I just wrote a whole post blabbing on about feeling discombobulated today and some things that weren’t working and what the potential causes were.
And then I deleted the whole post.
I don’t know, it was annoying me to even read about it. So if I don’t want to read about it, why would you? Haha. Part of it was puppy/schedule/crate training related, and a majority of you also probably don’t really care about that, either.
The gist is that I am trying to play Schedule Tetris I think, and my blocks simply don’t really fit.
Anyway, since I already wrote and deleted a whole post, we’ll keep Version 2.0 short and sweet today.
Some positive things….
Asher’s swim meet was held at a gorgeous, brand new facility:
I’m going to admit it- when I got there, I spotted a bunch of parents from our team headed to one side of the bleachers, and I intentionally headed in the opposite direction and found a spot WAY up top, totally alone. Haha. It was a long meet and I have been highly overstimulated lately in my life. My executive functioning feels like it’s totally on the fritz.
As nice as it is to chit-chat, I really just wanted some quiet downtime in between watching Asher’s events. I purposefully did nothing else of any real value besides just read my book.
Also, Charlie learned how to take selfies:
LOL. Just kidding, obviously. Ethan was home with him for a while and he had the camera set up. He texted me and said to check the camera app, and this is what I saw. Awww….. 🥰
Daily Gratitude:
I am grateful for the existence of blurred backgrounds on virtual meetings. It’s really nice to not have to worry about making whatever’s behind you perfectly presentable all the time.
GRATEFUL KAE 
Even though you deleted the original post, I hope writing it all down made you feel a little better… I know what the “schedule Tetris” feels like (and I am sure it’s 100% inflated for you with your job and kids and Charlie, so I don’t envy you at all. I hope it all gets worked out – it always does ;))
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Yes, it kind of made me feel better, and kind of not. I think it just sounded “whiny” on paper and didn’t come across clearly anyway, so no sense in pulling the blogosphere into it all! haha.
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Ha ha… I can TOTALLY RELATE to wanting to sit by yourself at the swim meet! I did the same thing the last time I went to the high school football game. Life is exhausting enough without trying to watch a game and also carry on a conversation while doing it. Sitting at the top of the bleachers with a book sounds like heaven.
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The swim meets are long, too. And there is a LOT of downtime, considering your kid only swims for like, 1-2 minutes at a time. haha. So it really is a good opportunity to just chill for a bit. 😉
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I can relate! To all the deleted posts, to all of the schedule tetris days, and especially to all the “I cannot even, Ima sit by myself on the bleachers” days.
The easy part is that Charlie will grow up and be nothing but happy to see you 24/7. The rest of life…well, hey it’s day by day.
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Glad to hear I’m not alone in these thoughts/ feelings!! 🙂
I feel like Charlie is overall good, but it’s just constant!! As cute as “puppy” stage is, I think I will maybe love having a “dog” even more. 😉 It’s tough to have my entire life revolve around him right now…
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I would have done the same, not helpful to keep thinking negative things. Charlie will take selfie in no time.
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Right. I had to just pull the plug! lol.
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I’m not sure how old Charlie is, but my dog finally settled down from puppy to dog at about 3 years old. Hang in there. I totally feel you on the blog post, the scheduling, and wanting some time with your book at the swim meet. So relatable.
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Oof, 3 years?!?! 😩 That sounds… very far away. Haha. But on the whole, I already see glimpses and times when he just hangs in the kitchen or will just sit and chew on a toy etc. Something to look forward to! Right now it’s just been very “go go go” with him- and I kind of feel like a prisoner in my home. It’s hard to do much/ go anywhere without thinking about his crate schedule, if he needs more exercise, what he’s doing, etc.
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Sometimes all the negativity and the complaint needs to leave the system so writing it all down has hopefully helped.
It looks like it has since your wrote a second post and started with something positive. I find it totally legit to stay clear of people if you need some alone time. We cant always be socializing.
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I think it helped me to realize that I need to probably enlist my husband’s help to figure out some household scheduling conflicts. I think I’m trying to manage too much on my own instead of getting the rest of the family on board!
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Oh, it’s like rage journaling! I went through a period in my life where most of my journal entries were venting about something or other. And then I got a blog (just kidding!!!) I actually kept a written journal for a long time and now that I am mentioning that, maybe it is time to go back and read some of the entries… Most of them were preblogging and many of them were travel related but it would be fun to see what my thoughts were then.
So it is probably good that you got it out, even if you did not post it. Also I watch my friend K’s daughters play soccer and lacrosse and I kind of like that I don’t know everyone so I can just be the incognito person when I want to! That pool is HUGE and there are SO MANY spectators! The soccer games normally only have a couple dozen parents for each team!
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Haha, “rage journaling”. Great phrase!! I used to keep an online journal for a bit too but also found I really only went to it when I wanted to vent about something. I am not sure if that’s good or bad- probably neither. I think maybe when I started my blog, I wanted to have it focused on gratitude- to maybe help prevent some of that spiraling that can happen, naturally!
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Ha – I am definitely a “vent” blogger. If it makes you feel any better, I find it DOES help to post those sometimes and I think it makes readers feel so seen because, honestly, we’re all just trying to keep it together.
That pool looks gorgeous and Charlie is as cute as ever 🙂
Hope this week is going alright for your mom; thinking of her a lot and praying for a quick recovery!
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Yes, totally nothing wrong with a good vent post and I think it can be helpful to both reader and writer! But I just felt like “BLAH this is no good” when I was done. Haha. Sometimes when the issues are kind of hard to explain, it just doesn’t lend itself well to a short blog post. Certain things are a big deal to the person they affect (i.e. me), but don’t really….translate well, I guess, to everyone else!
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Oh, well, we’ve all done the deleting the whole whiny post, haven’t we? Sometimes it does feel better to just get out of your brain, though, even if it never sees the light of day. It will get easier with Charlie, I promise. He’s just a baby, but someday he won’t be a baby anymore!
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You keep saying this, Engie, so I’m gonna believe you!! 😊 Love my little puppy so much but also looking forward to a nice, calm, cozy dog one day. 😉
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Well, they do say they stay puppies for two years, so it may take a bit! 😉 Be patient with him.
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You are definitely in the the weeds right now with a puppy on top of an already busy life! This, too, shall pass but it’s ok to feel frustrated and overwhelmed. That’s basically how I’ve felt for the last 3 years. Ha. I’m just one tantrum away from losing it. Ha.
It makes sense to seek out some peace and quiet at the meet. You have enough stimulus as is!
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Oh, you are definitely in the weeds right now! Maybe starting to come out. But yeah, those toddler years are rough. It is hard to keep patient, isn’t it. I feel that way right now sometimes too even with the puppy! Like, why aren’t you listening to me?!?! Argh!! hahaha.
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Yes. Schedule Tetris. And I have a half-written whining post that I may still publish, but may not. Sometimes the whining feels good and it can be useful to put it out there for validation and commiseration, and sometimes it just feels like dumping emotional clutter onto the blog. At least that’s how it is for me, anyway. Although I am happy to read complaining any time, and to offer validation and commiseration! That is a gorgeous swimming facility. And Charlie is so cute !
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Who among us has NOT written a whiny post, either on our blogs, or in our journals? You are clearly among friends. 🙂 Also? I would totally have climbed to the top of the bleachers on the other side AND pretended I never, ever saw them. Don’t make eye contact. That’s the trick. 😉
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