A quick mini-rant about gift buying:
I have heard recently in multiple places about people who have “carved out a couple hours and sat down to buy all their gifts”, most recently on The Lazy Genius podcast yesterday. Just go on and get that pesky little task checked right off the list!
This idea sounds…. very nice. But I cannot at all wrap my head around how it functions in actuality.
For me, gift buying is probably the most stressful part of the holidays, because it’s a whole kind of ongoing, vague/ not easily defined “task” (ends up being many tasks in the end.) First, you need a freaking IDEA of what thing(s) to get people before you can even start. And that’s usually my first problem, lol. From there, IF you happen to, God-willing, have some great idea(s), you have to be able to find the thing, and then the store has to have it in stock, in the size/color/model/what have you that you want. The price has to be right. The quality has to be right. It needs to fit. Do we even know which size? Why are all the size charts different? Oh, that size is out of stock except for an XXS? The color or thing I want is never the one on sale. And the list goes on. Repeat all of this times multiple people, and usually often multiple gifts per person!
And I’ll circle back and repeat, you can’t even get to most of this until you know what you’re going to buy! THE IDEA PART is what can be most soul-crushing to me. Maybe if I didn’t care quite so much about attempting to give “the right” gift (which is an exercise in futility half the time anyway, because I’m usually buying for very privileged people who already have everything they need), it would be easier.
Anyway, for all of this and more, I find the recommendation to just “sit down and buy everything in one 2-hour window and yay, you’re done!” to be rather infuriating. I guess it feels like this advice just does not see me or feel me. 😩 The closest I’ve gotten to this has been to maybe check off a few specific people….
Oh, and I don’t even think I buy for THAT many people! (Granted, for our immediate family, we do definitely tend to the “more” side of the gift spectrum. We’re not just only buying like 1-2 things for the kids, for example. And I usually even end up buying multiple gifts for my parents and other family, depending how the cost breakdown works out.)
Our 2024 gift buying list:
- Ivan
- Ethan
- Asher
- my mom
- my dad
- my sister
- my brother-in-law
- my nieces x2, nephew x1
- Ivan’s sister
- other niece x1, nephew x1
- other local brother-in-law + girlfriend + nephew
Okay, enough Grinchy talk… let’s move on to a little recent happy misc!
Asher had his first two high school swim meets this past weekend!
He had one Friday night (Ethan and I were timers together!) and a longer invitational on Saturday.
He had a great start to his season! Especially considering the early point in the season (and coming off an extended swim break due to fall volleyball), he was super happy with his times. I think he went all best times all weekend!
Ivan and I attended the parents social.
You may recall that after the meet, the swimmers all go out to Culver’s for dinner, and the parents all go to a local restaurant for dinner/ drinks. (A team of parents arranges/ reserves at a different place for each meet.)
Ivan and I joined in and went along on Friday! We ended up not eating (we both had eaten late lunches and the place was a BBQ joint and we just weren’t really in the mood for that heavy of food, I guess?) and just had a beer, but it was fun and we had some good conversation with some new-to-us parents.
After we ended up stopping by a different local place (just me and Ivan) because now we were hungry! Ha.
I might buy myself a Christmas gift?
I’m thinking of ordering these for myself for Christmas.
I have been wanting a “sneaker boot” since last Christmas when we went to Mexico. I remember that I had packed a pair of Chelsea boots, and sneakers, but I had wished I had something more “in between” a boot and a sneaker. Something comfortable for walking, that felt more sneaker-like, but also could be dressed up or down more like a boot.
I feel like something like this would just be so versatile for traveling! And it says they’re waterproof. Might be great for London?
Does Charlie need a $35 Christmas collar?
I keep getting ads online for this personalized Christmas dog collar, and I have to say, it’s tempting.
Does Charlie need a $35+ collar just for the holidays? No…. he doesn’t. I am not planning to buy it. It’s still awfully cute though!!
I love this fitness reminder.
I love my “online trainer” Sohee for many reasons, but also because she always promotes so much REAL TALK surrounding health and wellness.
She posted a reel recently where the first frame was her touting how she “exercises 5-6x/ week”. However, the second frame was this:
She pushes back hard on the idea that often gets spread in the fitness world that “you just have to want it bad enough” or that “people who don’t exercise are just lazy”. The truth is, we do NOT all have the same 24 hours in a day, and everyone’s situation is not equal.
I love that she brings awareness to how many things factor into her ability to do what she does. And that if someone else is not in that same situation, especially socioeconomically, it can be a whole lot harder to be healthy.
Asher’s doing well driving!
He’s gotten some good time in behind the wheel already this past week!
Sunday night Ivan was at indoor soccer, so Asher and I went out for a drive. We played Christmas tunes and he drove me to Target to return something (and we did some parking practice in the back of the lot) and another stop for a gift card, and then we just drove around town for a while.
It was quite nice. 🙂
Memory lane:
I’ve probably shared this before, since Facebook probably reminds me of it every year…. but this popped up again last night and it’s just.so.cute!
Daily Gratitude:
I am grateful for my cozy bathrobe.
GRATEFUL KAE 
I actually think your list of people to buy gifts for is quite long. I think because I have such a large family, it means we buy fewer gifts because it would never be practical to buy gifts for everyone. We used to do a sibling drawing but everyone was getting each other gift cards much of the time, so we cut that out probably 10 years ago! So I just have to buy for the boys, we make a shutterfly calendar for my MIL, there is a cousin drawing but as the kids get older they mostly want gift cards and we drew 2 older cousins (but one is getting a microfiber towel so he has something funish to unwrap), the siblings go together to get gift cards for my parents, and then there are a ton of gifts for teachers/caregivers/etc. Phil has helped a lot with gifts for the boys this year – both coming up with ideas and buying them and telling his mom what to buy. We are more gift minimalists, though – both in our family and my family of origin. My parents have cut back on what they’ve gotten the grandkids since they have 11 now so the kids get money + another gift of around $100 value, I think? So they are still very generous, but there are fewer presents for each kid to open than there were before they started giving money as part of the gift. For us kids, we get cash and socks.
I’m glad the social event with the other swim parents went well! And that Asher is doing well! I am sure it is so nerve wracking to be in the car with a new driver! I don’t look forward to that stage. I think Phil will be better at that than me.
LikeLike
I think coming up with the gift ideas is the hardest part. That was not a one hour deal. Once I got that figured out I probably did knock out most of it in an hour or two with online shopping but I have a much shorter list than you. The 1-2 hours seems to be discounting all the mental labor of deciding things that has to happen before the buying.
LikeLike
My shopping list is similar in length BUT we do wish lists. Everyone makes a wish list and then we share them around Thanksgiving. I keep mine as a draft email all year long and then if I see something I would like to have but wouldn’t buy for myself I just add it to the list. My kids make their own lists and then my husband and I edit them and make sure they have items in a variety of price ranges on their list.
It is so much more pleasant for everyone. People get things they actually want and shopping really can happen in a couple of hours. We keep email threads to know who is getting what for whom to avoid duplicates. I highly recommend.
LikeLike
I came to comment with something similar. Everyone shares exactly what they want (not need). It’s usually something they wouldn’t buy for themselves.
It is much easier with a few more people than your list and everyone receives something they actually want. I do add a surprise for my spouse and children since they receive multiple gifts.
I consider myself a thoughtful gift giver, but realized it wasn’t sustainable year after year. So some years are more creative if/when I have a unique idea, like adding concert tickets for my parents last year for a band I’d seen and thought they would like since they were playing near them. We also agreed to stop gifting for adult siblings more recently.
I don’t knock it out it a single session, but order all online and work on it in short chunks after Thanksgiving, with the goal to finish by this weekend. Gillian’s wish lists sound even more efficient!
LikeLike
Yeah yeah just carve out a few hours to get it done is great advice…they just left out the part where you figure out who you have to buy for, what they want, sizes, etc, etc, etc…
I think this pairs well with the “fitness” advice – that it’s so easy to stay in shape as long as everything else in your life lines up so that you can put the time into fitness. Bravo to Sohee for telling it like it is.
No Charlie doesn’t *need* a $35 collar but he would look very cute in it, which is probably worth $35.
LikeLike
I am 100% with you on the gift buying stuff! It is NOT a simple thing. I went shopping with my mom a few weeks ago and she knocked out every single item on her gift list in about three hours. HOW?!?! I have been dithering about gifts forever and still have a few left to buy. UGH. I think I make things slightly more complicated by involving my husband in a lot of the gift decisions. I think he likes to have a say and I like that it’s not all on my shoulders, but it does require extra time to discuss gifts together. Especially when we have different ideas! We CANNOT agree on what to get my daughter “from Santa.”
LikeLike
We make a spreadsheet and then order/shop from there. The spreadsheet part takes about 2 hours and is pretty fun, but the rest of the process is more arduous. I like brainstorming together because then the emotional labor part is not all on me, and we can divvy up the buying easily. Plus it means we are on board with spending and nobody gets snippy about anything.
LikeLike
I like the spreadsheet idea! I have a list in my planner but it would be handy to readily see numbers and prices as well. Will start this now for next year, ha!
LikeLike
i do a a spreadsheet too, with a new sheet every year so I can look back and remember what I’ve gifted in the past. I started doing it one year when I couldn’t for the life of me remember if I had already bought my nephews Uno or not…
LikeLike
That picture of the boys is priceless! I love it. I wonder if you couldn’t do some sort of entertainment pot instead of gifts? Like you have a weekend somewhere with dinner etc and everyone splits it? To me that keeps stuff from accumulating and also you get to spend time together. Unless you don’t really want to spend time together!! And there are definitely people where I’d rather just buy them a gift.
However, if you must buy gifts, I think one small quality item, like merino socks or gloves is usually a hit.
LikeLike
I gift buying circle got smaller this year by one, but still, I hear you. It’s become a case of everyone buying each other gift cards which, to me, is the ultimate bottom. But that’s what it’s become, as it’s just too stressful.
Oh, and that throwback picture? Gorgeous. Love these memories, and treasure them.
LikeLike
I have and like those boots – I recommend sizing up. I found them tight in the toe and ended up giving them to my kid…who has now also outgrown them lol
LikeLike
I am with you on the time it takes to get gifts!
While I am a minimalist for most things, Christmas gifts for my family isn’t one of them. I am pretty frugal so want to make sure what I buy they want/need/will serve some purpose. Then I want to get a good buy so I research every item, read reviews, dither.
I spend hours and hours researching and buying Christmas gifts over a series of months but I kinda enjoy the process since I start early. But it definitely takes me WAY longer than two hours and I still feel like I mess up a colour or size at some point.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I literally took 2 hours this morning to buy two gifts online for Owen- one board game and one sticker book. So I hear ya! I’m guessing Kendra had already decided what to get and where from, and it was just the buying bit that took a few hours one night.
Your list is fairly long. I can see it would take a while. We only do gifts for the kids in our family, so our two, one niece, and a couple of family friends. Plus a neighbourhood secret Santa. Others in the family get a Christmas card and photo of our family. The older niece gets a gift card, as do teachers etc. Good luck with your shopping!
LikeLike
Ugh, I’m always so torn at this time of year. I LOVE Christmas, but it can get stressful. And the things that are stressful are also thing I love! Like- gift giving. I love buying presents for people! But, I also stress about it. The kids made it easy for me this year, supplying me with VERY detailed lists. But there are some people who are very hard to buy for, and I still haven’t made a decision and it’s getting late (since a couple of them need to be mailed!) Anyway… it definitely does not take two hours. Or, if you’re doing it in two hours you’re probably not putting a whole lot of thought into it.
Now- think how cute Charlie would look in that collar, and how excited you would be every year to pull it out- you could store it with your Christmas decorations. It’s kind of in the same category as having Christmas shirts or pajamas- you only wear them for maybe one month out of the year, but you get many Christmases out of them.
Yes- the boys are SO CUTE in that photo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LikeLike
Gift giving and gift receiving is the by far my LEAST favorite thing about Christmas. This year, T and I are not buying each other gifts. We already got a few things for the kids. And that is IT. No gifts for extended family (don’t have any in our vicinity). MIL is in ME, my folks are in Russia.
Teachers get holiday cards written by the kids and board magnets. Preschool got a big box of Cheryl’s cookies.
LikeLike
I totally agree about the stress of buying gifts. Fortunately I only. need to buy for 3 people. Ideally I would have bought gifts over the course of few months, but actually it happens in an hour during lunch break. oh well. good idea to buy gift for our self 🙂 I think I’ll get a new running watch for me.
LikeLike
If it were me, I would buy that collar and let him wear it all year. Could say he’s Scottish or something. It’s lovely.
I love the connection between the ‘buy all of your gifts in 2 or 3 hours’ and ‘everyone can exercise 5-6 days a week’. Both assume a lot.
It feels like we’re buying more and more gift cards these days, which is nice but also kind of meh. I want to buy my daughter a new wallet, but I don’t want to pick one out that she won’t want, so one of her gifts is going to be a mother daughter shopping trip, where I will buy her a wallet and also lunch. And if we’re being honest, we’ll likely end up having to return the sweater I bought her because I wanted her to have something to open besides an envelope, and she probably won’t want it. Worth a try though.
LikeLike
Your thoughts on gift buying gave me a boost this week! My list is almost identical to yours except I have 3 kids and their birthdays are all over Christmas/NY so I’m buying for their birthdays and Christmas at the same time. The kids are little and not getting expensive things, but even with a handful of gifts each (a book, a ball, art stuff etc) it still takes time to think through, get one thing they really want and balance the list so they have similar to unwrap and then actually find and get the stuff… I started last week and it has taken me 25hrs start to finish for kids and extended family (including brainstorming, ordering and running around getting stuff from smaller shops and collecting orders). That sounds a lot but also felt about as efficient as it could be – no chasing anything completely out of stock or completely stuck for ideas for anyone this year. definitely not a 2hr job for me!
LikeLike
I feel like I have seen similar collars on Etsy for much cheaper. Just an FYI!
Gah, gift-giving! Thankfully, I don’t have a large list of people to buy for and most of us do wish lists, which is SO helpful. But there are a few people I have to really research and think about what to get them and that can take SO LONG. Being a thoughtful gift giver takes time, ha.
LikeLike
I will double down on the experience gift. My parents and stopped buying gifts for each other years ago and opted to do something together. This year my mom and I went to a Gingerbread Wonderland exhibit and out for dinner and I’ll be taking my dad to the new Bob Dylan movie. Same with my husband, we opt to buy something for the house or do a fancy dinner somewhere. My in-laws are another story though. Gift giving is my MIL’s love language so I feel your stress but it’s only for two people. I have no idea what to get them and I wish we could opt out. I particularly don’t like giving or getting gifts. It’s too stressful 🙂
LikeLike