucson in feb or mar.
I do feel excited about my return to work so this feels like a good week instead of a sad week. I kind of feel some guilt saying that but I remind myself that the decision to return to work should be framed around what is best for mom – not baby! Emily Oster (author I love!) had a section on that in her crib sheet book and it was so helpful for me to read that mom returning to work or staying home doesn’t have a measurable impact on the child so do what makes you happy! Which for me is working!
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Agree! A happy, thriving, fulfilled mom makes for a happy child- however that looks for each individual family! Best of luck with your return to work. Happy to hear that you feel excited to get back at it!!!
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