Over this past year or so, we’ve had some increasing issues with Asher no longer wanting to play the piano. Especially during the last school year, we had a LOT of days that he would really push back against practicing and even going to lessons. We started to hear the words “I’m going to quit” or “I don’t like playing the piano” more and more. Sometimes there were tears and shouts about it.
His teacher, who he’s been with since he was 5, tried every trick in her bag to re-engage him, excite him, whatever she could. Wasn’t working. I kept “forcing” him to practice at home, because, well, we are paying for the lessons and I really don’t want him to quit! Honestly, I also didn’t completely trust his 9-10 year old judgment on making this big decision.
It’s such a tricky thing… I mean, I love to play the piano and have played all my life. I think it’s highly valuable and I really, really want the boys to play instruments and appreciate music. HOWEVER….there’s always that nagging question…..”just because I love the piano, does that mean the boys automatically will (or have to) too??” I mean, they are individuals, entitled to their own interests. It’s so hard as a parent to know when to push or when to step back!
That being said: I know for a fact that many kids go through stages where music seems “boring” or “unappealing”, only to later turn a corner as they get older and find a whole new appreciation for it as teenagers or adults. I would hate to let him quit and have us all regret it later! I have met many adults that, when they learn I play the piano, have said, “Ohhhh….I played the piano when I was little. I wish my parents hadn’t let me quit!!!”
Long story short, after some discussion, we decided with the input of his teacher that we would switch Asher to a different teacher. His teacher agreed that maybe a change could be good for him, light a new spark, if you will. Asher liked his old teacher a lot but they were just starting to butt heads a little bit on some things I think and Asher often seemed frustrated. We needed to switch it up.
Yesterday afternoon, Asher had his first lesson with a new teacher (from the same music school, but a newly hired teacher). She is older, but I can tell she is very experienced and awesome with kids- warm and kind.
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Right away I loved the way she spoke to Asher and he responded to her instantly. She seems very interesting, creative and confident. Additionally, she is a published composer- and while composing is not something I have ever gotten into personally, I can actually really see that side of music appealing to Asher (he is quite artistic/ creative himself).
They spent a big part of the first lesson working on putting together a made-up piece about the boys’ hamsters. 😊 Asher LOVED it and was happy and engaged, talkative and excited the whole time.
I know all lessons can’t be like that- you still have to teach the skills and the scales and theory and all of that- but I feel like it was a huge step in the right direction for him!! I’m sure there is a bit of novelty factor going on here too, but after the lesson he said emphatically, “I want to keep taking lessons with HER!!”
Fingers crossed that we can keep pushing through this plateau here and emerge stronger on the other side! He has come so far and really plays quite beautifully now, when he wants to. 😉
Do you play any instruments?? Did you ever quit any instruments? Any regrets??
Daily Gratitude:
I am grateful for hot showers, towels and bathrobes! I took a hot shower yesterday evening and stepped out and just said, “Ahhhhh.” 😊 I’m grateful also for fluffy towels to dry off with and my warm bathrobe to wrap up in afterwards.
GRATEFUL KAE 
Well I already left you a pretty long comment on IG about this topic! It is really hard to know when to let a kid quit something… You don't want them to regret it down the road but you don't want to force them to do it if they truly aren't interested. Sounds like this new teacher is a great fit for him, though. I took piano until I was 16. I had a teacher that taught at our school during recesses for a couple of years and he was horrible and then I switched to a younger teacher and she was an excellent fit. My younger sister and I took lessons until we were 16-18. My older sister and brothers were able to quit but I"m not sure when – maybe around 5th or 6th grade? I also played the trumpet all through HS but have never picked up since and will never. I didn't love it by the end but I am musically inclined so I stuck w/ it. Paul will start piano lessons around K or 1st grade. We will see how long we have him take lessons. Phil was forced to take lesson until he was 18 and HATED it. He will never sit down and play the piano. It's hard to say if the lessons ruined it or if he still wouldn't have interest even if he had stopped lessons sooner. But i want to avoid that kind of situation. So I'm thinking we'll require lessons until 5-6th grade unless he really really dislikes it but I"m hoping that's not the case!
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i don't play any instrument because my parents couldn't afford it when I was little. My older one (almost 8) started when she was 5 and still plays it. I am not sure how much she enjoys it but she's collaborative and sometime finds it fun to play. I can imagine one day she'll tell me the same and I wouldn't be sure what to say. I want her to have one instrument not to become a musician but a creative outlet that she could use to relax herself, and to learn to practice mindfulness and not quitting because things get hard. now with the covid, she hasn't seen her teacher for over 4 months and zoom class is really not very effective but well… no alternative really. we'll see. I love the post-shower feeling too, especially a long run. the best feeling in the world!!!
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