Whew, margin has felt low this week! Didn’t mean to not post for like 6 days.
The school year is off to the races now- Asher started on Tuesday, so now both are back.
Does anyone recall how I talked about how the boys doing school sports this fall instead of club sports = more space on the weekends, since HS sports are more “during the week” heavy? Well, I’m feeling the busy weeknights right now! Not saying it’s a bad thing; after years of club sports, I’m ready for the weekends to ease up a bit. But in general, my weekdays have been feeling LONG and FULL these last couple of weeks.
An example typical day:
- 0515 alarm, hit snooze
- 0530 finally get up, contacts in, teeth, face, dressed etc
- 0545 downstairs, make tea, check email, get situated
- 0555- 0640 time log update, check calendar/plan day/household admin, ideally read a few minutes or check blogs, respond to comments…these 40-50 minutes are some of my favorites of the day but they FLY BY
- 0640/0645-0700 go upstairs, talk to Ethan while he gets ready/ make him breakfast/unload dishwasher etc
- 0700-0730 (or more like ~0705-0735ish) Ethan leaves at 7, I walk Charlie
- 0735-0750 feed Charlie, talk to Asher a little, misc household tasks like straighten kitchen or take garbage out or eat my own breakfast, he leaves at 8
- 0800-0845 shower, get ready for day
- 0830-0900 range get to my desk. (If I have a 9 am meeting and/or am planning a lunch workout, then I aim for 0830 at desk)
- 0900-1300 work
- 1300- 1400 Lunch (exact timing varies depending heavily on meetings- could be 1300-1415 if hitting gym, or more like 30 minutes if just taking Charlie out/eating. Yesterday I cleaned out the refrigerator on my lunch break….sometimes I attempt to prep dinner…many days if I already had an appt/other interruption/need to end early, I don’t really even take a real lunch.
- 1400- 1700/1730 work
- 1730-1800 walk Charlie, who has probably been sleeping all afternoon and now really needs to move
- 1800- 1845 make dinner etc, Ivan picks up Asher at 6:15 from VB and Ethan should be home by 7ish from soccer practice –> *This would be like, the ideal-day situation. But in reality, it’s more like yesterday’s day:
- 1630 finish work a little early, race Charlie around the block to go potty
- 1645 leave for Asher’s VB game 37 minutes away, through downtown university campus traffic
- 1730- 1915 at volleyball. (game started late). Ivan met me there from work. Asher stays to watch Varsity game with his team, I drive home….
- 1915-2000 drive home while listening to a podcast, succumbing to a drive-thru on my way home bc starving. Tell myself I’m still going to go to the gym when I get home because I had a super busy/full work day (and had to end early for VB…) so couldn’t go during the day.
- 2015 arrive home, laugh… yeah I’m not going to the gym at 8:30 pm, who was I kidding? 🤣 I’m hilarious.
- 2030 talk to Ethan/ go on walk with Charlie, Ethan and Ivan
- 2100+ misc/ house/ Ivan picks up Asher from high school VB bus at 2130, I get ready for bed/Ethan in my room for a long time, talking about school stuff. *(On an average day, this window of time can vary- can be watching a show/ reading (not too often lately…), or often just RANDOM. Kids usually rotating between showering and chatting with us, I do misc stuff I didn’t get to earlier in day, clean up house, talk to Ivan, recently hanging out w/ Ivan’s mom… (she just left now though!), etc. Especially if worked all day + was gone all evening, I find this time gets sucked up with something we need to do, usually.)
- 2200-2230 try to get to bed somewhere in this range. Usually is more like 2230-2245….
Comments:
🔷 The only time I really feel like is potentially “unnecessary” time is the ~15 minutes I kind of hang out with each boy in the morning while they’re getting ready for school. But honestly, this time flies by, I think it’s important to connect briefly with them in the morning (especially with their long days….Asher left for school at 8 am and got home at 9:45 p.m.!), and, I’m usually doing some regular household stuff I need to do in that timeframe, anyway. (Like, feeding Charlie, straightening, dishes, wiping counters, sorting mail, etc.) So, this stays.
🔷 I wish I could get showered and ready more quickly than ~45 minutes, but I’ve tried, and I feel like I really can’t. I mean, I can sort of, in a pinch, but usually a safer, more realistic TOTAL estimate is 45 minutes, from start to totally finished with bathroom/ bedroom picked up, stuff put away, and at my desk. I also usually “need” to dry my hair everyday and wear some makeup or I do not feel presentable/like myself! (Sigh, wish I had naturally amazing skin and face and hair.)
🔷 Walking Charlie is also eating up a good hour of my day, and that’s before I even get to a formal workout! Could delegate one of these, yes…. But also, I have felt really good physically since I’ve started walking this much. So….hesitant to drop!
🔷 The less busy evenings can be a crapshoot- sometimes I’ll hit the gym then instead of squeezing earlier in day, for a more relaxed pace. If no evening plans, that may be a “slightly” more elaborate dinner evening. Lately there have not been a ton of “less busy evenings”….
🔷 That 2100-2200 block may look dispensable/ unnecessary, but I’m telling you, it just… happens. As you can see, there’s just not a ton of other margin, and we have no household help. So, random things have to get dealt with at some point! This is kind of the backup slot to keep our household functioning. Ivan often does the laundry in here, I fill out the raffle tickets a kid just handed me and write the check here, etc. OR, more commonly, it’s the “catch up with the kids” spot, now that they often don’t get home until 8-9 pm! (Or, another dog walk, if couldn’t after work.)
Anyway, that’s a basic outline of a current typical day around here. Ivan doesn’t get home usually until 6 or later. Spelling it all out, hopefully that’s a little explanation why I haven’t been quite as present in the blogosphere/ comment threads lately! I try, but clearly, there’s only so many hours in a day. 🙂
Will be back with more recent updates tomorrow + I *think* another Friday Fashion post! LOL! I have still been snapping outfit pics and adding to my little album. Definitely has helped me to be just a touch more thoughtful about what I’m going to wear, which has been a nice change of pace (even though I’m still not “dressing up” on a daily basis, I at least feel like I’m being slightly more intentional and broadening the rotation a little).
Here’s Asher’s 1st Day of School pic from Tuesday! Sounds like all is going well and he’s enjoying his new school!
Today Ethan has another home soccer game…it’s an old school tradition that they have to dress up in a white collared shirt, khakis, and a matching school-colors tie on game days. So cute! haha. I’m sure the boys all love it. 😉 I unfortunately didn’t get a pic of Ethan on his way out the door. Going to be a long day for him today too. He backed out of the driveway at 7 am sharp, has school until 3:30, warmups etc, then JV game at 5:00 and Varsity game 7-8:30. He probably won’t be home until after 9! 🥵
Oh, and here’s a random chuckle… not sure why but this made me laugh out loud. Yes, why are there so many things and so many surfaces?!
Daily Gratitude:
I am grateful for my mother-in-law’s safe flight home the other day to Mexico. It was time. 🙂 🧡 🙃
GRATEFUL KAE 
“It was time.” LOLOLOLOL. I can so understand that sentiment!! It was a LONG visit and that is tough when it’s not your family!
Your days are very busy! Mine feel full, too, but are very different from yours since I’m in a different stage of life. Being in the office makes for a less flexible schedule as we need to be out the door at 7. I get up at 6 since I can wear my hair curly during these warmer summer-like months. The boys get up at 6:20ish so they can eat breakfast/get dresses/brush teeth. But there is so much active management so I am typically completely ready before waking them up. When I wear my hair straight, I get up around 5:50 since I have to blowdry it.
I’ve struggled to fit runs in this week with back-to-school. I did my long 8 mile run on Monday and haven’t done anything since. I might get up at 5;30 tomorrow and run. This summer I would run on Friday mornings after dropping Paul at the summer program around 7 but during the school year he takes the bus so I need to be around until 8 but then if I ran at 8 I wouldn’t be able to start work until 9ish which is VERY LATE in my industry… But I could possibly do that as my first call is at 10 tomorrow. And I probably earned a late start because I’m going to Charlotte next week where I’m moderating 2 panels, attending 2 client dinners, and then I have 31 client calls on top of that as it’s a week when our sales people are encouraged to book a bunch of meetings… I kind of want to cry when I look at my schedule. So I don’t know how I will jam a run in next week… but my race is on Saturday so it probably doesn’t really matter? I was hoping for a nice cool race morning but we’ll have highs in the 80s next week and the high next Sat is 91!! So I am preparing myself for a slow, disappointing run (not that I was expecting to run a fast race…).
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I feel like those 15 min talking to the boys are precious. I also have a packed day but really try to spend time with the girls. I get to spend more time with lizzy as she comes home earlier, and I try to leave office by 4pm. Sofia comes home late most of the days and has homework to do. I try to be with her while she does homework, even physical presence helps to comfort her somehow. yes, margins for our solo time are minimal, except mornings and when I’m at the office, but this is just a phase and we will be over it soon
walking Charlie also sounds like could or should not be eliminated as you enjoy walking outdoor and it’s a good time to take a breath for the day, no?
Maybe try to have space on weekends to recharge, at least not to have a schedule and long to do list?. that mental space helps to feel more relaxed. Our no plan Sundays are very therapeutic.
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My best friend and I say “no slack!” in those moments where it feels like there’s no room for anything to go wrong. Our days are pretty packed – both working full time, long commute for me when I’m in the office, wrapround care but it always feels like we’re watching the clock. Thankfully our evenings are pretty mellow as T is too little for too many activities.
I think the relationship you have with your boys is so commendable. They seem to really enjoy time with you and Ivan, and those evening chats are lovely.
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Definitely do not get rid of those 15 minutes where you connect with the boys! That could be the most important part of your day.
I’m impressed that you get up an hour before you “have” to! I totally get why you do it- you need that time to yourself- but I would be so tempted to sleep until 6:30. And- never in a million years would I get myself to the gym at 8:30 pm. It just wouldn’t happen. I’m glad you’re getting in your walks and feeling good! I know some days must feel incredibly busy- but you’re making it all work.
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Life is just…so busy. So many moving parts, especially as kids get older. I’m so glad you’re still carving out those walks with Charlie. I agree with Coco – it sounds like those mean a lot to you mentally and physically which is awesome.
Would you consider hiring some help for the cleaning responsibilities? Even a few hours a week (or every other week) could make a huge difference. To enter the weekend and NOT have to clean bathrooms or mop the floors might make everything feel just a bit more manageable. Or if that’s not the biggest pain point, hiring someone to do some yardwork.
I know it’s tough to spend the money when technically it’s work we can do ourselves, but in the past we have had someone help with cleaning and someone help with mowing the lawn. At this point we don’t but I would 100% consider it again if life got really crazy.
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I have no idea if this is helpful to anyone else but me- but I think identifying life-giving/ nonessential parts of your day *as* margin could be helpful. Like, we all know we are supposed to have margin. But if you have identified times with your boys and walking your dog as things that aren’t exactly musts but they are musts for you, maybe that is some of your margin. It doesn’t mean you are not extremely busy in this season! But possibly telling yourself you do have some margin would make you feel less stressed.
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This post made me feel seen. As you may know, my kids are not in high school, they are Lisa’s age kids but holy hell, there are no margins. Especially when T is traveling. Sleep, get ready completely before they wake up, get them ready, out the door by 6:45-7, two drop offs, drive to work, work, two pick ups, drive home, dinner, baths, books, bed. Yesterday they were in bed by 7:15. I was in bed by 7:30. Ugh… I’ve also been so behind of reading/commenting. Want to catch up this weekend.
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Phew, you have a really full day. Where exactly did you fit in writing this long blog post? (Honestly, it take me so long to put a blog post together sometimes that I need a chunk of time to do it.) I am not surprised that there’s not much of a margin.
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Lack of margin stinks. On the other hand? You’re building in time walking – often with others. You’re building in time with your boys, and time for yourself. It’s busy, for sure – and I don’t know that I could deal with the same level of activity. But you’ll get through it and I imagine that someday, these memories will be some of your most treasured ones.
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