Sniff, sniff. It was a sad day yesterday. 😥
We now officially no longer have any Santa believers in our household.
It was time, definitely (Asher is 10, almost 11 and in 5th grade)…. but it still feels like a milestone. Like the boys are “all grown up now”.
Here’s how it went down:
Asher and I went in the hot tub last night after dark, just the two of us. It was really dark out except a big, bright full moon. We were both looking up at it and I commented, “Wouldn’t it be funny if we were just sitting here and all of a sudden the shadow of Santa and the reindeers flew in front of the moon???”
He laughed and said something like, “Santa must be REALLY fast to make it around the whole world in one night.” I responded, “Well, yeah, of course. That’s just part of his magic.”
Long pause….then he said, “Back a couple years ago at my soccer camp a bunch of kids were saying they didn’t believe in Santa.”
Him: “Yeah, but I told them I did. Some of them thought it was their parents.”
Me, sensing where this was going….”And what did you say?”
Him: “Well, back then I said I thought he was real. But now it seems pretty impossible for him to exist…..(another pause….)….. Is it really just you guys?”
Me: Pausing and hoping it becomes obvious, because it really is time for him to know but I don’t want to traumatize him by just blurting it out…..one more time, “Well, is that what you think?” (afraid of screwing this up….)
Him, seeing my uneasy face and awkward pauses: “It is you, isn’t it.”
Me: “Yeah buddy, it is us. I’m sorry…..”
Him: “It’s okay. I kinda knew. I just wasn’t entirely sure. I mean, I thought it was probably you, but then sometimes I thought maybe he was real.”
We talked a bit more about it all and he was a little surprised to find out that Ethan has known for a couple years already. (Props to Ethan for being awesome and always keeping up the act and never, ever hinting about it to Asher.)
I don’t actually know what the average age is for figuring it out. I feel like I was much younger- like 2nd or 3rd grade. (I also remember feeling it was a double whammy when it dawned on me that this probably meant the Easter Bunny didn’t exist, either!)
But he had never point blank asked before, and I didn’t want to “ruin” it prematurely or something either. We figured we’d let him believe, or pretend to believe or whatever until he was ready to really ask.
He was happy to know that we can still celebrate Christmas just as if Santa were “real”. (We always do family presents Christmas Eve and Santa presents Christmas morning.)
Still feels a bit sad to know that the door has closed on this sweet, special part of childhood! ❤
I am grateful for a wonderful long weekend that included a lot of special family time. Particularly, some nice 1:1 stretches with each of the boys.