Ethan had his end of season soccer dinner banquet Sunday night. The coach is, ahem, very wordy, and the entire event was slated to run from 5:30 pm- 8:30 pm and it definitely went the ENTIRE time. Don’t get me wrong, it was great. But also, long, and meant we got home at about 9:15 pm on a Sunday night.
Ethan was awarded the “Rocketman Award” by his peers, apparently because many of his goals were, and I quote, “absolute bangers”. 😄
As the Parent Reps did the introductions and profuse thank yous to all of the parent volunteers who made the season possible, I sat there feeling mildly uncomfortable. My name did not get mentioned as one of the key volunteers because, well, I wasn’t one.
The thing is, it’s not just a few people who contributed in big ways. There are a LOT of volunteer roles for a HS soccer team.
The list of Volunteer Jobs included:
- Parent Reps (manage all the scheduling + communication w/ parents, collect fees, manage volunteer sign ups)
- Senior Night organizer
- Away Game Meal Coordinator (arrange meals for boys to eat on the bus)
- Score board + Game Clock Manager (for all the games)
- Announcer for home games
- Overnight Game in Milwaukee planning committee (hotel, meals, etc)
- End of Season Banquet planning committee
- carpool organizer for all the JV games + kids who can’t drive yet to some practices that are held off site
- Alumni game coordinators (reserve location, coordinate food, signups, etc.)
- Team Photographer
- Team Dinner Hosts for Playoffs (multiple team dinners)
- Fundraising Coordinator
- Coaches Gift coordinator
These are all big jobs!! I’d say most require an ongoing time commitment and many require multiple people. As you can also see, this is not a small number of jobs. Soccer teams are not that big either. This means many (most?) parents are basically forced to step up and volunteer in some big way.
We kind of took the easiest possible route and I signed Ivan up to be the “Assistant Communicator” at I think 3 or 4 games. (He had to stand on the sideline and text the announcer the jersey number/names of players subbing in and out as well as who scored the goals/assists. This sounded like a hard job to me, because I swear I miss half the goals or I would not have caught who did the assist…But Ivan is an Experienced Soccer Game Watcher so this worked.)
So we technically did volunteer, but just in the most minimal way possible.
I feel a little sheepish/guilty about this for several reasons. Ethan is a Junior. There’s definitely an expectation that the older Varsity parents step up. Next year he’ll be a Senior, so this expectation will amplify further. (Also, there are 9 graduating Seniors and those parents did a ton this year and are leaving big shoes to fill….).
You always hear the advice to “just say no” and that if your plate is full, it’s okay to not commit, etc. I honestly just do not want to volunteer in any big way but also, everyone cannot say no?! I do understand that logistically, in order for the team to function, people HAVE to help. There are only so many people.
It’s tempting to say, well, the people who don’t work full time can volunteer! But the thing is, most of the parents at Ethan’s school work full time and like me, they are ALSO very busy people. Several of the parents in the biggest roles this year are full time doctors, pharmacists, physical therapists, etc.
It quickly becomes very obvious who is slacking off….And so many other parents already are contributing in such big ways. I already feel like we stood out a bit this season as outliers not taking on a larger role or hopping on one of the committees. I don’t want to develop a reputation as not being a team player/ not helping out, and I definitely don’t want it to somehow reflect negatively back on Ethan (like if the Coach thinks Ethan + his family is not committed to the team, etc., could that impact his chance of being a Senior Captain?? 😬).
The thing is, I have already done so much volunteering over the years. I managed 2 club soccer teams for years when the boys were ~7 to 11 years old, and I was also the Volunteer Coordinator of Asher’s club swim team for 4 years. Of course, that really does not matter here. No one here knows or even cares about what I’ve done in the past… they just see that “Mr. and Mrs. Lopez” are suspiciously missing from the sign ups…
No one also cares that I am already on the Board for Asher’s high school swim team now, new this year, which requires frequent board meetings and other behind the scenes work. (It is truly a lot easier for me to volunteer for things at Asher’s school though which is right here in town, versus Ethan’s team where all events are 35+ minutes from home for me. I also have much closer relationships with the swim parents versus Ethan’s soccer team’s parents (probably because I haven’t volunteered for soccer…. 🤪).
I also feel like even though we haven’t had a “big” soccer role, there still have been a lot of asks! I’ve gone out to buy ($) cases of protein bars + cases of sparkling waters for team events, Ivan has worked at several games, I contributed $ for the coaches’ gifts…. My point is, even the bare minimum still feels like kind of a lot and it stresses me out to know we “should” be doing even a lot more. 😩
Anyone else dealing with this?? I know it’s great to be involved, and the years are short, and I’ll miss this, yada yada… but I just can’t stomach adding more to my life right now really. (Many of the jobs are just… not really in my (or Ivan’s) wheelhouse, either. Meal coordinating? No. Social event planning? Not my jam. Announcing at the games? Hard pass. Carpool? I literally cannot be there. Etc.)
Photo evidence of me spending time volunteering last night putting together a sign in sheet for the Boys Swim Parent/Athlete meeting which is tonight at 6:30….. I also have been coordinating the suits and caps order, which has required multiple emails with the swim store, and Ivan going to pick up a sizing kit today before the meeting tonight…
(Done on a Tuesday after I worked all day, squeezed in the gym at lunch, took Asher to a dentist appointment after school, spent almost 1.5 hours deep cleaning our entire fridge in a rage because it was disgusting, walked the dog, and then… swim team sign up creation time.)
Daily Gratitude:
I am grateful for catching this view out my office window this morning! I also slept terribly last night- WHY DO I WAKE UP AT 3:22 a.m!!!!!- and then overslept and have not showered as a result, so, this view was a bright spot. Lol.
GRATEFUL KAE 
I wonder if part of what complicates it is that since your boys are at different schools, it’s not like the soccer parents are like, “Oh Kae is busy with swim team!!” where as they might know that if you were in a smaller community.
Also, I have nothing helpful to add, except to say I do read your blog and you do seem really busy so I wouldn’t feel too bad! BUT! I agree the advice of “just say no” doesn’t always seem helpful. My kids are young and I see a lot “just say no to birthday party invites! family time is important!” advice on the internet, which I get, but also… I want other kids to come to my kids birthdays! Which means we all need to pitch in and celebrate kids to some degree!
LikeLike
The 2 schools thing definitely complicates things, although I feel like volunteer organizers don’t really have the luxury to “care” whether someone is already volunteering elsewhere or not. I mean, I get it… since I used to be the Volunteer Coordinator for swim, I know what it’s like to have a bunch of work/positions that need to be filled! If a parent says, sorry, I just can’t, what really happens then is that work just get hoisted onto the people who are already doing a lot…. which is so hard, too! Basically what I’m saying is it feels like an unwinnable situation!! When I was in the organizer position I did understand/feel bad for asking more of other parents, but at the same time, at least for swim meets, much of it was not optional, so it was a real conundrum.
Also agree completely with your bday party comment- it’s so complicated!
LikeLike
I think you volunteered in a reasonable way. Your husband took on a job that he’d be good at, and you do not have the time! You do so much, and the distance to the other school is a big factor. People at the school have the volunteer opportunities covered- you don’t have to do everything. Esp. If it’s something you don’t feel comfortable doing! I’ll staff concession stands,chaperone dances, and do dishes- please don’t ask me to run the auction!
Three of my kids went to the residential dlscience high school in Illinois. It’s 3 hours away, so I could not do much of anything for the fun school activities or extra curricular. Other parents who lived close happily covered things.
Consider it a chance to let other people step up and help out.
LikeLike
Yes, I know everyone’s situations are different, so I am always hopeful that realistically CAN step in more easily don’t mind.. For example, there was one mom who was recognized who helped with a lot of the carpooling for the JV kids (she a) had a kid on JV and b) must live really close to the school and c) was available right after school to drive the kids if needed!). I absolutely could not have done that, so I’m grateful that she was able to (and did).
LikeLike
This feels tricky, and I have no good advice since I’m very much not at this stage of parenting (I have a 6-year-old and a 2-year-old). It seems like you are being thoughtful in what you have the capacity for and contributing as much as you can, but I hear what you are saying that everyone cannot say no and that you want to be a team player. I think it is just hard having two kids at different schools and this might just be the reality of having a kid go to school 35 minutes away. Congrats to Ethan on a great season!
LikeLike
Yep, it’s really just tricky. I guess for me, with my boys’ ages and the number of kids we have, the end is basically in sight, so I’m trying to just sort of suck it up and do what needs to be done, because in a few more years I suppose this won’t be an issue!!
LikeLike
I think the ball was dropped in not even mentioning all the parents (like you and Ivan) that filled the many gaps that needed to be filled throughout the season. You have a lot on your plate and seem to do your share. There are always people that do so much more than the rest (it seems). Good for them lol but it’s not for everyone.
LikeLike
Yeah, I know I didn’t do as much as others, but we tried to do what we could at least…. for example, when E’s team made playoffs, we ended up being the home team, which meant the sudden creation of volunteer spots that were not on the sign up at the beginning of the season. I stepped right in and signed Ivan up for one of those communicator spots, lol. (But my point is, we had already done several games and we signed right up for yet another…) Ivan also dropped fruit off for the team playoff dinner, etc… I know we didn’t do the heavy lifting of “organizing” and “setting everything up”, but, hey, someone has to go and by the fruit too, right?!
LikeLike
rage-cleaning the fridge – oh I can relate. Your fridge looks sparkly and amazing!
on volunteering – sounds like you are already doing a lot. Maybe not for every single sport/season, but a lot.
Maybe just wait and see how things go next year and if you or your husband feel like you have the bandwidth for any of those big jobs. If not – let it go, there are only so many hours in a day. Btw, your husband’s communicator job seemed pretty intense – that’s more than just a little thing… Idk, bringing snacks/drinks – also pretty big. You are already contributing a lot.
LikeLike
Thanks Natka! Yeah, across the board, we definitely are doing plenty, I think. I’m thinking about maybe helping to organize the end of season banquet. That feels like one of the bigger roles, but a bit more limited.
LikeLike
I think you are doing great! When people ask me to volunteer right now m answer is always the same “I am currently serving as the warden at Christ Church. When my terms ends I may have some time open up.” I think you could use the same line but with swim team. It let’s people know that you do volunteer in a big way, but doesn’t close off future opportunities.
LikeLike
I thought of you as I wrote this as I know you have MORE kids and also a bigger job than I do! Curious how your son’s soccer team functioned with volunteer roles/needs- is it similar to what I described, or more low key?
LikeLike
@Kae My son’s soccer team requires much support from parents. Their are co-captains (kids) and their parents are responsible for organizing a few team dinners and entering scores in the team app. This year the school asked parents to bring coolers of waters to away games (the used to bring one of those giant waters coolers) and parents were livid. We don’t give the kids dinner on the bus etc. That is all very extra. It’s lovely that people want the kids to have those things but I feel like it’s a lot to ask of parents.
LikeLike
It’s not as simple as just saying no but I also think it’s unlikely that anyone was thinking that your family is not committed to the team. If there is a job that you think you could do nab it now for next year. The good news about this is it has a definite end date unlike your club swim commitment which seemed to be indefinite. Also consider whether your husband feels bad about his level of volunteering.
LikeLike
Yes, one perk to soccer is that it IS a limited season. That’s a good point. I guess for me then it goes from soccer in the fall, and then right into now high school swim in the winter… but at least it’s not all at the same time?
My husband grew up in Mexico and all of this high school sports stuff/ volunteering does NOT seem to be something he ever experienced. I mean he played soccer but he said his parents rarely even went to the games and it was just not at all a whole “thing” like here. So, that’s another issue- I sometimes struggle to get him on board with all of it as is. It’s a totally different culture than what he’s used to and he doesn’t necessarily value the whole “team bonding experience” and need for “team dinners” and the “banquet” and all of that. He sees it a bit like, what’s the point of all that? All I wanted to do was play soccer! 🙄 He understands that it’s a requirement/need though and has been good about helping out (like with the communicator job thing) and not leaving it all for me.
LikeLike
It’s interesting to hear about volunteering at high school activities because at the elementary school level it seems like a small percentage of parents do most of the volunteering. It’s not even necessarily just stay at home parents doing the volunteering. I hope you find a plan that works for you and you feel good about. My previous comment got cut off
LikeLike
And yes, at least for swim team, that was always an issue- it was the SAME group of parents doing the heavy lifting on volunteering, which then burned those parents out…. (myself included….).
LikeLike
I’d actually like you to clarify a few things for me, Kae: When you wrote “Anyone else dealing with this??”, are you asking if I’ve ever been forced to volunteer, or are you asking if I’ve had circumstances where I am forced to spend time in something-anything-that occupy too much of my time, or are you strictly asking if I have sons or daughters who do an activity for which I am forced to volunteer, or is there something else that you meant to ask?
I’m also not sure if you’ve calculated how many years you will expect the circumstances in this blog post to endure, or if you’ve shown the photo evidence to the hosts and organizers of the season soccer, or if the hosts and organizers of the season soccer give reference letters to anyone – including those who are studying in high schools and post-secondary institutions – who volunteers. For your reference, though, I’m actually seeking out volunteering roles right now. But then again, I wouldn’t want the volunteering role to take up more than 5 or 6 hours of my time per week, either.
LikeLike
I mostly was asking if other parents are experiencing a similar situation in having kids in organized team sports that are requiring a high level of volunteer commitments, and how they are handling that along with their other family and work and life commitments. Although, I’m interested to hear about anyone’s experience (not just parents!) with volunteering (for sports or other organizations) and how they fit it into their lives.
LikeLike
Thanks for clarifying that, Kae. I have no sons or daughters who participate in organized team sports, so that settles that. That being said, I did once volunteer at a high school in the city where I live. I only volunteered on Saturdays, and it took me at most 7 hours each Saturday, so that’s no issue for me. Before that, I volunteered at a homeless shelter, which required even less time from me per week. I actually do have a 100-percent-remote volunteer role right now, and it is at the organization “e-Nable”, which works with people who have, well, less than 4 limbs. This role, however, requires no more than 1 hour per week from me. None of the 3 aforementioned volunteer roles is forced upon me, either. So, I’m afraid that any advice that I give you regarding your situation in this blog post is going to be questionable, Kae.That being said, I will go back to some of your past blog posts to see if you outlined what made Asher and Ethan decide to participate in organized team sports in the first place.If you tracked your time on the Tuesday in the paragraph “Done on a Tuesday after…”, Kae, I imagine that you’ll find zero wasted time on that day.
LikeLike
Yeah, this is a hard one. I wouldn’t be happy either, being asked to do very time-consuming volunteering on top of everything else you do. On the other hand, as you pointed out, if everyone said “no” then what would happen… and none of the soccer parents know about your other commitments. Honestly, I feel like the problem is, a LOT is expected of parents these days. A perfect example is all state in January. The parents are required to go along as chaperones, which means I have to take several (unpaid) days off work and pay for a hotel in Tampa. When I went to all state in high school, we took a bus from school and the band director went with us. That’s just one of many examples. On top of this, we PAY for our kids to be in band- a $550 “fair share” payment every year which supposedly goes towards… expenses?
Having said that… I don’t do any extra volunteering, like for football games. i just don’t have the energy to rush from work to the game and be “on” for hours and hours. I do feel a little guilty about that, but then, a couple of the moms who do volunteer at the games don’t work. BUT! The woman who’s president of the band boosters is ALSO president of the PTA, AND she works full time????? I can’t even imagine how she does it. I know my limits!
LikeLike
YES! I failed to also mention that it’s not like this is free and the volunteering is my way of “paying”! We also paid about $850 for the season- which is not that long! Only a few months, really. (I understand this is part of the price of attending private school- everything has to be privately funded…) On top of that, I paid additional “team fees” of I think $150 for some other random expenses. Then I paid like $6 to get into every Conference game…. contributed to the Coach’s gifts… contributed food donations to several different events…. it’s a lot.
I don’t know how some people do so much and also have big jobs etc. I think it must be situational- like I guess I could see when I only have one kid left at home, maybe, or maybe my work schedule was really flexible or I lived right by the school, etc….
LikeLike
Does Ethan go to a private school? Is that why it’s so far from home? (does not matter at all, I’m just curious). I agree with Pat. I think everyone that helped should’ve been recognized. Some people like taking on bigger roles. Those people might have only one kid, or this might be their youngest, etc. I think the role Ivan played was an important one. I know I would never have been able to manage that and I’d have been relieved when someone else opted to do that. My kids went to a public high school and we were expected to volunteer to run the concession stand during the games opposite of when our kid played. We also had to donate food items to the concession stand. I also hosted a pasta party for the team. I’m always happy to do that, but not everyone has the space or the time in their schedule and I don’t think any less of them for not hosting the team for a dinner. I say continue to do what you feel comfortable with or what you have time for.
Congrats to Ethan for the Rocketman award. So exciting. Also, you fridge looks like it was just delivered from the store. I’m in awe.
LikeLike
Yes, he’s at a private high school and that’s why it’s farther from home. It’s a wonderful fit for him BUT, as we knew it would given the distance and all, it has created some complications…. I agree w/ your comment that everyone’s situation is different. Of the Team Reps who did SO much this year, they both do work, but I know that for one, her soccer player is her youngest, I think (i.e. only kid left at home) and for the other mom, both of her kids are on the soccer team (9 and 12 grade). So that makes it a bit easier, because for her it’s kind of a 2-for-1 deal now! ha.
LikeLike
We try hard to do our share in this area. I’ve assistant coached youth soccer and been a cub scout den leader and we take regular snack bar shifts at little league. However, I also find myself pushing back on whether all of this is really necessary?
Thinking back to my varsity soccer experience many years ago, we just didn’t have most of these roles or do many of these things. In part we were helped by transportation provided by the school, but also, does the team really need an official photographer? Or that many dinners? Or announcers? We had none of those things. We picked an injured or younger player to do the scoreboard each game, had one pot luck after the season, and the team was a great experience.
Echoing what Jenny said above, it feels like the expectations just keep going up, and I often want to push back and ask if we really need to make things so complicated and so hard. Unfortunately, it seems really hard to lower expectations once they ratchet up.
LikeLike
This is something we think about a lot too. See my comment above to someone else about Ivan’s experience/ expectations also, coming from Mexico…
I do sometimes question if we need SO many team dinners and sponsored events…. I know they always want to keep things equitable and be mindful of expenses, but sometimes I’m like, come on, can’t we just all chip in and get a bunch of Little Caesar’s pizzas delivered and call it good? Do we HAVE to do a big sign up with parents bringing crock pots of pasta sauce and all these things??? I also feel like, do we need pictures at every game?! It’s nice, sure… but I guess if I only had the few I take myself with my iphone, I wouldn’t really think twice about that either. That said, I do think the comradery created by the team events is special and memorable. Back when I was in sports though, I swear my biggest and best memory was going out to McDonald’s or Culver’s for ice cream after the event! Nowadays the teams don’t seem to do that, at least not in high school… wouldn’t that be easier?!
LikeLike
Look, it doesn’t matter if all of the other parents are putting in 40 hours of volunteer time in addition to their day job of being an ER doc and saving the world. YOUR PLATE IS FULL. What you can do is what you can do.
LikeLike
Good point, as always, Birchie!!
LikeLike
I will admit that I’m glad my kids were never into sports or stuff where I had to do much volunteering. Looking at that list, I have to admit most of those things would be a hard pass for me. Why so much? That’s a lot to expect from people, especially if you have a full time job, family, other children in sports who also need volunteers. I guess I don’t understand the necessity for so much of this because we weren’t a sports family.
LikeLike
I know… some of it definitely feels a bit above and beyond. I generally appreciate and support that they want to make it a nice and memorable experience for the kids, but like I said to someone else above, I feel like some of the same result could be had with a couple of delivery pizza dinners or just organizing a couple of stops for Culver’s custard after the games!
LikeLike
don’t really have anything to add but just ready that list gives me a head ache. SO much work. Like Birchie said above, your plate is full.
LikeLike
I know… it’s so much….
LikeLike
Gosh I am struck my how much is asked of parents. Is this all really necessary? My brothers were very active in high school sports but my parents volunteering was limited to helping with the concession stand. I would try to not ‘should’ all over yourself. You gave so much to the swim team years ago! So I feel like you’ve done your job.
I wonder how others have all this time to give? I feel so spread thin so I can’t imagine taking on a big volunteer gig. I am planning to offer to co-head the book fair at school but it’s something I am very very passionate about and will enjoy. I would be useless when it comes to athletics, but Phil has helped coach tball/baseball. But he’s athletic and enjoys the sports so it marries his talent with a need, similar to what Ivan did.
I would work on trying to let this go and to try not to worry that others are judging you. I mean this is a Catholic school so is it reflective of the values of the Catholic Church to judge others in that manner? Did you have a lot of judgment for parents that didn’t volunteer when you had that big swim team role? Maybe you did but it was probably not something you ruminated on!
LikeLike
In fairness, no one like, said anything to me or called me out on it. I just “know” that there are needs and expectations and especially as Ethan is a junior and then a senior, I feel like it gets harder and harder to shirk the responsibilities! I agree so much of it seems like… so much…. and I’m not sure “all” of it is necessary. Although I do realize there’s a lot that goes into running things than what meets the eye (for example, the scoreboard and game clock have to get run, with equipment that “someone” sets up and knows how to use and someone has to get the music playlist set up so the anthem is ready and also some warmup music, etc… all things that I honestly used to just show up and enjoy that were happening, but I gave no thought to HOW… ha.)
Book fair volunteer is perfect for you! I think I’m going to offer to help on the Banquet committee next year, even though I really don’t like doing food related things. It seems the most limited, AND, the last 2 years they’ve ordered catering from Olive Garden. So a majority of it should be fairly well established and hopefully not THAT much work…. and it’s a committee, so I wouldn’t be on my own.
LikeLike
I have so many thoughts on this! The short version is: Volunteering is such a big ISSUE, and it’s impossible to solve, and I think you do what you can, what works in your life, and that’s all you can do.
As you know, I do not work full time, so I have time to volunteer… and I feel like I’ve done plenty of volunteering for my kid’s school. I was on the PTA Board for awhile and it was so fascinating to see behind-the-scenes of the volunteering conundrum. There’s a contingent of parents who always volunteer, and a much larger contingent of people who don’t. And some of the people who don’t volunteer feel miffed that they see the same people over and over. The PTA constantly surveys parents about how to get them to volunteer, and it is split 50/50 between “I can only volunteer during the day” and “I can NEVER volunteer during the day,” and it’s just an impossible situation.
I also think that some of the volunteer roles that require filling are just too big. Like, I am happy to bring snacks to a sporting event, but I don’t want to be the coordinator of the snacks. Finding ways to streamline things for your volunteers or making the roles very simple seems like the way to go. Of course, though, you need someone to OVERSEE the streamlining and the volunteer coordination. See? IMPOSSIBLE.
It’s also impossible not to feel guilty! I feel guilty when I accept a volunteer role because I’ve already done a bunch of things, and I feel bad for taking up a spot that someone else might enjoy holding… but I feel guilty when I don’t accept a role because I technically have time to do it. IM. POSS. IH. BULL.
LikeLike
I know, I thought as I had typed that, well, I also don’t mean to imply that SAHMs or part-time workers necessarily should have to burden all the volunteering, either! Because I know situations can vary and even someone not working full time STILL might not really have the bandwidth or situation to be able to do all of this…
LikeLiked by 1 person
It all just feels like too much. I would be curious to know if the expectations are the same now as when we were small. Were there always all those roles to fill?
LikeLike
I feel this as I slog through middle and elementary for my youngest 3. Ben and I were PTO co-presidents when the older 2 boys were in school, but now? NOT SO MUCH
LikeLike
Oof, yeah I can’t really imagine doing this stuff for years and years on end. Like I said, I was pretty gung ho for a while when the boys were younger with soccer + swim and then it gets to be like, okay, been there, done that…
LikeLike
Honestly, they do all this public acknowledgement in order to shame parents into doing this work for free. That would piss me off and leave me less inclined to volunteer. Half of these jobs sound like they shouldn’t exist. Like why do you need an “Away Game Meal Coordinator”? Why doesn’t each kid just pack their own meal or why don’t they just stop at a restaurant? Why do games need announcers? When I played soccer in high school there were no announcers. Why is a planning committee needed for an overnight game in Milwaukee? Why doesn’t the school pick out a hotel and a restaurant nearby and call it a day? Frankly, I’m getting angry that they’ve created this much busy work for busy people who have jobs. And then add these public acknowledgments to guilt people into doing more? If more parents said no, I’m sure the “need” for half these tasks would fall away.
LikeLike
I can’t relate as much to the sports volunteering asks, but I did get dragooned into being the PTO Treasurer at my kids’ elementary school and although I’m glad I did it I was NOT sad when my youngest kid moved onto middle school and I had a great excuse to transition that job onto someone else! I decided I was done with school volunteering for awhile and this year I am only signing up for *extremely* low key one-off stuff like selling tickets for one night for my daughter’s school play next week. I think I’m going to take it one year at a time and reassess my volunteer commitments. Also, I’m an immigration lawyer so my job just got 100x harder (okay that’s an exaggeration, but still) and a good bit more time consuming after January of this year, with no end in sight, and it is eating into my discretionary time, so kid volunteering stuff is taking a backseat.
One thing that is interesting to me is I played high school sports and I have NO memories of my parents doing ANYTHING for the team, or really most of the other parents too! I think some of these roles you mention would not have existed 30 years ago and are kind of unnecessary, like team photographer or away game meal coordinator and things like that. I get that the culture of sports have changed so for any individual team it’s probably kind of hard to resist adding these roles!
LikeLike
The kids school sports were zero effort for us. The school organised everything and there was no cost to us. For our son we did have to take him to his matches on Saturday, except when they played Geelong and then there was a bus, but there were no jobs to do.
For club sport there was usually a parent team coordinator who just did the parent roster, organised an end of team dinner (which just means setting a date and booking a restaurant) and bought the coaches gift. All the other parents knew they would be rostered on to supervise (tennis), or score (for basketball). The rule was that if you couldn’t do the week you were rostered on, you contacted another parent to swap duty. So there was nothing very onerous and even the team coordinator role was not that large. For swimming I only helped at meets (time keeping mainly). The jobs required for Ethan’s soccer team seem like a lot. My guess is some parent with time on their hands, made everything a lot more complicated, which may be nice, but not strictly necessary and now everyone feels like they have to continue the tradition.
LikeLike
Oof. I am sorry for the predicament. I have no advice other than to be really honest with yourself what and what you cannot commit to. Worse than not volunteering is taking on a volunteer task and not follow through.
LikeLike