Time + expansion
I’ve been pondering the concept of time perception this week. Specifically, Parkinson’s law, “Work expands to fill available space”. As in, the more time you have to complete something, the longer you will spend on it.
I find this to be such a fascinating concept. I also really believe that it’s true, in most cases.
I think this is why retired people often still feel ‘so busy’, despite now have 40-50 extra hours back in their week…., and no matter what season of parenting we’re in, it never really slows down. I definitely think it can be true in work tasks (e.g. if I have 10 minutes between meetings to get an email out, I can probably do that; if I have a wide open hour, I might putter with the wording or formatting for much longer…) and at home (if company is arriving in 30 minutes, I can probably have the house cleaned up much more quickly than if I have a whole day in front of me….).
Now that the boys are older, they can obviously drive, they don’t need me to bathe them or cut their grapes or even oversee homework or piano practice. Yet, I still don’t exactly feel this crazy sense of time abundance. I mean, yes. I do recognize that I can now go to the gym in the morning instead of hustling off to the school drop-off line. And I have noted that I’m able to more easily make some home cooked meals now that I’m not rushing off to drive to swim practice.
But OVERALL, I still feel….busy. It’s not like I have all these big swaths of time where I’m like, “Hmm! What should I do with myself!!” Which is… weird. Haha. 🤔 How is this possible?? I still tend to feel like I could really just use a couple more hours in most days.
I guess as the theory says, the things I am doing just expand to fill the available space.
I probably spend more time on things I used to do more quickly before, and I’m sure there are other things I do do now that I didn’t before.
But on the whole, it’s funny to think about. Before, when the kids were younger, I still always exercised, we ate meals, I worked full time, I spent time with the kids and Ivan, we did yard work and cleaned our own house and decorated for holidays and bought birthday gifts. Granted, we did not have a dog before. But big picture, I definitely feel like we had even MORE to fill the space than now. Bigger volunteer role (swim). Away swim meets every weekend. Club soccer tournaments. Multiple sports and activities. DRIVING. ALL THE DRIVING.
It seems hard to believe that when you remove many of those things, today… shouldn’t there be some huge time gaps?!?! But yet… I don’t really feel that there are. lol.
I think I work more now than I did before. My job intensity has increased. Charlie has been a very real addition to the household. So there are a few obvious things that have expanded. But overall, it’s a bit of a mystery. Haha.
I mean, in fairness, if you asked me if I felt like I have more time now or before, I would definitely say now. The kids driving has been huge. But I guess what I’m saying is that I just never exactly feel time abundant, either. (Despite being, I think, “above average” in time management literacy?! It’s a topic I read/ study quite a bit….Lord help me otherwise! 😅)
I suppose this is why it’s such a great exercise to track your time. I wish I had time logs from 5-10 years ago. Having objective data makes it hard to argue with yourself. 😉
“Feeling busy” ≠ being truly busy.
I’m certain that there are places today that I’m “wasting” more time, now that I can, be it just sitting in restaurants or watching more shows or slightly longer workouts or more leisurely cooking sessions etc….. or just spending longer on things that could theoretically be done more quickly, or not at all. (I say “waste”, but I don’t think these things are actually a “waste” – I just mean that the perception of being hopelessly busy is not always 100% accurate.)
Easing into fall….
Fall finally seems to be making a slow appearance! We’ve had some cooler temps and some cozy rainy days this week.
I put up the first batch of my fall decor. (I usually wait until October for anything truly “Halloween”.)
Today there’s a Packers game at noon and I’m making chili and a pumpkin dessert. Quintessential fall day?! Yes please.
Soccer games have been slightly cooler, too:
Charlie chose a fall blankie:
Oh, by the way, today is September 20th, which means it’s my 5 Month No Soda Anniversary!! 🥳🎉 Go me!!
Part of the issue is everyone wants to improve, but nobody wants to destroy. Change often requires destruction. Or, at least, unlearning.
Let’s call it gentle elimination. You may have to leave little habits, update current beliefs, eliminate comfortable patterns. When you want better outcomes, your daily norms may need to change. The process of improvement is not just about adding things you like.
Sometimes habits and patterns belong to who you were, not who you are trying to be. If you’d like something better, then a routine you are comfortable with may have to die.”
Daily Gratitude:
I am grateful for the smell of that Apple Crisp candle from Bath & Body Works (see pic above). Highly recommend that one if you want your house to smell like a fall paradise!
GRATEFUL KAE 