I mentioned I joined an “Advice for New Puppy Owners” Facebook group recently. It’s been both interesting and helpful. It’s a very active group, and people post questions, discussion, advice, etc.
It’s been nice to know there are other people “in my same boat”, learning as they go and figuring out all this puppy stuff.
It’s also reassuring in many ways, because some people sound like they REALLY have their hands full with their puppies. Any challenges with Charlie can seem minor compared to what some others report! 😳 Overall, Charlie is really pretty good. (A lot of people seem to struggle with the potty training thing…. maybe our breeder was really great or Charlie is a genius, but Charlie has had I think ONE accident in the house in the month since we got him. As long as we take him outside pretty often, he never goes in the house, ever.)
I saw this one post today from a lady who sounds kind of at her wits end. (No, this was not me posting 😆). You don’t have to read the whole thing, but here’s a screenshot. Basically, she is feeling the “Puppy Blues” and feeling like maybe this whole thing was a mistake. I can relate to some of her sentiments. It IS super overwhelming, in my opinion!
A lot of wonderful posters chimed in and reassured her that it would get easier, she was doing fine, etc.
My favorite response though was this one:
The truth of it made me smile in acknowledgment. “We make everything so hard nowadays and ask so much of ourselves.”
It also made me think about how we all parent today. Everything nowadays seems to be so hyped up.
Back in the day I doubt parents gave a heck of a lot of thought about how they raised their kids, besides I assume making sure they were fed and had clothing. I’m not saying it should be to that extreme, either, but a lot of people (myself included) now seem to really spend A LOT of energy trying to “do parenting right”.
Academics. Screen time. Naps. Sleep schedules. Organic food. The right snacks. The right school. How many extracurriculars? But don’t over-entertain, them, either. Some boredom is good. Enrich! Experiences! Memories!
It’s kind of crazy when you think about it. And, I suppose, these may be very much first-world problems. I have wondered before what a mom living in rural, I don’t know, Uganda, might think if she knew of parents sketching out their kids’ multiple extracurriculars on white boards and tutor schedules and color coordinating labeled bins in their mudrooms.
Anyway, I’m just as guilty of overthinking and overdoing as the next guy, if not probably worse than some people. (Worrier by nature… tends to manifest by trying to do everything “just right” or “by the book”.)
Just something I was mulling over on my walk this morning! Let’s all just chill. 😎
Daily Gratitude:
I am grateful for Friday!!
GRATEFUL KAE 
I am grateful for Fridays too.
Since I do not have kids I am trying to keep my opinion to myself but those thoughts may have crossed my mind.
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Yes, I’m sure it looks even worse to an “outsider”, if you will, who isn’t directly living the whole parent life thing!!
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I don’t have a puppy (although I’ve heard they take work) and I don’t have kids (so I am just commenting from second hand experience), but I do think that you’re right that we do make everything hard these days… and I don’t know if it has to be. I know some very laid back parents that don’t fuss too much about their kids and the kids seem to be very relaxed and well adjusted… and then I know parents who overthink *everything* and their kids are as stressed out as they are. I think there’s something to be said about making good decisions, but not overthinking every minute of every day.
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Definitely overthinking in many things. you know what I think? because we are so privileged not to have worry about putting food in the table, war, disease, thus we make a small thing a big deal. I guess it’s sign of how lucky we are 🙂
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Yes to this!
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Yes, let’s all just chill! Our grandparents would have laughed if someone told them they had to read a book on “parenting.” And my own parents certainly didn’t hover and organize every little thing. We went to school, we played outside, we ate whatever dinner my mom cooked, watched an episode of “Happy Days” and that was it. Once a week I had a guitar lesson. Okay, things are a little more complicated nowadays with all the screens (you don’t really have to set limits when all you have is a TV with three channels) but I definitely think we make things more complicated than they have to be.
And… omg Charlie sitting on the car seat. Could there be anything cuter? I DON’T THINK SO.
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Gosh Charlie is so cute! Makes up for some of the challenges… same deal for a baby. Good thing they are cute and snuggly because they wreak havoc on our lives. Ha.
I think about this quite a bit, too. I came from a family of 5 with parents that worked full time and ran a business. We were limited to one extracurricular at a time because they did not have the time to drive us all over the place for things. I have some memories of my dad playing horse with us in the driveway and my parents read to me a ton. But I don’t think they played with us nearly as much as I play with my boys… nor were they curating all these fun weekend plans. I often tell my boys that I had ONE park in my tiny town and I was thrilled with that one park. But I wasn’t like going to 3 parks in the course of a weekend like my boys do at times. Granted I lived in a super rural area so I didn’t have access to all the stuff they do. I do hope they look back on their childhood someday and realize how great it was. They are way too young to have any sense of how very good they have it. Similarly, when I went to college, it made me realize how good I had it. Like we had so many family dinners despite all the busy schedules and my mom was an excellent cook. I remember some of my college friends didn’t realize you could make a cake without a cake mix. All of our desserts were made from scratch for the most part. Which is not a huge deal but it’s a little something my mom put alot of effort into and was very good at and I just assumed everyone’s mom was making made from scratch cakes and cookies and such. It’s just a small example of the assumptions we make about our circumstances when growing up.
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Yes to all of this. It’s so hard to strike the right balance and we have feedback coming at us from EVERY side and everyone is advocating a different approach. I don’t think we feel like we can just parent or do anything intuitively these days.
But parenting is exhausting. I try to balance things well but it’s still…exhausting!
Charlie is so cute, but I will admit that your experience has quashed any last hopes of bringing a puppy into our family (we have discussed). I couldn’t handle the commitment at this point! But soon the puppy stage will be behind you and you’ll just have the CUTEST DOG ON THE PLANET (well, tied with Hannah).
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Puppies are hard but would not trade our now 3 yo Shiba Inu for anything.
Charlie is so cute-it will get easier and total “yes” to being open to doing workouts at weird times…if needed, a little comedy watching while you’re on the treadmill or early am workout (love Barre3 or free Nike classes available on the Nike app) make such a difference!
You got this Kae (and Kae family:)).
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Ooh, I have never checked out the Nike app classes. Thanks for the suggestion! I’ll have to look into that. I sometimes miss my Beachbody membership when I don’t have time to get to the gym but still want to do something.
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YES YES YES! Don’t even get me started on how spoiled my kids are!! With everything. Clothing, food, housing, activities, birthdays. I mean it’s not their fault that they are lucky to be born in a wealthy country with two gainfully employed and smart parents (us). But I also see some entitlement with them which I try to break as soon as possible. L was wining about not wanting breakfast the other day, I pull up pictures of Russian orphanage food (just from Google images). How is that for breakfast? Then she complained about the wrong color tights. Ohhhhh, how about this picture of a boy who has no shoes? Anyway, you get the point. L and R need to learn gratitde- a lot!
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This post really resonated with me today because, well, just yes to all of it. We’re looking into high schools for our daughter and holy shit you’d think it was the most important decision of her life, the way some parents talk about it. But it absolutely is not, and as long as she is learning the fundamentals, and is happy, that’s really all that matters in my mind. And the reality is she’ll have plenty of opportunities for both of those at pretty much all the schools we’re thinking about.
We do do so much and ask so much of ourselves. It’s too much and we don’t have to participate in it. We just have to remember that.
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School decisions definitely feel HUGE to me, too! My husband is not nearly as finnicky about it because he moved several times as a kid and went to a bunch of different schools. He thinks kids will most likely adapt wherever they are, generally speaking. Of course there are specific factors to consider, in certain cases, but probably in most cases, it’s a bit of a horse a piece….
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Oh my gosh. That PICTURE. He is so cute.
That poster’s angst is exactly the reason I will not get a dog. I like dogs, theoretically, and really LOVE seeing photos of my friends’ dogs and I enjoy encountering dogs while walking etc. But I don’t love them enough to deal with all the normal things a dog owner needs to deal with, and I KNOW that I would be the primary caretaker of any pet we got. So. Even though I feel like a Mean Mom 90% of the time, I am not getting a dog.
The parenting tie-in is so true. I find myself CONSTANTLY worrying that I am doing it wrong, or could be doing better or more. And probably there ARE — okay, definitely there are — things that I could improve. But there’s no manual to being a parent. There’s no perfect way to parent. We are all just doing the best that we can and that looks different for everyone.
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I definitely think that we are too hard on ourselves in many ways. I don’t have a dog or kids but I see the competition that the parents have with each other and I sometimes wonder if it is all worth it. I do not think that the kids/dog need to be perfect, high achievers who are MVPs in all sports, play the piano flawlessly and are destined for or being prepped for Harvard when they are 8. I think they need to have fun, and to be able to run around aimlessly sometimes without an agenda and learn about life on their own.
However, on the flip side, I do think that as a dog (and kid) owner, there is a certain level of responsibility that you have to society when it comes to manners. For example, dogs should be trained to heel and if the owner does not have time to make this happen, they should pay someone else to do it, or do whatever needs to be done to make it happen. People should not have to put up with being jumped on at the park or be rushed at by a “friendly” dog. There are certain behaviors that do need to be taught or controlled.
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Definitely there are some “norms” that pet owners do need to be aware of!! But besides that, it’s probably not the end of the world if the dog isn’t perfectly trained to do every last thing and wash the dishes and flush the toilet. LOL.
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I agree, although if dogs could do the dishes, I may need to get one tout suite!
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Your puppy is SO CUTE! We got our last dog when he was 7 months old, and thus missed a lot of the drama. If your puppy nips you in play, you can train him not to by making a startled, ‘YIP!’ noise, like a puppy in pain. He doesn’t want to hurt you, and this will teach him. 🙂 My daughter learned that one at a volunteer job she had once, working with rescues.
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Aww that is SO COOL that your daughter got to work with rescue dogs!! I feel like that is every kid’s dream. I feel like that would be a hard volunteer gig to get, just due to high demand!
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