Kids, Misc.

Smartphones & bedtime guilt

New phone!

Exciting news. Haha. Ivan ordered me a new phone the other day and it arrived yesterday. I am the type who might use the same iphone for eternity if it were not for the nudging of my husband. (I’ve said before- sometimes I don’t love change!) I generally adapt fully to whatever phone I’m using and cannot imagine why I would ever need a new one.

But, I guess there was some too-good-to-pass up trade in offer going on (I let Ivan deal will all of that stuff). Also, my old one’s battery life was kind of clunking out on me, too. The new phone is pretty! I like the midnight blue color. Excited about the nicer camera for our Maine trip pictures this summer, too.

Side story about phones: The kids were asking recently about what our phones used to be like, years ago. I told them how when I needed a new phone back in like, 2007 (after smartphones had come out), I distinctly remember standing in the store and saying to Ivan, while looking at some options, “I don’t know. I can’t imagine why I would ever need my email ON MY PHONE. I mean, I can just check it at home. I really don’t think I need one of those.”

🤯 Whoa! How the times have changed. Sometimes I really do long for the simplicity of the olden days, though. Leaving a note on the table, “Be back by 6!”, because once you left the house, you were unreachable. Crazy to even imagine, now.

Bedtime guilt

A couple times this past week, I’ve ended up feeling a little guilty at bedtime. (The boys’ current bedtime is right about 9:30. I keep hearing everywhere how teens are simply wired to stay up a little bit later, but I’m not really a fan, because 9:30 encroaches greatly on my/ our alone time before my hopefully 10:30 (at the latest) bedtime. Many times we will head in to watch a show or go in the hot tub by 9 or so, letting them just read or watch a little TV on their own for a bit. Whenever we try for an earlier bedtime, they literally do not fall asleep earlier! They don’t wake up until after 7 though most days.)

But a few times this week, I had already climbed into bed (not to sleep, but with my book or show) while they were still up, brushing teeth, etc…. and once I’m down, I cannot get back up! The other night, Asher yelled, “Okay! Mom, come in!!” And I yelled back, “No!!!! I am not getting back up! I’m already lying down. Just go to sleep! Night! Love you!” And he protested a little bit…”Awww, come on….”…but I still didn’t go!!!

Hahaha. But, then I felt terrible. Because, how much longer will he even WANT his Mom to come tuck him in??! Probably not that much longer…sniff sniff….So, the last couple nights I made an extra point to get back up, go in and give those quick hugs and kisses, while they’ll have them. Those couple short minutes of connection/ very brief little chat do mean something to them, I think!

Daily Gratitude:

I am grateful that my husband deals with the phone contracts/ trade-ins/ pricing/ etc. I do enough other stuff and this is just not something I’m interested in taking on!

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4 thoughts on “Smartphones & bedtime guilt

  1. Ooh, a new phone! Fun! I am still using an 8 – I think? I got it right before Paul was born so I would have live photos. Phil uses his phones forever – he never wants to upgrade and when he does, he gets a refurbished used phone because they are way cheaper! My 8 is still going strong so I will stick with it until it doesn’t charge or has some other issue – that’s what prompted me to get a newer phone before Paul was born, in addition to wanting live photos. I have heard the portrait mode on the new phones is awesome. I take all my pictures using my phone so it would be nice to have that – but not nice enough for me to spend money on a new phone yet!

    Ah, mom guilt. It’s so tough. But I see your point about not wanting to say no to requests for hugs/saying good night since they won’t always want you/need you at that time! Our kids go to bed sooo early! The baby goes to bed around 6 because he tends to wake from his last nap around 2:30-3:30 and can really only handle 2-2.5 hours of awake time. So we barely see him when he gets home from school but I know this is a brief phase of life. The toddler goes to bed around 7. A lot of friends with similar-aged kids put them to bed at 8 or later! Paul just seems to need alot of sleep, though. We tried pushing his bedtime back a bit as he was waking up so early but it made no difference! This schedule works nicely for me as I can hang with Phil from 7:30-8:30 and then go up and read for 30-60 min before going to bed!

    1. Yes, those early bedtimes are super nice for having some adult/ quiet time after the kids go to bed!! My boys really never went to bed super early- never in the 6-7 pm range- but as babies/toddlers slept pretty solidly 8-8! (Helped that they didn’t have to be up and off to daycare super early). Obviously, a 7-8 pm bedtime doesn’t last forever though… so enjoy it while it lasts! 😉 They just recently this year have shifted from an 8:30 bedtime to more in the 9-9:30 range. It’s definitely been an adjustment, since I was so used to the routine of them going to bed, then still having that big chunk of time to ourselves. It still feels weird to me to go in my room and read/watch TV while the boys are still up!

  2. I can relate to the bedtime stuff and my boy still likes his snuggles too. 8:30 p.m. is the cutoff on weekdays and time to get ready for bed because we found that there were too many cups of water, oh-I-need-this-for-schools, oh-I’m-reading-until-10:30 instances. Lights were absolutely out at 9:30 p.m. On weekends, it can be 9:30-10 p.m.

    Thinking of an appropriate screen time limit and we will be shutting off internet for at least the morning this summer. Two hours might be the limit. Right now, on weekends, you can’t play until 8 a.m. and that hampers the shouting that happens :).

    1. Yes- you are so right about all of those last minute things extending everything…last night Ethan was reading in living room and it was already 9:21…I said, BEDTIME! And he proclaimed, but bedtime isn’t until 9:30. I had to explain, yet again, that you don’t just go poof! and magically end up in bed!! Need to allow that time to brush teeth, water, etc.. But of course they resist.. haha. I should probably have them getting ready by 9 to just avoid some of that.

      We need to start figuring out the summer screen time plans, too. Feels so easy to get out of hand and I’m feeling a pull to want to curb it, too. I like the 2 hour limit idea. If we’re not careful, they can blow through the screen time like hotcakes. 🙂 I feel a new level of confusion about handling it, bc as you know, they love to play virtually with friends…so I try to balance the whole “when their friends can play” with when “I” want them to play…not always as straightforward as it used to be when they were a little younger. 🙂

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