It has finally arrived today…. my big 4-0!
I have been thinking about this for a while now, because I am a little bit younger than many/most of my friends. Ivan and my sister both also turned 40 a couple years ago now.
In a way I think this has sort of helped “prepare” me mentally for turning 40. (“Ooooohhhhhh“. It’s supposed to be kind of “scary”, right?)
I have found myself in this last year referring to myself as “almost 40” often, to the point that I almost feel like I’ve been practicing being 40. 😉
Generally speaking, I think I am really fine with this milestone birthday!! I don’t have a big profound post prepared here at all, but off the top of my head, I can think of several great reasons to celebrate being 40.
Reasons being 40 is great
1) The most obvious one: any time you are celebrating another birthday, you are, by default, not, um, dead yet. So, yay!!! 😆
2) I feel a LOT more confident and sure of who I am at this point in my life. I have never been the most confident person. Even as a child, I was tentative, easily embarrassed, nervous to speak up in groups or call much attention to myself, etc. I don’t think I will ever be the “life of the party”, so to speak, or the person leading the congo line. But I feel like I have developed a quiet confidence. I am more sure of what I want. I doubt myself (less). I can accept more easily that I don’t like everyone, and everyone doesn’t have to like me! I feel less worried/ care less about what other people are thinking about me.
3) I feel a little (maybe odd?) sense of relief about being 40.
When I turned 30, I remember feeling like 30 was still quite young. In my 30s, or especially early-mid 30’s, I felt some maybe imaginary/self-imposed pressure that I was still supposed to look and act young and modern. I wasn’t supposed to really have wrinkles or stray grey hairs or “look like a mom” or dress frumpy or anything like that. Not yet. I was only in my 30’s!
But the reality is, small things DO start changing in your 30s. (Or at least for me.)
I remember being appalled by the sudden appearance of several unsightly spider veins on my thigh in my early 30s that had definitely never been there before. My face, at that point after years of raising young kids and working long hospital shifts and experiencing life’s stressors and perpetually not getting enough sleep, did not have that bright, fresh-faced look I’d had in my 20s.
It’s like your 30’s are this weird interim period where you’re not really old, but you’re not really truly young anymore, either. For me, it was kind of challenging to balance some of those thoughts and feelings.
But now in my 40’s, I feel like it’s kind of game over!!
Now, I’m NOT saying that people in their 40’s have to look old or be frumpy or should “let themselves” go, if they don’t want to.
But I am definitively a “ma’am” and not a “miss” anymore at the grocery store. I don’t get carded if I order a beer. (lol). Pretty sure none of the boys’ school friends think I’m their older sister. You get the idea.
I’m “old(er)” now, and it’s obvious, and that’s fine! It is actually easier, I think, compared with that kind of grey zone I felt in my 30’s. I still put on my retinol at night and try to look nice and prefer to hopefully continue looking as healthy and, I guess, as “young” as possible, but it feels like a little weight off. (Not that there’s anything magical with 40 vs 39, anyway! But in my head, anyway.)
I feel like I am in the stage now where I can say things like, “Well, I don’t look bad… for 40!” 🤣 That little disclaimer on the end is like a secret little get-out-of-jail free card. LOL.
(The whole debate about why I am even thinking about these superficial things like wrinkles or spider veins or why women have to feel any sort of external “pressure” to look a certain way at a certain age in the first place is probably a post for another day…..)
4) Life is much more settled now at 40 than it was before. Our careers are more established, we’re better off financially than 20 years ago, we have a cozy home for our family, we travel to cool places, and our kids are settled into their lives and school and activities…. In my 20s-30s, life felt a lot more chaotic. (In part due to my old work schedule, but just in general.) Teenagers are easier than toddlers. We’ve learned things along the way, and life in general makes more sense once you have more experience under your belt.
5) I appreciate life in a different way now. I look back on younger years where I wonder sometimes what I was thinking. I was so wrapped up in my new job, a young marriage, young kids that sometimes I think certain things slipped between the cracks, that I now regret. Why wasn’t I there when my parents moved out of my childhood home?? What was I so busy with that I couldn’t go back to help and say goodbye to my beloved house?? Why didn’t I drive more often to see my grandma before she died??
I think I now have more breathing room in my life to reflect and pay attention to what’s really important. (Kind of- I still feel like we are really busy and my mind is not always at ease.) But I NOTICE things differently now. I don’t think I’m as self-absorbed and wrapped up in myself anymore as I was when the kids were little and I was younger. I am more aware of what really matters in life. I notice the stars and the pretty leaves and appreciate a cozy blanket and a good conversation. I understand more deeply how fleeting life actually is!
There are probably a million other great reasons to embrace being 40, too! It’s still a bit hard to wrap my mind around… I remember turning 10, which was 30 years ago. I still remember when my parents turned 40!!! But such is life. The wheels keep spinning (hopefully!), and the train keeps moving forward….
I am excited for my 40s. In this decade, God willing, we should be seeing our boys graduate from high school and go off to college! We will become empty nesters. (omg!). Hopefully we’ll get to watch our boys’ lives unfold and see them discover their own interesting, happy paths, while we discover new ones of our own, too.
If you’re in your 40’s or beyond, tell me what your favorite thing is about your 40s!! What do I have to look forward to?
AND, if you are a regular reader but never comment…. LEAVE ME A BIRTHDAY COMMENT and say hi!!! 😉 That would be such a gift to me! ❤ (You can even stay anonymous if you want! 😉 )
*Here are some pics from my pre-birthday celebration! We went out Sunday night to see Broadway’s Aladdin downtown and out to dinner. It was sooooo good!!! Honestly one of my favorites I think! Highly, highly recommend!!
Daily Gratitude:
I am grateful for 40 years of life!! And I’m grateful for all of the people in it (especially my parents and family) who have been alongside every step of the way, making it wonderful.
GRATEFUL KAE 
Happy birthday Kae!
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Thank you!!
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Happy birthday to you! Love this ✉️ – such a sense of peace and gratitude for turning 40.
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Thanks! Yes, I had some mixed feelings a while back, but feeling really just fine- or better than fine!- now. 🙂
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Happy Birthday!!! You’re just a kid at 40 tho;-)
But seriously, the confidence and the security that comes with this age is priceless. I wouldn’t turn back the clock for anything.
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Certainly seems like wisdom does come with age! Which I guess we always knew, but yet when younger, we somehow also thought we knew it all…. hahaha.
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Happy birthday, Kae! I so enjoyed your reflections and optimistic, grateful outlook on life. I am turning 40 in two months so all of these thoughts and reflections are on my mind as well. Maybe I’ll do a similar post with my own 40-year-old wisdom. Thank you for sharing your life and gratitude on your blog, and cheers to fabulous new decade!
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Thanks Kelsey! Happy early birthday to you! I’m happy to lead the charge and pave the way for you. 😉 Looking forward to reading your reflections! I know they will be deep and insightful.
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Happy birthday! Here’s to your best decade yet!
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Thank you! YES! I hope so!!!!
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Happy birthday!! I don’t think I realized you weren’t 40 yet – you’re YOUNG!! (I say as someone turning 42 – I think?? – in December). I absolutely love this phase of life. The 30s were filled with quite a bit of stress, I think – money stress, mostly the stress of parenting young kids, stress about working and finding the career I wanted, etc – and 40s just feel SO much more settled. I really enjoy the ages/stages of my kids (which isn’t so much related to my age, but just that I had them between 28-34 for me, so now they are older and I like that better lol), I love feeling a lot more stable in my career and financially, etc. I’ve always been pretty confident and not super bothered by trying to act/look young so now I can FULLY embrace being middle aged. YAY!!! Glad you had a fun celebration and hope your day is awesome!!
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The age of the kids really has a huge impact! I had my kids quite young, so I feel like my late 20s were a total blur. Maybe I would have felt differently about my 30s, too, if I hadn’t had kids yet at that point…? Like maybe if you don’t have kids in your 30s yet you feel much younger, without the sleepless nights and toddler wrangling? Not sure. But I agree that those early years naturally come with a lot of stress. The older kids can be stress inducing too, but at least they don’t encroach so much on things like personal space or my basic needs. Haha!
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Happy birthday and welcome to the 40 club!! I joined myself last month and a lot of your reflections rings true for me, as well. Thanks so for sharing. Cheers to the best decade yet! 🙂
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Thank you! You seem to be absolutely thriving in your early 40s now, too, so that’s a great sign for me. 🙂 Seems like I’m hearing nothing but rave reviews about 40s which is so exciting!
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Yay! Happy birthday! Your birthday celebration sounds like a lot of fun — so glad you got to spend it with the people you love! I’m nearly 43 and your comments about feeling more settled and less worried about superficial things ring so true! I hope this is the beginning of an excellent decade for you. 🙂
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Thanks Suzanne!! It takes a long time to lose those “superficial things worries”, and maybe they never totally go away, but I can sense that it slows down at least, with age. yay!
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Happy birthday! As a 44 year old, my favorite thing definitely aligns to what you mention above but I say it as “giving zero efffs” haha about opinions of others because my sense of self is strong and I have much less to prove than at younger ages. This applies to how I parent, work, live, etc. You do you and owning it in your 40’s is glorious!
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Haha! I have a feeling you were always someone who was pretty good at giving zero effs. 😉 Happy to hear you are loving your 40s!
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Happy Birthday! Thanks for sharing your reflections on 40. I’m the same age as you but my kids are much younger. I enjoy getting a peek at life with older kids through your blog.
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Yes, I had my kids young!! I think this surprises a lot of people. 🙂 I also love following blogs where people have kids a bit older than mine. It’s like a sneak preview. 😉
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Happy birthday! I love your blog but am not usually a commenter. I just turned 40 in September and can relate to many of your advantages to this age.
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Hey Jenn!! Thanks for commenting!!!!! yay!! Happy happy 40th to you, too! Cheers to us ’83 babies. 🙂
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Happy happy birthday and welcome to an amazing decade! I’m over 2 years in and it’s been great. I turned 40 in Feb 2021 – so Will was 2 months. Now stop and picture yourself with a 2 month old right now…. It was a little bit of a different birthday, especially since it was still peak pandemic time and vaccines weren’t broadly available yet. So it was kind of a non-event so that means I’ll really have to whoop it up for my 50th!!
Similar to you, I like my 40s because I’m more confident in who I am, how to dress myself, whose opinions to care about, etc. I have always been a bit of an old soul, so staying up late and partying in college and my 20s was not my thing. Now I’m totally unapologetic about the fact that I prefer an earlier get together and to be in bed with a book by 9. In other words, I’m not “traditionally” fun, but I’ve found a community of people who have a similar lifestyle and enjoy afternoon/early evening hangs when we do get together. I cringe at the late 20s phase of going to the bar at 9pm! Yaaaaawn.
Enjoy all the Charlie snuggles!! And all the love you’ll receive from family! And you for sure look amazing – flat out with no disclaimer needed… but you look especially amazing for 40!
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I know you’ve talked before about loving your 40s! Thank you for your messages on my birthday and for your friendship! And no thanks, but I’m ok not envisioning myself was a 2 month old right now. LOL!! Charlie is tough enough!!! haha!
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! 40s . . . might be my favorite decade? Maybe? WELCOME to the club 🙂 🙂 🙂
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Thank you!! I am LOVING everyone raving about their 40’s!!!
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Happy Birthday!! (signed an anonymous reader 🙂
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Another regular reader but non commenter. Happy birthday! I’m only two years older but my kids are younger (oldest is 12, youngest is 2) so I won’t be joining the empty nest club with you this decade! I definitely agree with your reflections on feeling more comfortable in your own skin at this age. Hope you have a fabulous year.
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Thanks Another Canadian!!! (LOVING THE CANADA LOVE HERE! woohoo!!) You have a bigger spread! I think that’s fascinating. Mine are so close together it’s almost like… one age. haha. On the one hand, it’s nice to get through the stages in one fell swoop. But on the other hand, it all goes that much faster! Maybe you get to really savor the childhood years since for you they will last much longer than for me.
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Thank you J! And thanks for the comment!! 🎉🎉
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Awww. Well this was just a delightful read. You look gorgeous – as always – and what a sweet family, including the newest addition, Charlie.
Also, we went to see the Aladdin show and Broadway and isn’t it THE BEST?! I loved it (my husband was Meh about it), but I thought it was superb and would totally go see it again!! I really appreciated all the humor in it and, at least in NYC, I thought all the special effects were great. Ah, I love musical theatre. And so nice your parents could be there, too.
What an incredible year you’ve had with Costa Rica, the cruise, Charlie, was a trip to Mexico in 2023, too? Gosh. So much fun stuff and many amazing things to come.
Hugs, friend ❤
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Thanks Elisabeth! I remember that you went to see Aladdin in NYC! (I can’t believe John was meh about it?! With all the fun humor I would think he’d love that, being a funny guy… But to each their own!). We almost saw it on Broadway too some years back, but then ended up deciding on School of Rock since the boys were younger and that one has all the kids in the cast. SO SO fun. We have a lot of good shows coming to town this year!
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Happy birthday! I have LOVED my 40s and the self-confidence that comes with knowing who I am and what my priorities are. I can tell it’s going to be a great decade for you.
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Thanks!! Exactly- it does seem like with time some of the “less important” priorities can fall off to the way side. 🙂
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Happy birthday! Feliz cumpleanos! Joyouse anniversare! I probably spelled at least one of those wrong but you get the drift!!!
I especially relate to your #2 in that I am still a shy introvert but now I know what I do know and am okay saying that and I still know that there are things that I don’t know and u am okay saying that too!! Also I have found friends who know the real me and don’t have to try so dang hard to be someone else anymore. So I am glad you are also there!
I am going to look up Aladdin right now to see if it’s showing near me. My family would love it!
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I love that about finding friends who know the real you! Yes. That’s amazing.
And definitely go see Aladdin!! It was so fun. Recently when my parents were here we watched the movie to refresh their memory on it all (it came out when I was a kid and I watched it a million times, so I know it like the back of my hand). But it was fun to watch the movie, then go see the show, etc.
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Happy Birthday, Kae!
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Thank you so much!!! ♥♥
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Happy Birthday, Kae! Squeaking it in at the last hour. I hope it is a year of full of delight!
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Hehe, thanks Eileen! This was a fun last-minute comment notification at the end of my day! 😉
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happy birthday Kae!!! these are great reflections. what I found surprising about in my 40s (turning 43 in december) is that it’s not as scary as I thought would be. The biggest change is obviously appearance, which I feel like I stopped caring as much. It’s like shifting perspective to appreciate what REALLY matters, and let those that don’t go and not occupy any space in our mind. It’s liberating to not care about the aging process. Also, I find time flies by faster each year, which makes me even more urgent wanting to appreciate and live every day, every moment, with my loved ones.
oh… you do look great for a 40 years old 🙂
please share how you celebrated it and what gifts you got.
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Thanks Coco! I feel like I’ve watched a lot of my blog friends turn 40 also in the last few years, so that has helped, too, to see how you guys are all loving it! Agree about time flying faster each year. It’s a bit scary sometimes!! Wish it could slow down just a little….
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I just recently got back to reading more blogs again and I am glad it’s in time to wish you happy birthday! I think the 40s have a lot to offer (coming from someone who is at the other end of the 40s). Yes to all the things you mentioned. For me the 40s also meant making peace with past decisions and events what was a real life changer.
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Thank you!! Ooh, I love that about making peace with past decisions. I should take that advice. I don’t really sit and dwell on the past, either, but definitely have some things that I kind of wish I had done differently, etc. Really like the idea of just making peace with that the past is the past and anyway, everything has shaped me into who I am today. So no sense in wishing it all away.
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Happy birthday Kae!!
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Thanks Nina! 🙂 🙂
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Oh happy birthday! What a special one it is, too. Welcome to your 40s! It’s fabulous here! I have loved my 40s so much, and for all the reasons you mention – it’s time to embrace yourself, it’s come as you are, it’s no longer hearing “miss” but instead hearing “ma’am!” I feel now at 48 that I’m definitely entering the second half of my life, and while I have regrets about things in the past, there’s no time to dwell. Time to move forward! Every day a fresh opportunity. So happy birthday and yay for 40!
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You are the epitome of someone who embraces their 40s (and life in general)! You’re so open and amazingly refreshing and honest about the ups and downs and I love it! I can tell through your posts that you really do love your 40s and I hope I can follow in your footsteps. 🙂
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Happy Birthday! I recently started following along after your Upper Peninsula posts—I live in Michigan but have yet to get all the way up there, ha. I’m glad it was a wonderful time, and that you’ve also enjoyed your birthday! Best wishes to you! 🎉
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Hi! Thank you and welcome! Glad my U.P. posts could offer some inspiration…. ohhh it’s so beautiful there! I really hope you get up there asap! You will love it.
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Wishing you lots of happiness, good health, and personal fulfillment in the year ahead. Longtime reader. I admire the life you’re creating: balancing professional and personal life demands, prioritizing family, maintaining a safe welcoming home, modelling healthy living, and committing to your personal wellness. You should be very proud! Especially admire the many opportunities you and Ivan are providing your boys. Reading your trip reports I often wonder if the boys realize all the planning work that you do to enable such rich adventures. They’re so very lucky! Happy Birthday!
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Thank you so very much!! This comment means SO much to me. ❤
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Happy Birthday! I still have a couple years to go before I hit 40.
I’ve never commented, but often read 🙂
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Thank you! I will lead the way for you here 😉 Seems like everyone says it’s great, so, I guess it’s something for you/us to look forward too! (Thank you for reading, and for the comment! 🙂 )
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Happy birthday! I rarely comment but love to read your blog.
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Hi Sara, thank you so much!!!
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Happy birthday!!!! I also rarely comment but love to read your blog.
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Thank you for the birthday wishes! And thanks for coming out of the shadows to say HI! 🙂
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! I love birthdays- just another way to celebrate the fact that you’re still alive. And, there’s actually research that shows women get happier as they get older. 40s are better than 30s, and- believe it or not- 50s are better than 40s! I’ll check back in a few years to tell you about 60s (eep!)
I love the photo with Charlie- the best (early) birthday present ever.
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Thank you Jenny!! I love following your story as someone just a bit further down the path from me. 🙂 That’s so amazing to hear about your 50s!! woohoo!
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Happy birthday! I don’t think I’ve commented before, but enjoy your blog!
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Thank you Ali!! Thanks so much for the comment too! ❤
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Happy birthday Kae! So glad you had a great celebration and are moving into this new year and phase of life with so much positivity… and gratitude of course! ❤
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Thank you!! Yes, a whole new decade to embark on…. exciting! It’s like New Years, but even better. 😉
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Happy Birthday! I love reading all the birthday wishes that have been left here in the comments celebrating you.
I was just reading an article about how people hit their career peak in their late 40s, but we are all fed this story (by the media, by society, by our own sense of impatience) that one is supposed to achieve big work milestones in one’s twenties/thirties. I think the thing I’ve realized in my 40s is that there is still a lot of life still to be had, and that my career can move at a slower pace than I had thought it ought to move when I was younger.
Also my 40s was when I realized that I needed to start exercising and taking care of my body because my metabolism is not doing my body the favors it used to. I didn’t realize how much I coasted on youth and good genetics until I hit 40.
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Thanks Diane! And yes… I really, really wish I had paid more attention to things like skin care when I was much younger!!!
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Happy belated birthday, Kae… and welcome to your 40s. It’s nice on the other side of 40 and I love that you’re already feeling the “upsides” of reaching this milestone.
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Thank you San!! 🙂
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Hi and Happy (belated) Birthday from a blog reader! I so enjoy reading about your gorgeous and amazing family as well as your thoughts and musings. I turned 50 this year and it is hitting me way harder than turning 40 did. Not exactly sure why but somehow now it is hitting me that I am officially old! So you are still young to me. So many things to look forward to!
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Thank you! And I can understand what you’re saying. I feel like society has been working hard to reframe “40s” as “not actually old yet”, but the truth is, eventually SOME age has to be “old”. Haha. So I can see how 50 can suddenly sound “older”. But, some other commenters have said that 40s are great and 50s even better!! So hopefully that will hold true for you, too. 🙂
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Happiest birthday to you. I turned 40 last year and had a wonderful celebration of life. I was excited to turn 40 and didn’t really understand how so many people were anxious about it. I hope the next decade will be a wonderful one.
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