Sniff, sniff. It was a sad day yesterday. 😥
We now officially no longer have any Santa believers in our household.
It was time, definitely (Asher is 10, almost 11 and in 5th grade)…. but it still feels like a milestone. Like the boys are “all grown up now”.
Here’s how it went down:
Asher and I went in the hot tub last night after dark, just the two of us. It was really dark out except a big, bright full moon. We were both looking up at it and I commented, “Wouldn’t it be funny if we were just sitting here and all of a sudden the shadow of Santa and the reindeers flew in front of the moon???”
He laughed and said something like, “Santa must be REALLY fast to make it around the whole world in one night.” I responded, “Well, yeah, of course. That’s just part of his magic.”
Long pause….then he said, “Back a couple years ago at my soccer camp a bunch of kids were saying they didn’t believe in Santa.”
Him: “Yeah, but I told them I did. Some of them thought it was their parents.”
Me, sensing where this was going….”And what did you say?”
Him: “Well, back then I said I thought he was real. But now it seems pretty impossible for him to exist…..(another pause….)….. Is it really just you guys?”
Me: Pausing and hoping it becomes obvious, because it really is time for him to know but I don’t want to traumatize him by just blurting it out…..one more time, “Well, is that what you think?” (afraid of screwing this up….)
Him, seeing my uneasy face and awkward pauses: “It is you, isn’t it.”
Me: “Yeah buddy, it is us. I’m sorry…..”
Him: “It’s okay. I kinda knew. I just wasn’t entirely sure. I mean, I thought it was probably you, but then sometimes I thought maybe he was real.”
We talked a bit more about it all and he was a little surprised to find out that Ethan has known for a couple years already. (Props to Ethan for being awesome and always keeping up the act and never, ever hinting about it to Asher.)
I don’t actually know what the average age is for figuring it out. I feel like I was much younger- like 2nd or 3rd grade. (I also remember feeling it was a double whammy when it dawned on me that this probably meant the Easter Bunny didn’t exist, either!)
But he had never point blank asked before, and I didn’t want to “ruin” it prematurely or something either. We figured we’d let him believe, or pretend to believe or whatever until he was ready to really ask.
He was happy to know that we can still celebrate Christmas just as if Santa were “real”. (We always do family presents Christmas Eve and Santa presents Christmas morning.)
Still feels a bit sad to know that the door has closed on this sweet, special part of childhood! ❤
I am grateful for a wonderful long weekend that included a lot of special family time. Particularly, some nice 1:1 stretches with each of the boys.
4 thoughts on “The end of the magic”
Ohhhh man oh man oh man…. sniff sniff! That’s so sweet and sad at the same time! It was probably time, but still a big milestone.
Last year around this time I got a point blank question from my oldest child (age 4) over breakfast one morning: “Mama? Is Santa Claus real? Like, really real?” I looked into her deep, sensitive, questioning eyes… and I LIED! I lied with all my heart. “Of course he is,” I said with as much conviction as possible, “of course he is.” I think she might still be skeptical, seeing as she knows unicorns and fairies and leprechauns aren’t real, but thankfully there were no follow up questions, then or since. I am all for being honest with one’s children, but I wasn’t about to let Santa Claus go at tender age of four! Also, I know for a fact that if/when she finds out the truth she won’t be as good as Ethan at keeping it a secret. (On that note I’m pretty sure I may have had something to do with your loss of faith at an early age. Oops…)
ps that’s a really cute pic of Asher – and if I’m not mistaken, I just read that book to his youngest cousin before naptime today! Let the magic live on a little longer! 🙂
Awww. I’m glad you lied, because age 4 would be way too early to let that go!! 🙂 I think it’s okay at that age for sure. With Asher, I feel like I probably could have convinced him even still now, but I would have felt really bad about it at his age. Besides, they obviously have to find out eventually!!
Awww, that such a sweet pic of little Asher!! The time just really flies, doesn’t it? I do not remember when I stopped believing in Santa. I think I kept playing along out of fear that the presents would go away. Ha! And I had a sister that was 7 years younger than me so we had to keep the belief alive for her. I bet I was probably in 4th grade or so when I stopped believing? My husband was much younger because he is a total questioner and does not take anything at face value! I definitely want to keep the magic of Christmas alive for our boys as long as possible. I grew up in a family that opened presents on Christmas Eve, too. And usually Santa would come on Christmas Eve while we were unwrapping gifts. My dad would get a sweater or something that he had to try on right away. he’d go into their bedroom to try it on and was able to ring the doorbell from our upstairs hallways. So he’d ring it and say that must be Santa and we would all run down to the front door. No one was there so my mom would then say – he left the presents on the deck! They did this year after year and the believers never caught on!
This will be our first Christmas not celebrating with family so I am not sure what we will do… We would typically go to my parents one year and then the next year Phil/me/Paul and his mom go to Phil’s cousin’s house for Christmas Eve. They’ve kind of taken us under their wing since Phil’s dad passed. So we’d celebrate with them, which was always such a blast. They are much older so their kids are all in college so they are pretty obsessed with Paul. And then we’d do Christmas Day with Phil’s mom and his brother. This year it will just be us for the whole holiday so I don’t know what we will do… But it’s a one year thing and hopefully next year we can go back to gathering w/ family…
hahaha… i like that he didn’t mind. I think my 8 years old will know soon, although just last weekend we watched Christmas movie and it reinforced a bit… maybe we have one more year 🙂