COVID, Household, travel

Let It Be

After writing the post yesterday about the “new normal”,  I had COVID on the brain a little bit on and off all day. As you know, I’ve tried (and mostly have succeeded) to feel pretty okay about all of this- I have been trying to focus a lot on the positives and have actually enjoyed the slow down in many ways. 

Good news! One monthly goal accomplished- we did a puzzle. It was a pretty wimpy puzzle, but hey, it was a puzzle.

But the truth is, there are some big bummers for our family too. To name a few big ones:

spring soccer seasons cancelled 
          Just super disappointing for the boys, who both love to play. It’s been part of our lives for years now, so it’s weird and sad to have no sidelines to sit at this season.

Asher’s swim season indefinitely cancelled AND the big long course State meet in July has already been cancelled
          This one is so hard. Asher loves to swim and has gotten pretty good at it. He had already qualified for the State competition in July and was really looking forward to (finally) being “top of his age group” for it. The age divisions are 10 and under, then 11-12. He will be 10 1/2 this summer, so on the older side of the 10&Under group. This past February he qualified too, but had just turned 10, so many kids were older than he. By the time the next State rolls around, he will have aged up to the next group, the times get harder to qualify for and if he does, he would be the bottom of the barrel again. This summer was supposed to be “his time to shine”. So, he’s really disappointed. Not to mention, there is no way to train for swimming if the pools are closed. (At least for soccer they can go outside and still kick a ball around…) 

vacations cancelled and no idea when we can travel again
          Some people may know that we had a big trip planned over spring break to Europe. We were supposed to visit my sister, who lives in Ireland, followed by time in Paris and Amsterdam. I spent months planning this trip, making reservations, itineraries…It was going to be epic. Well, the virus hit right before we were supposed to leave, causing basically pandemonium in our household as we tried to figure out what to do. 

          We ended up rescheduling for August and went to Ivan’s parent’s house in Mexico instead (which was mostly unaffected at that time). August seemed like a sure bet back then when we picked the new dates. We, of course, had NO IDEA where this was all going to go and how extreme this would get. Now, the idea of traveling around Europe in August is seeming….unlikely. I get a headache just thinking about attempting to move or cancel it again. The extenuating circumstances cancellation policy for our ($$$ and already paid for..) Air BnB in Paris doesn’t extend into August (yet). So I am not even sure if or when they will let us cancel. I am just so disappointed. This trip was really, really important to us and it’s honestly heartbreaking to have it ripped out from under us, again. 

          We love to travel and our trips are always a major highlight of our year. If we could at least somehow KNOW when things would be back to normal and could plan trips for then, I feel like it would help to have something guaranteed to look forward to. This uncertainty is so draining and sad. (I repeat my disclaimer from yesterday- I know this is definitely a “first world problem” and a tiny one in the grand scheme of COVID problems. But, the fact of the matter is, I’m still disappointed, so, it’s still real). 

my work hours being cut
          Obviously, any time financial security or stability is threatened, it’s stressful. For now we are okay with my required 30% hours reduction, but I have no idea where this is headed. Will we bounce right back to full time after the 8 weeks? Will it decrease further? Will it extend longer (that’s my hunch, but I have no idea really). 

Some other bummers in our household:

-the kids miss their friends

-all of the fun end of school stuff being cancelled

-the kids missing almost half of a precious school year with their teachers and classmates, time they will never get back

-not being able to spend time with family. We usually get together with my parents A LOT and we love it. I miss them. 

-missing going out to eat! We love the experience of going out to eat, sitting and relaxing and talking over a meal in a restaurant… and it’s been a long time now since we’ve been able to enjoy that (March 11th, to be exact- Ivan’s birthday dinner was our last night out!). 

-Summer plans = Nonexistent at this point. The fate of Asher’s week long swim camp at a college is yet to be determined but not looking good. I’m not feeling that optimistic about other soccer camps, day camps, etc. that they would normally enjoy either. Ethan and his best friend were planning to try track. Instead, we basically have no plans at this point for summer and it stinks.

-my sister and family were supposed to come for an extended time in July. I was really looking forward to taking my little nieces to the zoo, maybe the Dells, watching fireworks together, swimming with the boys, to all the great parks around here, the botanical gardens…. Her girls are at perfect ages for so many fun outdoor summer activities and now we can’t do any of it. And, I’ve only met my baby nephew once at 5 months old, and he just turned 1. I was so looking forward to seeing his chubby little early toddler face in real life! 

My girls!! I MISS them. 

On that note, however, I am resolving to just let some of this be. Asher just started learning the piano sheet music for The Beatles’ “Let It Be”. (LOVE this song). So, we spent some time this week learning the lyrics, listening to the original and watching some You Tube videos about the Beatles. 

When I find myself in times of trouble,
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be. 
Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be 
Whisper words of wisdom,
let it be.

I just love these lyrics. As with most songs, we can take them and apply them really however we want to our own lives. (Apparently, mother “Mary” may be actually referring to Paul McCartney’s mother Mary who passed away from cancer when he was a young teen). But, as I think many others do as well, when I listen to this song I like to think of the Virgin Mary and the peace and comfort that she brings. 😊

Quick side note: Has anyone seen the movie “Yesterday”? The one where the Beatles suddenly disappear from the history of the Earth except for an aspiring young songwriter who does remember them- who then decides to take over all of their great songs as his own to kick start his career? 

Ironically, that movie was on HBO the other night and Ivan and I were re-watching part of it before bed. There is such a funny scene where the kid tries to play his “new song- Let it Be” for his parents on the piano. They of course have never heard of the actual song and don’t really even care, so they keep interrupting him every two seconds and referring to the song as “Leave it Be” or “Let Him Be”….it cracked me up! 

Steps: 11, 615
Meditate: omg I forgot!!! I didn’t do it right away in the morning and then was planning to do it after I walked in the evening…then I just totally spaced out and forgot!! Boo. Maybe I’ll do 10 minutes today to make up for it!
Read: 50 minutes

What are your biggest bummers about this whole time?? 
Have you seen the movie “Yesterday”? What’s your favorite Beatles song???

Daily Gratitude:
I have been thinking this week how grateful I am that I have a window in my kitchen. It’s one of those minor things that seems unimportant, but it brings me so many small moments of joy. I spend quite a bit of time standing at the sink, and I really love that I have a nice, big window there overlooking the yard. I enjoy looking out at the trees, the birds and the squirrels every day. 

Kitchen window view. Nothing overly special- no mountain or ocean views here- but it still makes me happy! 

8 thoughts on “Let It Be”

  1. Margot was supposed to do outdoor soccer this spring. One of her classmates dad was going to coach. I was really looking forward to it as I’m sure 3 year old soccer would be a hoot! We canceled our Door County trip with Mike’s extended family. His family has gone to Door County every Memorial Day weekend for 25 years! Otherwise, just going to miss all of the fun summer festivals and such…Molly (not sure why my husband’s name is showing up)


  2. Ohh…. that's so sad! 3 year old soccer is the best. The good old days before everything is about competition and you can just stand there and chuckle at the amoeba of kids swarming after the ball! lol. That's so disappointing about the Door County trip too. 😦 Maybe it could move to Labor Day? (but who even knows about that..)


  3. I can relate to your post so much!We are missing soccer season and golf season right now. I actually cried yesterday when we got an email saying the Vacation Bible School the kids have gone to for the last 4 years will be doing a "staycation" camp where we can do all the projects at home. It just made the changes all feel so real, even though really it's a very small thing. Just the straw that broke the camel's back for me in that moment . We are sad about canceled travel plans to see family as well, just things we do every year. I know others are facing much worse but like you said in one of your other posts, these things are still ok to grieve over. I'm so sorry about your Europe trip – that is really sad! I hope you guys are able to reschedule it and enjoy it at some point!!


  4. I too thrive on routine and plan my monthly schedule out in great detail. “Going with the flow” just isn’t in my DNA. It causes me to feel uneasy and anxious. During this season God has been strongly nudging me to rely on Him more and better understand that my sense of control is an illusion. So during this time when anxiety creeps in as it often does for me- I repeat this mantra “Control is An Illusion” and it brings me peace.


  5. I'm sorry about the VBS. Doing the projects at home just is NOT the same!! I'm sure they will be disappointed, although for some reason I feel like I am the one more disappointed about certain things in some ways than they are. I think kids don't always really think about the big picture like we do- like, "these moments of their youth are so fleeting, and now we had to miss a big chunk of 4th grade!" or a whole year of VBS or whatever. 😦


  6. I LOVE that mantra!! I had never heard that before. I had to sit and think about that for a minute when I read your comment. It is so true though! Thank you so much for sharing it. 🙂


  7. I really enjoyed the movie "Yesterday" – I watched it on the way home from a business trip and it made the time fly by. I adore the Beatles! It's tough to pick a favorite. Our first dance at our wedding was to a Beatles song – "Here, There and Everywhere." Our lives aren't impacted by canceled camps and such and luckily we had just gone on a short family trip to FL in late Feb before all the craziness hit. But I'm struggling with the lack of time outside our house. Walks help, but I'm used to seeing friends and family and going out for meals. Each day feels like the same day, over and over again. Like you said, I know we are lucky because we are healthy and still have our jobs (at full hours, though, unlike you 😦 ). But it's still hard to have our lives disrupted. Typically we would be going to my parents lake home once a month, but I don't know when we can safely visit them. Now that our son is back in daycare, there's no way to know what he's exposed to. My parents are over 70 and my dad has health complications, so he's high risk. So I don't know how we are going to visit them this summer. :….(


  8. Ohhhh….. I know sis, I know! We are so so so disappointed about how all the exciting travel plans for this year have panned out. Starting with Mom and Dad's trip here in March which was kind of a mess due to all the uncertainty of the pandemic ramping up, to the cancellation of your trip in March, to the now almost certain cancellation of our summer US trip and extreme uncertainty about August. My older daughter especially is really bummed about it all and says almost everyday how much she misses Grandma and Grandpa, and her aunt and uncle and cousins. She was so excited about Paris (as was I!) and about being in the US this summer. And now… nothing. As you say the worst of it all is the uncertainty of when/if it can all be rescheduled. We are also bummed in our household about missing the last quarter of the preschool year (L) and the start of preschool (E). E asks every day if she can go to "little school" as she calls it – she would have started by now and is so ready for it. We are also missing the little things like trips to the playground, play dates, birthday parties, etc. The kids talk about "when coronavirus is over" and it's heartbreaking to hear them say that big word so matter of factly at their ages. Of course they don't really understand what it is and so we parents feel so mean for disappointing them at every turn. My husband's parents were also making serious plans to move closer to us at the end of the summer and were only about a week away from putting their house on the market when this whole thing went down. It took a lot of work on our part to get them moving in the right direction, and now all that momentum has been lost. I don't know, honestly, if/when they will ever feel comfortable undertaking such a big move now that there is so much uncertainty in the world. With our summer cancelled and world travel up in the air generally we don't know when we will see any of our extended loved ones again, and that's just a crummy feeling. We miss you all so much! 😦


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