The other day (on the day of my watermelon explosion, to be precise), I decided that I was going to try to address an issue with someone about something that had been bothering me.
I thought (mistakenly) that just being direct about it might be better than stewing in silence. I thought (also mistakenly) that this person and I had the type of relationship that could handle a little frank honesty. I won’t go into any details- this is a public blog, after all.
But let’s just say…the other person didn’t agree. 😳
I have felt pretty terrible about the whole thing for a few days now. I HATE conflict. I especially am uncomfortable when I feel like someone is “mad” at me.
I was reminded of Thumper’s Golden Rule from Bambi:
“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.”
Realistically, I think I was wrong on this one. I should have kept my mouth shut. I didn’t have evil intentions at all, of course- I was just frustrated and felt the urge to sort of clear the air.
But it was one of those situations where nothing good was really going to come from it, so what was the point? I made things worse AND the original situation is still unchanged.
I should have said nothin’ at all.
Ah, well. Such is life. We all make mistakes. I apologized sincerely and there’s not much more I can do at this point. So, I’m trying to let it go, though it’s been hard for me.
My calendar entry yesterday was on point too. Funny how sometimes when we are worrying or stressed, the universe points little stepping stones in our direction.
4 thoughts on “Thumper’s Golden Rule”
Ugh, conflict is really tough… I can relate as I had an exchange with my parents last weekend about how they think I'm letting fear of covid prevent me from seeing my family. We had a back and forth exchange about this and it was really really tough (all over email as my it's hard for my mom to keep calm when talking about things we disagree about). It was really really hard and I cried a lot – pregnancy hormones don't help. I knew we were going to eventually have that discussion. We just don't see eye to eye on covid but I hate that she thinks I'm being unreasonable when I'm just following my doctor's recommendations and only seeing people outdoors/socially distanced since I'm high risk. Talking about it with Phil helped but it weighed on me for several days. Hopefully you and your friend can get past this interaction. Time seems to heal all wounds! When I talked to my parents this past Saturday (we facetime every week) things felt normal so I guess we've both gotten over it and have agreed to not discuss it. But dang conflict is hard! And I obv can't talk about this on my blog since my mom reads it… but it definitely majorly weighed on me last week.
nobody likes conflict. I think sometimes we want to talk about it or solve so we can get over with it. it's not so much about the conflict/person, but our desire to have it sort it out, resolved. I've had these quite a lot lately. When I do that, I try to be aware of the why (i want it to be resolved from my side, instead of wanting the conflict to be resolved), then after I act on it, try not to expect reciprocity as that part we cannot control. it doesn't always work, but it good to try at least. hope you feel better now.
I'm sorry that happened. That's a tough one. Any time family is involved it feels even worse and more personal. This whole covid thing is just a mess too and creates yet another thing for people to argue about. 🙂 I'm really glad that you guys had a good conversation and were able to pretend it didn't happen. lol. That is one perk though to a family argument- unless it's REALLY bad, odds are pretty good you will forgive each other sooner than later!!
I knew you'd have a good response to this one, Coco. 🙂 The hard part for me is always accepting that I can't control the other person's response, try as I might….