Feeling a bit…..something this morning. Not exactly sure what. Sort of a mix between overwhelmed and frustrated. Maybe a touch of anxious and…irritable? I don’t even know. I feel conflicted, too. About several different things.
The weekend was awesome- truly, as you saw in my post yesterday, Ethan’s birthday was such a highlight. But I did find the whole weekend kind of exhausting, too! It honestly really wasn’t, but I kind of perceived it that way. I think mostly because I am really not used to having like, “deadlines” (if you can call having balloons blown up and presents wrapped by a certain day a deadline) anymore.
That’s one problem for me with this pandemic- I feel like with the big slow down in life, any amount of more intense activity now suddenly feels like I’ve just hiked to Machu Picchu. Hahaha.
So yeah, just started the week feeling a bit tired and then on top of it all, I’m just feeling torn and kind of lost on a few things:
With our Europe trip definitely cancelled in August (sad sad SAD!!!), we had been talking of going to our favorite place in Panama City Beach, Florida (road trip). That seemed like a safe alternative, considering the place we always stay has full kitchens and is on a quiet end of the beach (not a huge high rise place or anything- usually no one near us on the beach plus we could cook in our room and basically socially distance once we got there).
Well, with our luck, Florida, of all places, has turned in to quite the epicenter here of covid….I mean, seriously?! Come on! So now we are trying to decide WHAT to do. The trip would be in mid-August. Ended up spending a big chunk of time over the last few days considering our options, looking into maybe going to a friend’s up north lake rental here in WI instead (though the available trip dates at her place were not working out the best for us unfortunately)… But I think we all had been craving some ocean and beach time in PCB since we didn’t go last year.
I don’t know. I’m tired of this dumb virus disrupting everything and I’m tired of thinking about it and trying to predict what is going to happen! I just feel frustrated and annoyed. The county we would be in in Florida is nowhere near the real hot spots, but still…it’s hard to know. Then again, stuff is on the rise everywhere it seems (even around home!), so I don’t even know what to think.
Also feeling conflicted about my TIME this week. I felt very unproductive yesterday, just thinking about too many things and trying to figure out this trip stuff. I have so much to do this week, I’m supposed to take Asher to the pool today, he has a drum lesson later and my parents are coming tonight to celebrate Ethan’s birthday, I have an electrician coming tomorrow, plus we are going up north on Thursday to Upper Michigan for the weekend and I’m not at all ready. I missed my workout yesterday which always makes me crabby and I feel like I don’t have TIME to do it today either! I have lots of work work to do, which needs to take priority today but I feel like I can’t decide what to even start on first and I feel anxious that I’m basically just going to run out of time.
So, yeah! Just kind of a mess at the moment, though nothing is actually a big deal. This is why I love that gratitude podcast I shared the other day- the episode this morning talked about a woman who lost her husband, then was diagnosed with breast cancer, then remarried and lost THAT husband (omg!!!!), and THEN lost one of her sons to an accident at 20 years old. And, she is still thriving in life and is a big proponent of gratitude….holy Toledo. Hearing that made me want to just shut my pie hole immediately. 😊
Going to wrap this up and spend a few minutes planning my day and prioritizing what needs to happen first. Gotta shake off this dazed and confused feeling and get organized!
Seems fitting, with the dilemma at hand…. today’s pick is Panama City Beach, Florida. A place I’ve been going since I was a kid, and my parents went back before they even had us. We’ve been there maybe 5 times with our family now too (lost count! Not every year, but we’ve gone a bunch of times). It is our true happy place, the easy, relaxing trip that requires zero planning and no stress.
I’m grateful for some big pink perennial flowers that are growing in my wild and crazy flower bed back by my shed. I don’t even know what they are, but I planted them a few years ago and they are tall and beautiful. They are in full bloom right now and I can see them from my kitchen window. I’ll snap a picture later. I’m grateful for them since they catch my eye every time I look out across the yard.