So Ivan left Saturday morning for California and will be away until Friday, meaning this whole week I have some “husband-free” time.
This may sound bad, but I was kind of excited for this week!! (Don’t worry, Ivan doesn’t read my blog; he won’t be offended.) I mean, it’s not that I want him to go away, but it’s RARE for him to be away for an extended period of time. (Thankfully! I wouldn’t like it if he were gone all the time.) But there’s a little part of me that was looking forward to just sort of doing whatever I wanted this week (well, during the stretches of time where I’m not driving a child somewhere or parenting or household-ing. Which is not really that much time.)
When he is home, obviously we usually sort of tag-team everything, and it’s not the “Kaelyn Show”, it’s the “Kaelyn and Ivan Show”. In the evenings, I don’t often just totally check out and completely do my own thing; if he’s home and we’re both free, we may go for a walk, or watch a show, etc before bed together. I mean, yeah, sometimes we go our separate ways, of course, but more often than not what I do is semi-dictated by what we’re doing.
So this is a nice mini-break, especially because the boys are old enough to do a lot of their own thing.
Saturday night I put on our propane fire pit for the first time and read my book out there for a long while:
Eventually the air temp dropped just enough that I thought, you know what, I think I’ll go in the hot tub now! So I did.
Perhaps I would have done these same things if Ivan were home, but maybe not. And anyway, as an introvert who has been VERY OVERSCHEDULED lately, it felt great to just sit and do these things by myself.
I didn’t actually have much downtime this weekend in the first place, so this sliver on Saturday night was the bulk of my me-time. Asher had a swim meet early Saturday that I was a timer at, and Sunday he had a soccer game. I went out shopping for some flowers on Sunday morning with Ethan, which was a nice 1:1 time treat. I actually thought he would decline my invitation, but to my surprise (and happiness) he said, “Sure” when I asked if he wanted to go.
Spent a long while Sunday p.m. planting them and doing other misc yard tasks that left my darn back hurting by the end… I definitely need to see someone about my back. It’s getting to be a real problem.
Anyway, I have a few more “free evenings” left, but I don’t anticipate oodles of truly free time. Asher has soccer tryouts the next two nights and Ethan has places to be, too. Oh well.
It’s still a nice little change in routine, but probably only because like I said, Ivan is very rarely away. Sounds like he had a great time in the Fresno area with his cousin for a couple days and is probably landing at LAX as we speak for his work thing the rest of the week.
Gotta run… time to drive an impromptu soccer carpool to help out another mom…
Daily Gratitude:
I am grateful for having a large refrigerator.
GRATEFUL KAE 
I totally get your “excitement” for being alone. I am the same now as the family is leaving this Friday. The freedom of doing whatever I want whenever I want is exciting, so I’m writing down a list of things to do.
we haven’t got plants yet for our condo, maybe that’s something I could do, although I have no idea of which plants are easy to care for.
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There’s nothing that I love more than hanging out with my husband, but yes a little solo time is a great balance. Right now he and my stepsons are on a week long Boy Scout trip, and I’m on vacation by myself. It’s fun, and the best part will be coming home and trading stories.
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I love this for you! I completely agree that *some* solo time is fabulous, and that it’s made fabulous by it not being the norm. Your fire pit and hot tub night sounds and looks incredible!
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I totally get wanting to be alone sometimes! I also think that by having a lot of things still going on, we (or at least I) actually schedule in the alone/me time and so are not just wasting free hours doing nothing and then later thinking that I never get enough time to do X! So good for you for putting the reading/fire pit/hot tub on your list and doing it! It is too easy to put off those little things we want to do! Enjoy the rest of your time alone; I am sure you will find other snippets of time to squeeze in your special things!
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Enjoy the time! I can relate – while I love having my husband home, I definitely make different uses for my time when he’s away. I get solo weeks regularly because he travels for work so frequently, so it’s not quite the same “novelty”, but it can provide a nice change of pace. I read A LOT more when he’s away because I literally watch zero media when he’s not home. Unfortunately…I also tend to stay up later, which isn’t ideal!
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Solo time is very nice! And it’s nice that you are in a stage of life where having Ivan gone over the weekend isn’t a big deal. We are not in that stage of life yet! That’s why I’m doing my girls trip in August from Sun-Thur. That way Phil only has one weekend day to fill. Week nights are not bad since our kids are in daycare and they are especially not bad in the summer since we can go outside after dinner. Winter week nights are harder when it’s dark and we are cooped up.
For the 4th of July, I decided I will take the boys to my parents Sat-Tues since they don’t have school mon/tues. Phil can’t take Monday off as it’s one of the busiest days of the month for him. I have to work, too, but it should be quiet so I’m hoping to just work on the morning and my parents can help with the boys during that time. I told Phil that if I was him, I would be THRILLED to have 3.5 days ALONE in the house. This NEVER happens. I am alone when I am working but I’m busy with work so it’s not like I’m enjoying being at home alone. He didn’t seem overly excited (because it’s not his personality to be overly excited…) and it sounds like he’ll try to use some of the time to work on house projects that are best to do without kids underfoot. But I would be doing a happy dance if I was him.
He’s only been gone for one work trip so I haven’t had the experience of being alone in the house as much as he has when I travel. We carpool to work so he’s basically my uber driver. 😉 So we get that time together in the morning and afternoon to talk about work and other things, and then we are all together managing the boys. But we usually watch something together before I go up to bed to read about 8:30-9. It probably sounds selfish that I opt to go up to bed to read for 45-60 min v hanging out with him, but it works for us! But I think Ivan gets home later, like 6pm, whereas Phil and I meet up around 4:15 – 4:30 to drive home.
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I also enjoy some “husband-free” time. I agree, there’s something nice about just doing what you want, without taking anyone else into consideration. My husband usually goes to bed before me, so when he’s not here I feel like it’s
very luxurious to read in bed before going to sleep (I’m usually in the living room so as not to disturb him.)
Having said that- I’m sure you feel the same way about this- I would NOT want to be a single parent! I seriously don’t know how people manage that. A few days or a week is fun- longer than that and life would get really hard.
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I’m the one who travels A LOT and I want to be alone in my house for a day or two. My hsuband and son went to London in the autumn, and I’m hoping to convince them to do a repeat. I got so much done and it was nice to be able to declutter, work without supervisio and interruption.
My neighbours did laugh when they found me working in the garden in the pouring rain, looking like a swamp creature, because I knew if I didn’t get my cutting back done then, it wouldn’t happen before spring. The shower I took afterwards was LOVELY.
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Agree with all of the above comments. I am a huge introvert, too, and alone time for me is like air. If I don’t get it I get prissy and cynical. When T travels for work (and it could be 3-4 weekdays at a time) I am filling my evenings with books and an occasional TV show. The kids are 3 and 5, so more manageable (they ran a bath for themselves yesterday!). When they were very little (6 months and 2.5 years) that was really rough. But now- very manageable and even enjoyable!
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Don’t feel guilty at all about the “husband-free” time. I think we all need it and crave it sometimes and it has nothing to do with not wanting our husbands around. It’s just nice sometimes to have your own space/time. I hope you enjoyed it to the fullest.
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I second San’s comment – no one should feel guilty about wanting spouse- or partner- or kid-free time. I love that you fully embraced it on Saturday when you had the time, vs. thinking that you needed to be “doing” something. Also? I am jealous of your hot tub. My only options would be public options – e.g., at a spa – and all I can think of is all the people who have been in them. That’s when an at-home hot tub is definitely the best option! 🙂
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